Transformers Rewatch Original Season 3G

The Quintesson Journal

This makes so much more sense coming after the last one in the right order than when they aired them in reverse when I was a kid.We find two planets at war forever. This is much more a Doctor Who or Star Trek plot, but with robot people. 

Spike in his ambassador role! Woo! I know I busted on the humans in the other seasons, but I do miss them.
Oh, there’s the Journal, Predaking found it. Good thing it wasn’t anyone useful. He reports his find to Cyclonus. Have we taken Galvatron out of the loop, Decepticons?

Perceptor found its signal too and told Sky Lynx. Did kids really like the Microscope that much? Sky Lynx could have found it on his own. 

They send Blaster and his cassettes along.

Some clueless Marketing guy- “Kids love microscopes and radios!” 

Why is that humanoid cassette Australian?
Fun, a killer plants planet. The fight starts the Journal playback, because Quintessons need light touch controls with their skinny tentacles, I guess. It shows plans projects and commercial ventures. The ultimate evil of the franchise are capitalists. What. A. Surprise.
Sky Lynx and Predaking is a weird rivalry.

A warp gate. What? Oh, the Quintessons have them. OK. Maybe I would have known that if they used them in any other episode. 

At least the Quintesson jails have improved. The prisoners can’t just run into the energy bars and short them out. Luckily, Sharkticons are EXTRA morons, and one is easily fooled. The fact that the Quintessons are also morons and jailed the Autobots with their guns helped considerably.
Oh! The little guy is Outback! He’s the same size as the cassette Autobots. I got confused because they stuck him in with cassettes.
Hey Galvatron! You weren’t with that Decepticon group a minute ago. Man, Galvatron hits his own guys more than Autobots.
Oh yeah, the peace talks. I forgot about those. Peace talks with a lot of punching. Amazing job there, Spike.

Quintessons are selling an ultimate weapon, and have planet affecting plans. So, they are evil capitalists who pollute and drain resources purely for profit. How is the group the galaxy knows is evil being capitalists a secret? And they are selling to both sides of this war. Gasp!
Um… Sky Lynx just morphed from cat to shuttle, which are his two separable sections. How does that work, exactly? He said, ignoring all the Omega Supreme rocket arms and Optimus Prime trailer weirdness from past seasons.
Ultra Magnus is at the conference too. ‘Cause we can’t let Hot Rod do ANYTHING on his own. Forget not caring, it’s like the writers hated the new Autobot leader.

Are the warring factions robots because they have to hit each other?
Warp gates are big metal things. How do they just appear? Through warps I guess, but then why do they need the gate part? I feel like I’m overthinking this.
Yeah! Take charge of the peace conference, Rodimus!

Oh, they’re shooting each other now. Nice job. The writers did hate him. 

Wait, the factions have learned the Quintessons manipulated them both. If this works to stop the war, it IS a fantasy. Womp-womp, it is.
The Quintessons, however will continue to deliver the ultimate weapons the hard way. Rodimus Prime rides impressively on top of Sky Lynx to save two planets… Along with Ultra Magnus of course. Give my boy his moments!

Oh good, the two worlds still hate each other, we have some reality in our space robot war show. I guess it is easier for them not to fight living on different planets.
Ultra Magnus- “Sad, all those centuries of war.” Dude, you guys have had a war for NINE MILLION AND TWENTY ONE YEARS and counting. Maybe, shut up.
OOH. a new LORE thing on Metroplex! Cool. He has three little dudes in him. That’s who those guys with no introductions I didn’t recognize were. Bits on Trypticon too. Now, this is a rivalry that makes sense.

Only Human

The only full on cartoon based cross over we got between the two shows that aired back to back for years… What a weird choice.
Humans have flying cars in 2006, but everything else looks the same, except the stupid clothes. That’s not far off.
Springer, who I feel the need to point out was in his helicopter mode not his car mode, just caught a falling guy by flying under him. The phrase, “Julienned” springs to mind.
The biker gang without bikes are stealing “Newtronium,” as opposed to “Oldtronium?” Rodimus picks up a canister, and a thug shoots it giving him a huge explosion in the face. Well done. Writers, you are so mean.

The thug boss is Mr. Trask. That is always an evil name. (Looking at you X-men and Dark Shadows.) He’s a super rich guy with a space station. More reality.
Let’s meet Old Snake. It’s COBRA COMMANDER!!!!! He hisses again, just in case. He also remembers the technology for Synthoids. Nice call back to his show. The floppy hat really makes his ensemble shine. His monocle over the mask needs to go, however.

Correction, the bad rich guy’s name is Trath.
It's a story for the main Season Three gang, Ultra Magnus, Hot Rod, Arcee and Springer. I guess Kup was too old to appeal to kids, and Blurr annoyed even the production crew.
The villain’s moll, Michelle with heterochromia, seems reticent about this plan.
My first thought was, if they could catch the Autobots to transfer their minds, why not just melt them down without the extra transfer step. But Old Snake knows what’s up. He’s the only one who thought of using the now mindless Transformer bodies for the criminal gang. That’s why he’s the Commander!

A human hand out of the dumpster- GASP! Was that convincing? Sorry, this one was really hard to forget.
Naturally, the four Autobots turned human are their relative ages, AND find clothes that match their robot colors. 

They are chatting about what happened for an extended time. This is a lot of exposition for an obvious change.
Correction again, his name is Drath. The bad guys mumble.
Correction again, again, Old Snake is not wearing a monocle, it’s a weird reflection on his face.
Rodimus takes the lead and the most risks as a human. Can we do that more for him guys? Oh crap! He got shot as a human! I didn’t think they could do that on this show. Then again, this episode has more humans than the whole season combined.
Michelle helps him in because she apparently has the hots for Rodimus. That’s not weird at all.
The Autobots’ bodies will now be seen working with criminals. I guess it’s time for the clueless people of Earth to throw the good guys off planet again.
Springer cons the con men and joins up because their employment vetting process is non-existent. 

Springer is now driving… himself. Does Cybertron have therapy? I feel this will lead to a need.

Meanwhile, Magnus and Arcee are terrified by… themselves. They’ll all need Soooo much therapy.

Ultra Magnus threatens to blow up their bodies, himself, the thugs and probably about a block and a half with what’s in that warehouse. He’s still got big brass bearings as a human.
Further correction- Michelle does not have heterochromia, she was poorly colored previously. (Sorry, sometimes we do have to note the art errors.)

I see, Michelle is making her guest breakfast. Nothing weird about that. And a Woo-Hoo to you Rodimus.

Arcee reaches Metroplex and explains what happened. The Guards decide she’s a random insane woman. Guys, this is not the weirdest crap you’ve seen by a long shot. Then again, since Autobot security is a giant sieve, knowing how to get in doesn’t mean much.

Oh, sorry Rodimus, Michelle set you up. It’s probably for the best.

Bad guy what’s his name is sending the four captured Autobot bodies into Metroplex loaded with bombs. 

Springer kicks the thug out of… himself (therapy therapy therapy) and takes off. Guess you should have listened to the suspicious guy, thug who likely just plummeted about twenty feet to the pavement. I’m sure he’s fine.

Human Hot Rod breaks free. Seriously, this is the most successful solo combat he’s had since The Movie.
Springer’s plan to save the day: attack Metroplex himself to make the city Transform into battle mode. I feel there were better ways to do that. 

Great, now Metroplex blew the crap out of their robot bodies. They’re going to be sore if they get back.
Oh of course Perceptor fixed them. We need him and Blaster (seen inside Metroplex) in nearly every episode.
YES! CO-BRAAAAAAA!!!!! We love you, Chris Latta.

This could have been a pilot with the Old Snake calling up Zarana or Zanya to restart the Dreadnoks with the thugs. Then recruit the better ones for a new Cobra army. Marissa Fairborne could have kicked off a future version G.I. Joe. Alas.
No LORE, as it should be. They needed to spend as much time as possible for the story on this crazy thing.

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