Monday, September 26, 2016

Up the Lake: Childhood Fair Years- Part 3

The game in question was trout fishing.  

There was a shallow swimming pool type area heavily overstocked with heavily overfed trout.  Snagging was not allowed, and none of the fish being kept in the piscine concentration camp ever looked interested in eating anything.  The tackle and bait supplied probably didn’t help matters.  Fishing poles were given out, but they were reelless. At the end of the tied on string was a small hook featuring an eraser sized piece of either raw calamari…or dry caulking.

The sum total of our fish winnings was far less than the number of Rambo knives we took home.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Bondlets: Tomorrow Never Dies



A pre announced snow day allowed the viewing of another James Bond adventure when God intended them to be seen, on a Sunday evening.

Brosnan’s second portrayal was why we started watching the franchise in the first place.  Given that it is his best outing, that shouldn’t be too surprising.

We were flipping by one of the near infinite Bond film marathons on cable and the handcuffed motorcycle chase scene caught my daughter’s eye.

The fact that it is an amazing stunt scene filled with practical effects is to be expected from these movies.  What pushed it over the edge to generate her interest is something excessively rare for a Bond film:

The only reason the scene works, is that Bond and Wai-Lin are shown to be equals. 

This highly unusual state for a female character dealing with Mr. Bond was a key area of appeal.  It was also why she was more upset than usual when upon the viewing of the whole picture in sequence with the other films. When Michelle Yeoh’s Chinese super-agent finally succumbed to Jamesbonding at the end:
“And…there it is.  She was awesome the whole time and then- mwah…bleah.”

The only kiss she was more upset with in any of these movies was in this one as well:
The “dead kiss” with Paris, because…”ew.”

That one kind of upset me as well.  Not for the same reason, as it was a powerful, character driven, quiet emotional scene in the middle of all the chaos that worked excellently.  My issue was having Teri Hatcher as a Bond girl, and wasting her like that.  Can she come back as her own twin, Marseille McKenna or something?

My daughter also had fewer complaints about the title sequence this time around because:
“The x-ray images make ‘naked watch’ harder.”

The action kept her and my wife interested throughout, leading to both of them laughing and cheering at the violence.

That’s my girls!

She though Elliot Carver was whiny and “Anakin like” sometimes, yelling, “Who cares?” after one of his monologues.  The whole concept that he was manipulating the world into the brink of war and killing a great many people only for broadcasting rights offended her sensibilities a great deal.

She also found his weird little Kung Fu demonstration at Wai Lin, “Disturbing.”

However, none of this ever took her out of the film. She viewed him as a threat and a worthy opponent to 007.

Because callin up Jonathan Pryce when you need a villain is always rewarding for everyone involved.

She did continue to laugh at Brosnan’s sounding like a “leprechaun.”

However, this time around she was more accepting of Joe Don Baker’s Wade as “Felix’s replacement.”

Though, she had some issues with his briefing before the HALO jump detailing the multiple ways it could kill James.
“Well, that’s nice and not creepy at all.”

Other interesting observations:

After he breaks free of Wai Lin handcuffing him to the pipe, (which caused her to proclaim one of many times, “She’s awesome!”) my daughter pointed out how out of place he looked.
I asked, “Because he’s not Chinese?”
She replied,
“No, because he’s all wet.”

My wife and daughter both called the remote controlled BMW crashing into the rental car place.

OK, maybe these things do follow patterns, but we all still laughed.

Finally, my daughter was truly upset with the upgrade of James Bond’s standard sidearm.

It had nothing to do with tradition, concealment, or knowledge of handguns.

It was simply that with the Walther P99, she was unable to make the
“Pee Pee Gun” jokes she made about the Walther PPK.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Up the Lake: Childhood Fair Years- Part 2

Aside from crowding together to laugh at each other at that old time picture booth, once we hit our teen years, our folks let us wander the Fair on our own with set check in and return times and locations. Note to modern parents: we pulled this off successfully year after year without the use of cell phones.

Yes, Up the Lake people do have a limited form of telepathy.

Also known as: “Fear of the wrath of a worried and angered Italian Mother after a missed check in.”

Monday, September 12, 2016

Up the Lake: Childhood Fair Years- Part 1

(With an update added today! Vocal Trash returning next year! YAY!)
Heading up to the Duchess County Fair was an annual excursion from Up the Lake for an insanely large number of us (or a number of us large insane people) during a great many years in my youth. I’m not sure how it began, but one thing is for certain:

Our parents were far better at getting children suffering from Up the Lake levels of exhaustion out of bed in the wee hours of the morning than we ever were. 

Thursday, September 8, 2016

A Mix Up of My Fandoms I Never Imagined

Happy 50th Anniversary Star Trek!!!

Unfortunately, I got overexcited and watched them alone last year and wrote them all up instead of stretching them out...

And I started watching them again, with my family this time, but haven't gotten far enough through them to start posting my daughter's reactions.

So here's stuff about two other franchises:

Monday, September 5, 2016

Up the Lake: Transitional Fair Days Part 2

When everyone tried to go through the “Haunted Pirate” dark ride, Kim’s car started shooting sparks and flames out the back like an old zip cord motorcycle.  Lauren and Ashley screamed (a lot) and told Kim to move her hair.
Then Lauren turned to me, wisely stationed on the ground, and shrieked, “I survived the friggin’ Wheel of Death, now I’m gonna die in this crappy haunted house.”

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Ash Vs. Evil Dead Season One- Groovy!

Since the first season is now available on Blu-Ray instead of airing on a network I wasn’t prepared to subscribe to for only a ten episode half hour series, I can acknowledge the existence of something I was looking forward to for quite a while.  

Wow…that introduction sucked.