Everything Needed...

Long ago in a faraway land:

The Great Western Kingdom was the most powerful, most benevolent and most successful realm in the land.

The King and Queen ruled justly and fairly, maintained excellent relations with other kingdoms, and were beloved by all their subjects.

Their only son, naturally - given this genre, was a handsome prince.

They spared no expense in his education and training, bringing in experts from the four corners of the realms.  However, they also restricted his power over his subjects and insisted he maintain the ability to function on his own and fend for himself.

Therefore he was also an intelligent, polite, thoughtful, and self-reliant prince.

Once the Young Prince reached marrying age, per the customs of the land, a princess was sent from each of the surrounding kingdoms with the hopes of building stronger ties between the nations.

The Young Prince was to spend a day with each of the three Princesses and receive gifts from them showcasing their greatest skills.

The First Day:

The Princess of the Northern Kingdom had glowing, golden hair that shone like the sun itself. Her eyes were the deepest blue of the untamed ocean and her skin as pure and white as polished ivory.

The gorgeous, intellectual and charming young lady’s specialty was as a seamstress.  For her gift, she presented the Young Prince with several selections for his wardrobe.  Precious metals and jewels were woven into the luxurious fabric, and each garment was as comfortable to wear as it was stylish.

The Young Prince and the Northern Princess discussed the details of her gifts, traded stories of their pasts, learned about shared goals for their futures, and lost track of the day in many and varied discussions of everything from minor happenings to lofty ideals.

The Second Day:

The Princess of the Southern Kingdom had raven black hair that sparkled with highlights like the stars of the night sky. Her deep brown eyes exuded warmth and comfort and contained their own flecks of starlight within, and her immaculate skin was tanned to rich shades as if coated in flawless bronze.

The gorgeous, intellectual and charming young lady’s specialty was as a composer.  For her gift, she presented the Young Prince with songs and poems of her own creation.  Beauty and passion along with truth and knowledge were woven together into arrangements each more memorable than the last, and each verse was as pleasing to the ear as it was intriguing to the mind.

The Young Prince and the Southern Princess discussed the details of her gifts, traded stories of their pasts, learned about shared goals for their futures, and lost track of the day in many and varied discussions of everything from minor happenings to lofty ideals.

The Third Day:

The Princess of the Eastern Kingdom had bright auburn hair that danced with the vibrancy and hues matching the flames of a hearth warming fire. Her eyes were the flashing green of perfectly cut emeralds and her fair and flawless skin had freckles that looked as if each were painted in place to perfection.

The gorgeous, intellectual and charming young lady’s specialty was as a chef.  For her gift, she presented the Young Prince with several courses and selections.  Ingredients both mundane and exotic were combined into flavors each more delectable than the last and each dish was as beautiful to behold as it was flavorful to eat.

The Young Prince and the Eastern Princess discussed the details of her gifts, traded stories of their pasts, learned about shared goals for their futures, and lost track of the day in many and varied discussions of everything from minor happenings to lofty ideals.

The young Prince was confused.  Surely there could be no more wondrous, talented, lovely, and clever young women in all the kingdoms.  They all found him as attractive and engaging as he found them, but he had no idea how to decide which to spend his life with.

He spent days mulling it over.  He consulted with the various wise experts who had been his teachers and trainers, to weigh the decision practically and logically. He discussed the merits and desires of each with the royal women of his own kingdom to get a female perspective. He spent hours replaying the events of the day with each Princess in his mind and heart, hoping for an emotional link to raise one above the others.

The evening before the day the choice had to be made, the Young Prince did not sleep a wink.

He sat awake all night thinking of the amazing talents each princess possessed, the staggering beauty each maiden was blessed with, and the keen insight each woman’s mind held.

Finally, on the prescribed day, the Young Prince made the only choice he could.

Do you know who he selected?

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The one with the biggest boobs.

The title is addressed to my daughter, should end with “to Know About Boys” and suddenly makes perfect sense now, doesn’t it?



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Disclaimer:

Yes, I'm sure this is a really old joke. However, I have no idea where or when I first heard it, and figure I’ve worked hard enough over the years on embellishments to make it my own.