I would definitely
review any new Star Wars film upon its release, and I suppose the upgrade of
the Disney Theme Park attraction also counts.
The purpose of separating this out is to cater to those who desire to
learn of the ride’s changes, without having to wallow through the long,
detailed, and stupid joke filled travelogue of the entire trip. (Disney 2013 Trip Index)
Starting at the
beginning-
The Entrance:
The outside line has not
changed. It continues to be as awesome as ever.
Guests still enter by walking underneath a looming All Terrain Armored
Transport, and then pass by the underside of the Ewok village treehouse.
I’m old enough to
remember when the attraction first opened.
A Long Time Ago, in a
Galaxy …well a long time ago, anyway.
The line would
frequently snake through the Ewok trees before entering the starport. Throughput is fairly high these days, and
watching the MyDisneyExperience wait times during our off season visit, and
even checking before our trip when crowds were greater, the wait rarely spiked
above 20 minutes.
I originally thought
this was because the new ride was shorter.
However, it still runs four and a half minutes. I guess being sectioned
makes it feel faster. (More on that later.)
I think the real reason
is they’ve added a ridiculous amount of extra attractions to the park, and
parks to the World since it opened.
Therefore any ride that isn’t a star feature, and has good throughput,
automatically keeps the wait times down.
They have a bunch of Starspeeder 1000s lined up, and any time the line increased
at all, they’d pop open another one.
One cast member was
specifically surprised when an unexpected influx happened, stating as he
powered up a new Starspeeder, “We never back up, unless Indiana Jones lets
out.”
Anyway, back to the review.
The Line:
The Starport is slightly
cooler than it was before, and that’s saying quite a bit. I’ve often claimed
Disney lines are frequently more immersive and entertaining than the actual rides
at other theme parks. Star Tours was a
big reason behind that.
The various R2 and
technical droids (which used to be geese in a long gone attraction) are still
there, as well as the Mon Calamari in the control room, plus R2-D2 and C-3PO
working on the Starspeeder. There are
however, enhancements.
One of the tech droids
is screening luggage and cracking jokes.
Yes, they are bad jokes, but I love them anyway. The other is by one of
two “windows” which show the people on line with an infrared camera. The cameras
are at weird angles making it difficult to see yourself when you are in the
window, adding to the illusion of more travelers working their way through the
busy spaceport, since you can rarely identify those around you on the screen.
There’s also the
addition of poor Pilot Rex from the original attraction being packed into a crate
marked “defective” and spouting random Pee Wee Herman voiced lines from his
appearance there. However, this new
version is supposed to take place BEFORE the original version.
(Probably because George
Lucas has problems counting in order.)
I’m guessing that means
somewhere in the Star Wars Expanded Universe there’s an unwritten tale of Rex’s
escape and bold return to Starspeeder 3000 command. Or - knowing the Star Wars
crowd like I do - a fan fiction crossover with Doctor Who, where the defective Rex is brought back in time in the
T.A.R.D.I.S.
The big board also gets
an upgrade with many new videos, signs and gags.
Trust me, even if
there’s no line at all; take your time in the queue to enjoy all the hard work
the imagineers put in for your entertainment. They all have mothers, you know.
Boarding Area:
The boarding area
contained the supply of “Flight Goggles.”
They are never just “3D
Glasses.”
Star Tours has “Flight
Goggles,”
Muppets 3D has “Lab
Goggles,”
It’s Tough to be a Bug
has “Bug Eyes,”
Philharmagic has “Opera
Glasses,”
Spider-man over in
Universal has “Night Vision Goggles,”
And Captain Eo has…
Um…
Things to wear that make
everyone look weird so Michael Jackson looks a smidge more normal by
comparison.
Once goggled, the cast
member directed travelers to the proper row.
Cast members are still
about an even split between normal college age Happy Disney people and first generation
Star Wars fans who don’t quite measure up to the physical specifications to be
Masters at the Jedi Training Academy show.
Try to get one of the
second types in the loading area; they make the trip far more immersive and
fun.
The preloading show was
funnier, had more aliens in the safety lecture, and explained why the ship was
in the hands of a more capable than he actually thinks, but very entertainingly
neurotic, C-3PO. This allowed the
classic vaudevillian interplay between him and R2-D2 during the trip.
Sometime during the
boarding is when the cast member selected who the rebel spy is. Sadly, I did
not know this, and thought it was a seat pattern that I failed to figure out,
meaning none of us was worthy to buy the “I was the rebel spy” t-shirt
conveniently located at the ride’s exit.
The Ride:
The ride itself is
definitely an improvement over an already great experience.
And since I am notoriously
cranky when Disney changes things, you can believe that claim.
The 3D worked best, like
most modern 3D does, by increasing the realism of the depth of field of the
environments the ship flies through.
There were a few good poke in the eye 3D gags, but not many, especially
because there is a windshield on the Starspeeder, preventing almost all 3D
experiences from “Comin’ Atcha!” It did
work well in its intended role of increasing the immersiveness of the
experience.
Overall, the ride itself
is provided greater entertainment and storytelling. The 3D added a little bit, but mostly this came
from the increases in both CGI technology and the amount of existing Star Wars
to draw from. The original ride was fun, but I don’t remember any “giant comet ice
crystal asteroid field” in the films.
The multiple choice
nature of the experience also enhanced the ability to enjoy repeated rides.
However, it is the cause for my one complaint.
There were two possible
openings, and three each of the initial flight, urgent message, and final
flight segments. Either the randomizer
was as bad as the one I-tunes uses, or they used certain missions less often,
making them like the short packed “chase” action figure in each wave. Neither is a good thing.
We rode about seven or
eight times on three different days, the break down was as follows.
The opening either
featured following the Millennium Falcon, or escaping Darth Vader (YAY!):
They were about evenly
distributed, but clumped - all Vader one day, all Falcon another.
Flight one: either soaring
through trees on Kashyyk (That’s the Wookie planet for the non-incredibly geeky
in the crowd.), a Pod Race on Tatooine, or flying through walkers on the Ice
planet Hoth.
This is where the random
elements really broke down. We got to
see the two of them only once each. Every other trip passed through
Kashyyk.
Don’t get me wrong, I
love Wookies. Seeing them roaring at us, or occasionally falling on the windshield
was great. More variety in the variable
ride would have been nice though. The
Hoth experience was definitely my favorite of the three. It felt the most real,
the 3D working excellently for the close scrapes through the AT-AT’s legs. Hoth also had the greatest mix of types of
motion for any of the opening jaunts. It
switched between speedy straight flying, low level dodging, and sliding on ice.
The Tatooine trip
deserves special mention for a couple of reasons. First, because the nature of the Pod Race was
a different feel from most of the free flying missions. Unfortunately, we got it on one of the few
rides my wife (who does not like thrill rides) joined my daughter and me on. She
was concerned that, while some riders may find it thrilling, the increased side
to side bumpiness could pop a kidney stone free.
The best part of Tatooine
was a character moment for our accidental pilot, C-3PO. For almost the entire ride, Goldenrod varied
between the entertaining panic that Anthony Daniels has mastered after over
three decades in the role, and resolute acceptance when called to aid the Rebel
Alliance.
However, upon seeing the
pod-race, Threepio showed his one true moment of excitement, and exclaimed one
of Captain Rex’s lines from the original, “I’ve always wanted to try
this.” Considering his main experience
with pod-races was watching his young creator compete in them, I thought this
was an exceedingly cool character insight.
After hyperspacing out
of the first area, a message came in from the rebel alliance concerning the
spy, and transmitting coordinates.
We saw a single message
from Admiral Ackbar, two from Yoda, and the rest from Princess Leia. A minor point since they’re all kind of the
same, but still, some more variety would have been nice.
Heading to meet the
rebels brings one of three two-phase chases, with more scenes directly from the
films. The mix was a little better for
this set.
We saw Coruscant more
often than the others but not by much.
It began in the insane space battle high above the city planet from Episode III, and then transitioned into
a flying car traffic chase much like the pursuit of the assassin droid in Episode II.
Another option started
in asteroid field space combat with Slave I, similar to Obi Wan’s altercation
with the Fetts over Geonosis in Episode
II. This section ended by finding
the rebel fleet after a detour through an in-construction Death Star, yet
another tribute to the original ride.
My favorite, by only a
small margin though, was Naboo, again because of variety. It started out in the space battle with the
Trade Federation from Episode I. Instead of an atmospheric flight, the ship next
headed under the ocean to pass the Gungan city and travel through the planet’s
core, with all the bizarre creatures that entailed. Finally, it included one of the few “in your
face” 3D gags of the ride at its finish.
After some combination
of the four sections, the ride ended, the Throne Room music cue played, and all
of us Star Wars geeks exited with our heads held a little higher, full of
temptation to buy everything in the Tatooine Traders. The temptation has grown exponentially now
that Disney owns Star Wars, and can cross pollinate their characters in awesome
ways.
In conclusion, and this
is a guy that is still boycotting Test Track because of the removal of World of
Motion and refuses to call Disney Studios anything but MGM:
THIS WAS A FANTABULOUS
CHANGE MADE BY DISNEY WORLD!
The ride is more of a
hoot, features more of the Star Wars universe (including the extra awesome
addition of C-3PO), and has more re-ride-ability due to the variations.
Final Thoughts:
I think Star Tours is an
excellent illustration of the differences between Disney Parks and others.
Universal’s Spider-Man
ride won all sorts of awards. From
viewing it purely as a thrill ride, it is better. There’s more different types of movement, the
spinning, twisting and shifting are faster and more “thrilling” and there are
changes in the visual medium throughout the ride (from video screens to
animatronics).
However, Star Tours is a
far more immersive experience, starting from the line. I didn’t realize until
my second trip onto the Spidey ride that the random Daily Bugle artifacts and cartoons were connected as part of the back
story. Once the Star Tours building is entered, the effect of being inside the spaceport
is immediate, thorough and obvious. Same
thing goes for the ride itself. I think
the extra motions and changes between mechanical and video effects that add to
the thrills of Spider-man, also serve to remind you regularly that it is only a
ride. The Starspeeder environment is
enveloping, complete and consistent.
The same comparison can be made between spinning and jolting through references in the Cat in the Hat dark ride at universal (with it's draconian anti-photo security) and entering the world Under the Sea the new Ariel dark ride in New Fantasyland.
Oddly, it is also true comparing the line to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey which feels much more like a real trip into the Wizarding World than the ride itself...
The same comparison can be made between spinning and jolting through references in the Cat in the Hat dark ride at universal (with it's draconian anti-photo security) and entering the world Under the Sea the new Ariel dark ride in New Fantasyland.
Oddly, it is also true comparing the line to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey which feels much more like a real trip into the Wizarding World than the ride itself...
I’ll choose immersive, fantastic
storytelling over cheap thrills any day.
Well done Jeff. Once again you manage to do jusice to the English language. BRAVO! However I'm a little concerned about your liking bad jokes. Well, I guess we all have our quirks.
ReplyDeletecuz mike
Many thanx for reading and posting Mike.
ReplyDeleteI don't "like" bad jokes...
I LIVE FOR THEM!!!