Back on our college radio show, one semester we did horoscopes each week.
Drawing upon that experience, here are astrological horoscopes for engineers:
ARES: Don't sign any protocols containing the words, "Who cares, that’s close enough."
TAURUS: You will move toward power soon. An open cubicle closer to the secretary will bear your name.
GEMINI: A problem time for lab equipment, don't operate anything more complex than a caliper.
CANCER: Your boss will have important information for you shortly. However, even the stars can't predict who your boss will be at any given moment.
LEO: The next three meetings you go to will be meaningless, the fourth will be vitally important, but not necessarily in that order.
VIRGO: Go out, get drunk, and raise a ruckus.
LIBRA: The answer to that technical issue that has been nagging you can be found on page six of this month's World of Archie comic.
SCORPIO: You need more personal space. Move each cubicle wall out a foot and a half.
SAGITTARIUS: You will be insulted by five directors at a presentation. Three are passing on grief from a Vice Presidential lashing they received. Two have you pegged.
CAPRICORN: All of your next group of samples will be built exactly twenty three seconds late. This will delay the project two months.
AQUARIUS: Avoid sticking your head in a destructive test fixture this week.
PISCES: Professional contacts are on the rise. You will meet Engineers at many other companies, who will marginally apologize as they throw your resume back in your face.