Thursday, June 20, 2024

George 11- ...Dutch Elm disease, the Contraction of the Universe, Paper Cuts...


This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”
This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.
This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.
Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.
End of Warning.

It's time for a frequent George Awards occurrence in these Eleventh Awards for Profanity in Film. The "Hey I completely forgot about things in a film I've referenced previously" moment.

Rutger Haur has always had an important part in the George Awards as well as our family movie nights. 
In fact one of his films featured in a movie list that not only predates the awards, but the blog itself.

The ending of his film (and Gene Simmons's head) Wanted Dead or Alive (1985) was an inaugural George Award and an inspiration for this goofy undertaking.

That moment was etched in my young mind, and was strong enough that it caused me to forget another fantastically George Award worthy moment, which a high-def upgrade for this movie reminded me of.

The key to this is the "surprise" factor that was initially an important part of this undertaking, but may have fallen off the radar a bit as I needed more and more material each year.

Robert Guillaume was a fantastic actor (and an amazing Mandrill) but was also incredibly personable and likeable.
He appeared as Philmore Walker, the only member of the government agency folks also chasing Simmons that was on Bounty Hunter Nick Randall's (Haur) side.

While obviously a tough, experienced and talented agent, Guillaume had his usual disarming smile and personable manner. 

Therefore when he found out Nick was being used as bait with minimal protection in the investigation that he was supposed to be leading, the response from Walker, who maintained a great deal resemblance to his Benson role was both startling and hilarious.

"Next time you're going to fuck me...
buy me dinner first!"

As bonus, another Eighties violent Haur family favorite film where he's named Nick has recently gotten a high definition upgrade in our home..
And, let's be honest, those media changes are responsible for jarring my memory to lead to many of the George Awards over the years.

Up until the Netflix (now MCU) series, I thought 1989's Blind Fury would be the best live action Daredevil I'd ever get. 

Granted, that's because my young self had never heard of the massively popular Zatochi series, the Japanese tales of a blind samurai that spawned twenty-six movies before this American adaptation.

Perhaps the fact that, much like many of our family favorites, Blind Fury tanked at the box office taking with the initial plans of any follow up films is the reason for my former lack of knowledge.

Haur was chased by the usual mooks for an Eighties action film, working for the usual rich, amoral, jerky old white guy. (Probably should have learned more from those goofy old films, huh?)

Two of them, who would have more career progress elsewhere, played the semi-useless redneck Pike brothers. Rick Overton went on to MANY other film roles, along with stand up and writing. Nick Cassavetes also went on to multiple acting and writing roles, along with directing.

It's likely that their skill led to their efforts to kill innocent people to be as entertaining as they were.

Their highlight was a swear contraction, which I am always supportive of.

When the blind swordsman trapped them in a very cramped elevator along with NFL Center Jay Pennison and professional wrestler Tiger Chung Lee, their reaction was an exercise in amazing timing.

*in sequence*
Pike Brother One- "Shit!"
Pike Brother Two- "Fuck!"
*a pause of exactly the proper length*
Both Brothers - "SHITFUCK!"

That's all for this year's George Awards for movie profanity.

Come back next week as the Dana Awards for TV Profanity  return and salute an amazing Neil Gaiman adaptation.

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