Warning
This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”
This is not a post for children. Kids, take a hike.
This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language. Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.
Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.
End of Warning.
Since this year's Eleventh George Awards for Profanity in Film have kicked off with two older horror comedy films I forgot to mention in the previous decade of these awards, here's a older horror comedy from the decade before the previous one..
Today features a salute to 1979's Love at First Bite. However, its not for the usual reason I enjoy this film, which is, "The world would be a better place with more Arte Johnson in it."
Dracula works better than any other monster in horror comedies. It is probably because his aristocratic bearing makes him the perfect straight man when played true to the character. George Hamilton was a fantastic selection in this role. While others were going over the top or off the rails, he played it close to the text, but in a modern setting.
It is because of this he pulls off one of the most ridiculous lines in the film and makes it work as an serious and sultry compliment when talking to Cindy (Susan St. James) as the sun is threatening to rise:
Dracula- "It
is late. I must go."
Cindy- "Wait
a minute.
With you,
never a quickie.
Always...
a longie."
However, the true George Award Moment in the film goes to Isabel Sandford. We had already seen her on screen husband Sherman Helmsly be part of the over the top and off the rails Reverend Mike earlier in the film when Dracula wakes up confused during someone else's funeral. (There's that "perfect straight man" notion in action.)
However, for the purest heights of "over the top and off the rails" behavior, one must reference Richard Benjamin (Director of Multiple George Award Winner My Favorite Year) and Dick (Snow Miser, Lorenzo Saint Dubois, "Everything's
gonna be all right, Mama. Your baby's coming to get ya.") Shawn as Doctor Jeffrey Rosenberg (Van Helsing) and Lieutenant Ferguson.
Their erratic behavior leads to the award winning moment by Sanford as Judge Thomas:
We
have reason to believe this is the work of a vampire."
Judge- *flat* "A
vampire."
Ferguson- *doubting
himself*" So
we can grab him while he's still sleeping in his coffin."
Judge- "I
cannot believe what I'm hearing."
Rosenberg- "Your
Honor, let me shed some light on this."
Didn't
you see Roots?"
Ferguson- "I
loved Roots. Ben Vereen is a terrific dancer."
Judge- "You
better believe it!
And
our people have come a long way...
for
you to be coming in here with
that voodoo scary Dracula shit.
Now
I want you to haul ass out
of my courtroom...
before
I really get mean!"
Next week the George Awards will shift back to the Eighties and acknowledge more moments I've missed.
This time, ones in Rutger Haur films.
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