War Dawn
The Aerialbots are so annoying, I am very glad they vanish in the upcoming time skip. (To intentionally get ahead of myself, they did not vanish. Alas.)
Yay Season One Seekers! Sure, they’re equally useless, but they have way more pizazz. No wonder the Aerialbots admire the Decepticons now.
You tell them Ironhide! He is having none of these whippersnapper planes dissing their cause.
Omega Supreme take us to Cybertron. Anyone want to start a pool on how many minutes before he explodes?.
On the eleventy-second appearance of time travel, Megatron finally goes for the paradoxical “steal energy from the past” plan. Most of his ideas threaten to take out the Earth. Its time he’s moved up to damaging all reality.
Omega only shut down after this trip. I really thought he’d explode again.
Hey, Optimus, maybe sending a group of Autobots that are only TWO WEEKS OLD on their own across Cybertron was poor resource allocation? Silverbolt, the “smart” one, knows the others have all walked into a trap… So he runs right into it to warn them. Now I know why Optimus made him leader, they think alike.
Woo! SEASON ONE TRANSFORMERS BATTLE ON CYBERTRON!!!
Anyway.
The nine million years in the past is confirmed. Bring on the LORE!
The Golden Age of Cybertron!! The planet is actually gold for kids that are bad at metaphors.
I forgot how goofy Orion Pax looks. One was a vast improvement. Especially since, for reasons, Robot Lips are hugely prominent in this story.
Ariel looks more like Arcee than Elita-1 (who she will become after this story),maybe that was the prototype for her. Also, I need to mention she has a robot ponytail, so we know she’s young, I guess.
Poor Dion, Alpha Trion couldn’t help
you. Optimus Prime begins seeped in loss.
I remembered more LORE. I think I
combined episodes. This was the whole plot of One but done in seven minutes.
We see Megatron assemble his first Decepticon army! And it is a is mass of Constructicons and Reflectors. That explains a great deal.
Meanwhile, in the present, the Decepticons find and reactivate a headless City Guardian. I feel not having a brain will not be a handicap against most Cybertronians.
Nine million year younger Alpha Trion
has shorter facial hair. I have questions.
Seeing how often Omega Supreme blows up
for no reason, it is easy to believe Megatron and his troops were able to
defeat the large number of City Guardians we see in the past.
We do get to see the very first time Optimus
Prime fights and defeats Megatron! AWESOME!
Prime straight up ignored hits from Megatron's fusion cannon while mowing down scores of Reflectors and Constructicons. Maybe his four million year nap slowed him down?
The annoying race car driver is named Auggie
Canhay which translates into “Auggy Doggie.” The writer has no idea why he did
that.
More Arabs, oh boy.
Megatron and Soundwave getting it done, without any other Decepticons. If they came to Earth alone, they would have won in a week and a half. Unfortunately, they need an archaeologist... for reasons.
Oh, another race. But this one isn’t
just because the Autobots are morons. It’s a cover to protect the energy source
in Augie’s car. He is both greedy and robot racist.
The competitors are a nice mix of Season One and Two race car Autobots.
Meanwhile, Augie’s car bears more than a passing resemblance to Racer X’s Shooting Star, foreshadowing that this is basically an episode of Speed Racer.
Ah, we learn why Megatron needed an archaeologist… to determine which portion of the valley is not solid rock. Maybe your acoustics expert, Soundwave, could have scanned for that. And then the human wouldn’t have escaped! Yet again, Earth makes you stupid. Instead of staying out of the way or figuring the Autobots would stay guarding what they came to guard at the race, Megatron sends the Stunticons to draw as much attention to Decepticon activity in the area as they can. Well, they needed to combine the two plots somehow.
We see Megatron assemble his first Decepticon army! And it is a is mass of Constructicons and Reflectors. That explains a great deal.
Meanwhile, in the present, the Decepticons find and reactivate a headless City Guardian. I feel not having a brain will not be a handicap against most Cybertronians.
Prime straight up ignored hits from Megatron's fusion cannon while mowing down scores of Reflectors and Constructicons. Maybe his four million year nap slowed him down?
Trans-Europe Express
More Arabs, oh boy.
Megatron and Soundwave getting it done, without any other Decepticons. If they came to Earth alone, they would have won in a week and a half. Unfortunately, they need an archaeologist... for reasons.
The competitors are a nice mix of Season One and Two race car Autobots.
Meanwhile, Augie’s car bears more than a passing resemblance to Racer X’s Shooting Star, foreshadowing that this is basically an episode of Speed Racer.
Ah, we learn why Megatron needed an archaeologist… to determine which portion of the valley is not solid rock. Maybe your acoustics expert, Soundwave, could have scanned for that. And then the human wouldn’t have escaped! Yet again, Earth makes you stupid. Instead of staying out of the way or figuring the Autobots would stay guarding what they came to guard at the race, Megatron sends the Stunticons to draw as much attention to Decepticon activity in the area as they can. Well, they needed to combine the two plots somehow.
Whoah. That Europe map is the best evidence yet that we’re on a different Earth.
Cool, we haven’t seen the Constructicons in a while. The new combiners all look so lame- a giant robot with the vehicles stuck on their limbs. Too bad all the Constructicons do in this one is dig.
Augie is driving Bluestreak (Hey! Casey Casem is still there!) Augie is doing that to show him what real driving is. Rude, much?
At the end of the race, Bumblebee (a VW
Beetle) ties for second with Tracks (A Corvette) just shy of Bluestreak (A Nissan
Fairlady Turbo Z, which I forgot to mention on his brief Season One appearance). Bee is a Camaro at heart.
Ah, Megatron found this week’s MacGuffin. A Cybertronian weather control machine, or more accurately, a Cybertronian weather out of control machine. Two questions:
1) Just how my many Cybertronian ships crashed on Earth? Because they’re everywhere.
2) Why didn’t they just steal Cobra’s. (More on that in a couple of weeks.)
They really didn’t have to be true to the toys when they’re that poorly made. These Decepticon cars go from robot form to standing on their rear bumper.
“Stunticons Transform and fall over!”
Dang! Bumblebee just drove up Megatron,
hit him in the face, stole the MacGuffin and used it against him. Later he rides
up a tornado to shoot it out of the sky and save the Earth.
Badassatron indeed.
This was supposed to be the Cybertronian AIDS analogy.
Astrotrain bumps an asteroid, hey I’m sure it’s not important.
There is a big Autobot symbol on a planet. This may be the shift from organic to robotic life on a majority of worlds we start really seeing in the movie.
Scientist Starscream is the only one who recognized and can use the communication device. It’s nice when they remember back story even when they ignore it most of the time.
Why is the planet’s “we are all dying” message in rhyme. Is this where Wheelie is from? (I’m getting ahead of myself again.)
Megatron- “The Autobots will be
destroyed by a weapon they created.” Isn’t that what you always do Megatron?
The space rust starts- “Perhaps you are made of shoddy materials Megatron?” Gotta love Starscream.
Corostop prevents all rust. The Autobots initial thought is to use this thing we can never let the Decepticons have to protect national monuments. The first being the Statue of Liberty which is made of copper. Because they’re morons.
Mirage! Haven’t seen you in a while. (HA HA, 'cause he turns invisible. I am hilarious.) Pity he didn’t do anything.
That news lady is the Baroness. Why must they tease me so?
Blitzwing gets HUGE to carry Perceptor. Do they just decide what size they are when they transform? Could Optimus turn into a toy truck?
Ah, Megatron found this week’s MacGuffin. A Cybertronian weather control machine, or more accurately, a Cybertronian weather out of control machine. Two questions:
1) Just how my many Cybertronian ships crashed on Earth? Because they’re everywhere.
2) Why didn’t they just steal Cobra’s. (More on that in a couple of weeks.)
They really didn’t have to be true to the toys when they’re that poorly made. These Decepticon cars go from robot form to standing on their rear bumper.
“Stunticons Transform and fall over!”
Badassatron indeed.
Cosmic Rust
Astrotrain bumps an asteroid, hey I’m sure it’s not important.
There is a big Autobot symbol on a planet. This may be the shift from organic to robotic life on a majority of worlds we start really seeing in the movie.
Scientist Starscream is the only one who recognized and can use the communication device. It’s nice when they remember back story even when they ignore it most of the time.
Why is the planet’s “we are all dying” message in rhyme. Is this where Wheelie is from? (I’m getting ahead of myself again.)
The space rust starts- “Perhaps you are made of shoddy materials Megatron?” Gotta love Starscream.
Corostop prevents all rust. The Autobots initial thought is to use this thing we can never let the Decepticons have to protect national monuments. The first being the Statue of Liberty which is made of copper. Because they’re morons.
Mirage! Haven’t seen you in a while. (HA HA, 'cause he turns invisible. I am hilarious.) Pity he didn’t do anything.
That news lady is the Baroness. Why must they tease me so?
Blitzwing gets HUGE to carry Perceptor. Do they just decide what size they are when they transform? Could Optimus turn into a toy truck?
Gasp! Megatron is very rusty! I would be stunned if he hadn’t been hiding in shadows since they came home… and it wasn’t the name of the episode. Still… GASP!
I see. He’s caught a metallic disease. (Whatever.) Because the asteroid he shot infected him. And the weapon he stole accelerated it. *Nelson Voice* “Ha ha.”
Ooh his hand fell off. This is more like leprosy.
Megatron with Corostop is now EXTRA shiny. Sparkly!.
He’s using Perceptor to focus sunlight
like a magnifying glass and light a fuse. There has to be a less complicated
way to infect other Autobots, Megatron.
Holy crap ALL the Autobots. Woo hoo! ROLL OUT!!!!
However, Optimus brought everyone there and then
goes to Perceptor alone.
Perceptor has the rust disease. Prime will save him by hand anyway, because he’s noble. (Yes, and a moron.).
Fortunately, Wheeljack has finally learned to run Teletran-One.
Sadly, that all but confirms Chip died. RIP, My man.
Going back to that whole planet that died from rust. Another dark one for a weekday afternoon.
The matter duplicator! Another in the seemingly unending parade of Wheeljack’s inventions that don’t work.
Megatron showed up and could just blow them up. But earth makes you stupid, so he’ll just use the inexplicably bug shaped weapon to accelerate the rust.
Yay! Perceptor fixed Wheeljack’s matter duplicator thingy. No wonder they brought him on board.
These new lame combiners are constant, just popping together, anime style. Where’s Devastator when you need him?
The Stunticons fly away at the end… making me ponder: why did they have to steal a boat twice in this story?
I see. He’s caught a metallic disease. (Whatever.) Because the asteroid he shot infected him. And the weapon he stole accelerated it. *Nelson Voice* “Ha ha.”
Megatron with Corostop is now EXTRA shiny. Sparkly!.
Holy crap ALL the Autobots. Woo hoo! ROLL OUT!!!!
Perceptor has the rust disease. Prime will save him by hand anyway, because he’s noble. (Yes, and a moron.).
Fortunately, Wheeljack has finally learned to run Teletran-One.
Sadly, that all but confirms Chip died. RIP, My man.
Going back to that whole planet that died from rust. Another dark one for a weekday afternoon.
The matter duplicator! Another in the seemingly unending parade of Wheeljack’s inventions that don’t work.
Megatron showed up and could just blow them up. But earth makes you stupid, so he’ll just use the inexplicably bug shaped weapon to accelerate the rust.
Yay! Perceptor fixed Wheeljack’s matter duplicator thingy. No wonder they brought him on board.
These new lame combiners are constant, just popping together, anime style. Where’s Devastator when you need him?
The Stunticons fly away at the end… making me ponder: why did they have to steal a boat twice in this story?
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