A short diversion before the next ongoing series of Monday posts.
When we were kids, it became clear that my sister was left-handed. My grandparents didn't understand fully, leading my Dad to (calmly and rationally, which he excelled at) explain the genetics of the situation and that she had to get the left handed genes from both sides of the family.
Immediately, both Grandparents proclaimed in a highly offended voice:
"No one in MYYYYY family was left handed!"
("Fossils," according to our children.)
She would have been subjected to family, school and government supported and sanctioned beatings to prevent her from being who she was due to nature and biology.
Those left handed kids before us were beat at a very young age. Sure they wouldn't be writing a novel, conducting a symphony, playing a major league sport, or any other adult activity, but they knew that they were left handed as part of who they were very early on.
I used to strike out at kickball.
(The fact that I juggle is due to sheer thick headedness, not genetically granted innate skill.)
My sister got all the sports genes in the family and excelled during multiple and varied seasons. It became a large part of the definition of who she was and is.
Would she have had those abilities to the same level (which led to many connections, hobbies and interests over the years) if she was forced to rely on her non-dominant half due to society's conventions?
Probably not.
My grandparents were stunned that there seemed to suddenly be so many left handers about. Another calm and rational explanation led to pointing out that there weren't any more left handers than there had been previously. There have been left handers all throughout history. However the fact that those hands weren't getting regularly smacked with rulers every time they were used led to far more visibility in the current world that the world of my Grandparents' childhoods.
Another interesting phenomenon developed as not having right hand dominance forced on everyone continued.
Because people were allowed to use their naturally selected left hand at all, other situations seemed to "appear" that some believed never existed before.
Some people were ambidextrous and could use either hand equally well.
Some people had the opposite foot dominant than their hand.
Some people threw with one hand but wrote with the other.
The allowance of a perfectly natural state of being as a societal norm triggered the visibility of a whole...
oh.... lets call it a spectrum,
of behaviors which were previously hidden by default.
(That is- If you're not allowed to use your left hand, you can't learn if you're ambidextrous.)
It's not that having the right side be non-dominant, in all its varieties, was somehow inspired, or trained, or coerced into being. It's that once the ruler smacking stopped, those varieties of this normal part of humanity became visible.
Also, without the morally wrong (and fortunately now legally wrong) ruler smacking, left handed people did not become right handed because they were surrounded by right handers. Similarly, left handed parents did not cause right handed children to switch by example and vice versa.
Knowing there were left handed people in the classroom and the world at large also did not change the dominant hand of other school children.
How about that?
Acceptance of left handedness came in stages in the environment they existed in.
When the ruler smacking days thankfully ended, there were no left handed scissors.
It made left handers look inferior because they could not cut properly with a tool not designed for them.
The next step was usually only one left handed scissor per class.
If there was more than one left hander?
Their experience boiled down to, "Serves you right for being different, now wait your turn."
Most classrooms now have an adequate supply of left handed scissors, allowing left handers to show that when the environment (and those in power) accept their natural state of being, they're a normal part of the group.
Note- the standard desks connected to chairs still prevent them from writing comfortably due to the bar location. Doors can be harder to open, and there are a lot more tools than scissors that are designed for the majority.
And words matter. A "left handed compliment" is still an insult.
But steps have been taken to make the world more ergonomic for everyone. In some cases it's different than it was, but without sacrificing usability for right handers, or forcing them to work left handed.
Imagine being a young left hander when it was first allowed.
It would be better than the recent past, when people just felt wrong their whole lives and no one cared.
However, every adult that you'd look up to and admire would seem different from you. You'd always feel like your handshake is awkward, because it doesn't match other people, or it feels unnatural to you switching hands.
As time passed, and more people were allowed to be left handed, this changed. Now imagine being one of the next waves of left handers. You're still feeling lucky if they have a scissor for you, almost everyone shakes hands differently than you do, and there are still people related to you with the "No one in MYYYYY family" mentality. Then, in a movie, or on TV, you see someone "like you" leading with their left hand. Or even better, you meet someone and they extend their left hand to shake. Suddenly, you feel less alone, and have a much more positive mental state about an element that is part of your normal biological make up.
What is the point of all this?
(Aside from me killing time before starting a series of posts that isn't ready yet)
There are people (The LGBTQIA+ community probably works best for this analogy, but they're not the only ones) that have to deal with groups existing in the "No one in MYYYYY family" and sadly even "ruler smacking mode" trying to deny these individuals their naturally determined state of being.
It's up to the rest of us, not only to stand up against the "ruler smacking," but to point out moments when there's only one left handed scissors in the room.
In college the LGBT students association started taking out ads in the poly every week that said "wear green on Thursdays and show your gay pride" (something like that). Then some other group took out a counter ad that said something like, "wear black on Thursdays and show your straight pride" but was clearly meant as anti-gay. I went to the poly office and tried to buy a $5 ad that read, "show your real pride on Thursdays and wear nothing". They told me they now had a policy against such things.
ReplyDeleteI remember those adds. (I also remember you telling us about your request).
ReplyDeleteI also remember them going more toward things like "wear jeans" or something extremely normal, to show support, encouraging more "accidents." Now that I am older and wiser, I understand why they did that.
Thanx for sharing.
Nicely done - this is a parallel I hadn’t thought about much, but could be very influential.
ReplyDeleteMany thanx!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping.
This is one of those things I want to force people to read.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, that means a lot.
ReplyDeleteI did find myself fowarding it to certain people thinking, "This will probably annoy them but just in case it gets through to them..."