Transformers Rewatch Original Season 3A

Season Three Part One- The menu is old, wonky CGI with a slight quality improvement of Rodimus Prime. At least he gets some respect here. This season drops a lot of LORE and more importantly, also a lot of crazy. Therefore there will be more thoughts (and pictures for the extra crazy ones) per episode. This happens every time I go through a set of films or TV series. Part of it is them getting weirder as they need new ideas. I expect an equally large part is managing the ever increasing number of running gags and personal theories I cannot help interjecting.
 

Five Faces of Darkness 1-5

The “Five Faces of Darkness” was MY movie. In fact, I think I saw the actual movie way after seeing this mini-series, but this one started with a recap of the theatrical release. Plus, Lee told me the entire plot. That’s probably why I’m always surprised there’s less LORE in the movie than there is.
It is a year later, the farther future of 2006. Apologies again for not living up to your standards, Hasbro.
The Third Season theme is catchier, but still nowhere near the movie. Once again, the opening credits spoil the reveal of the largest Cybertronians this season, which don’t show up for a while. Sad.
The recap of the film is only about twenty seconds long. Lee’s story telling must have been incredibly thorough.
The adventure starts with the battered Decepticons on “Char.” You know when that’s the planet’s name, things are rough. 

Beginning with the Constructicons and Astrotrain after the film is appropriate. 

Woo! Devastator. 

Oh. Menasor is here as well. That’s a shame.

Hey, the Insecticons are there too. Told you the Sweeps were made of their clones.
Speaking of the Sweeps here they are, with Cyclonus (Roger C. Carmel doing a rough and nasty Harry Mudd voice.) He’s so cool.
On Megatron and Galvatron- a Decepticon settles the debate right off the bat, “Well, they were the same guy.”
Whoah, all kinds of organic aliens from many worlds showing up at the “Space Olympics.” Humans are still clearly tiny compared to most aliens, robot or otherwise.
Bumblebee is there, and Warpath of all people to survive from Season Two. Why highlight the crappy and tiny toys again? (To move them off the shelves, no doubt.)
Meanwhile, the “killing Season One characters apologies” kick off with putting Jazz in the Olympics.

Rodimus sends Blurr and Wheelie on the IMPORTANT MISSION to get the Transformation Cog for Metroplex! Was Daniel sick? Wait… Autobot City IS Metroplex? Just because his Transformation Cog was damaged, they not only had to transform him manually, but he also appeared non-sentient. Sparks come into play WAY later than I remembered. (In the future, I still get ahead of myself.)
The rest of the new gang from the film are on the big platform with Rodimus Prime. They are the key highlighted characters and will be the ones doing the most stuff this season.
CARLY!!!! And the whole family! In their groovy, spacey, Speed Racer-esque outfits. Spike has downsized to a human sized gun, however. He kicked more butt as a fifteen year old.

I feel like they should have made a bigger deal about Springer being the first ever Autobot Triple Changer in the film or here… or anywhere, really.
Cyclonus waited an ENTIRE YEAR to check Unicron’s head to find out where Galvatron ended up. Maybe they didn’t know there was a copy of Transformers The Movie playing in the theater inside his noggin. Galvatron was in lava… again. (Nice call back to the end of Season One.)

Meanwhile, Autobots are checking for Decepticons on Earth in the Middle Eastern nation of “Carbomya.” Y’know, in case the other Middle Eastern representations weren’t racist enough. Farewell Casey Kasem, you’ll be missed.

The hunt is by Blaster and… who the heck is the tiny Australian guy? Holy crap! Whoever he is, his little hand grenade blew up the ENTIRE HORIZON. [Later check- He’s “Outback.” Yet another crappy little toy of a tough guy that turns into a Jeep. Too bad they didn’t just let Brawn survive.]
Perceptor is still the smartest Autobot. I’ve never understood why Perceptor and Blaster got so much screen time. They premiered in Season Two, showed up constantly, and featured in the film as well as Season Three. Meanwhile, most of the rest of the non-combiners from Season Two kinda faded away.
Hey, why doesn’t Rodimus recognize a Sharkticon? He fought a pool full of them a year ago. Maybe the Matrix took some memories away with the upgrade.

With all the changes, I feel like the writers realized the coolest Season Two episodes were either LORE or crazy space stuff. Doubling down on both was a smart move.
Perceptor may have the most “book smarts,” but Arcee is CLEARLY the most practically smart one.
Oh geeze! The Combaticons are still here too. Please stop focusing on selling the sets.
Rumble gives a rousing speech to the Decepticons! Why isn’t Soundwave leading them?
Cyclonus shows up, pumps up the crowd, and asks the destitute to give Energon (which, can be food, drink and money) to help their leader. Sound familiar? Remember, these are the evil ones.
There’s no “next time” at the end, but the recap of the previous episode is longer than the recap of the whole movie. Maybe they needed a project planner.
The “powerless” Decepticons can still shrug off blasts from Rodimus AND Grimlock. They really are tougher.
Quintessons! There’s more LORE than the movie, but it’s still trickling out.
Spike called them “Transformers.” I think that’s the first time that’s happened in story. Pretty cool.
The ship Springer stole looks a lot like a Red Lectroid ship. We need a Transformers/ Buckaroo Banzai crossover.
Rodimus Prime dies in episode two. Maybe that’s why everyone hated him. So much for the Power Of A Prime. The Decepticons didn’t even shoot him, just beat on him a bit. Wait, he’s not dead. Grimlock got stupider, and yet he is only one who noticed Matrix didn’t come out of Rodimus. He was busy having a trippy and LORE hinting Vision Quest of the mind. (Which was mostly, “HEY REMEMBER THAT STUFF THAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE!?”)
Good thing the Quintessons captured Spike as well. He’s still taking the lead. I guess the Sharkticon revolution failed. There is absolutely no change on their planet from a year ago.

Decepticon update- Galvatron has been in the lava bath for a year. He’s basically become the Golgafrincham Ark B Captain. And I gotta say, having the bad guy leader be absolutely off his rocker did change the dynamic, especially when he can blow up a planet. 

I also gotta say, the new Autobot and Decepticon designs, with no connection to contemporary vehicles, are way cool,
Rescue from the Quintessons time. Ooh. The Autobots have an assault force!
Spike- “What crime did the Autobots commit?” WOO! LORE TIME!!  Or not… It’s in a later episode I guess because the rescue has arrived. Why is Arcee posing all sexy on Springer.  It makes me have weird feelings. Oh. The strike team is only the Aerialbots?  I feel betrayed.

The Autobots have multiple spaceships. R.I.P. Omega Supreme. Speaking of blowing up, the Quintessons are so focused on destroying the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, they have blown up their ENTIRE home planet. That seems harsh. I suspect LORE related reasons. The Autobot ship also blew up. That design flaw is a stubborn one.
The Earth has a space platform and there are warp gates for Galactic Access. Is that Space Bridge technology? Hasbro, you gave us such high hopes for 2006.
With the ship destroyed, the Autobots drift through space having a chat, because the cold and vacuum don’t affect them. Oh yeah. Spike is with them. I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Since the Decepticons can fly, they’ve given up needing a ship and just tool around in open space now.
Galvatron’s giant orange arm cannon flies away when he starts to transform, then pops out of him in cannon form. I guess they decided, given its shape, having it shift position and grow would be bad.
Hi there random unknown Autobots in Autobot City!
It’s Captain Marissa Fairborne!!!!!!!!! Direct proof that Flint and Lady Jaye survive the G.I. Joe series, marry and have a child. Suck it Devil’s Due comics.
Decepticons are flying through Jupiter’s atmosphere… like ya do. Blurr and Wheelie, however, are falling. I’m sure they’ll be fine. Whoah! Wheelie just straight up killed a Sweep who spiraled down to the planet below. Galvatron’s revenge- blow up Jupiter’s atmosphere. Considering it’s a gas giant, I’m thinking that may be bad for the rest of the solar system.
Over with the other plot line- In case we thought Char was a dumb name: BEHOLD! The planet Goo.
Oh yeah. Blurr transforms into a spaceship. That’s how they’ll get away. He really is Devcon.

Back on Goo, a garbage scow just ripped loveable rascal, main character Springer to pieces.  Hey kids, have a nice afternoon! The Quintesson commenting on Rodimus trying to save him- “Impossible. You were never programmed for self-sacrifice “. Hmmm, that smells like some LORE.
The Combaticon and Stunticon individuals are getting more lines in this story than the whole Second Season. Octane, the new triple changer, (oil tanker truck and cargo plane) hanging out with the beaten Decepticons annoys me. He didn’t earn his place. Blitzwing is the only one who votes against following the Quintessons. He learned much from that football coach.
The background artists continue to rock. The spacey shots on other worlds have a gorgeous aesthetic. The giant, stupid looking, space aliens less so. 
Back to the battle on planet Goo. So much for aesthetics. Ooh, they did make Galvatron’s cannon shift and grow… Yeah don’t do that again. 

Y’know, after the attention of the movie, I thought the art errors might improve… but there are so many Autobots charging into battle as part of the Decepticon army.

Hey! Wreck-Gar! Woo! Rodimus can talk TV now. He must have paid attention to Kup after all.
There is lots of jumping around on the multiple plot lines. 

There are bug bats on Jupiter’s moon. How about that? Captain Marissa Faireborn has a jetpack, and a miniskirt in her space suit…and a null ray.

I’m not sure what’s funnier: The Quintessons gaslighting Galvatron about the existence of the Decepticon Matrix of Leadership… or him physically abusing them with abandon. 

Dang, Galvatron just blew up another planet. Cyclonus is clearly in command of the troops, but Scourge has kinda been blended in with the rest of the Sweeps.

Back with the good guys, the Junkions say this about Springer: Quote “We can bring him back.“ And then they do. Can we bring Ironhide here please? And Wheeljack, Ratchet, Brawn, and the rest?
Arcee welcomes Springer back to life. Ah,  Autobot Romance… ick, please stop.
Rodimus is brooding again, over having a near death experience letting him enter the Matrix. Therefore, he pulls that ONE wire. Twenty-one years later, they haven’t addressed that design flaw. Cool, all the past Primes are neat looking robots with facial hair, so we know they are wise.

GASP! Cybertron and the robots were built by the Quintessons. (I really thought that came out in the movie- confirming this was MY movie.) Speaking of confirming- “There were two product lines: military hardware and consumer goods.” No wonder the Autobots get creamed all the time. AAAH! The Quintesson cyborg-lizard thing just whipped a worker to death AFTER they mentioned them gaining sentience and emotions. Have a nice afternoon, kids! Gladiators! That will probably come into the LORE later, or maybe on another show entirely.
We learn the Autobots invented transforming cause they were getting snot beat out of them. Good plan. We also learn the Constructicons built Megatron. He fibbed A LOT in the first season.

There’s more than six of the green guys, matching up with his first army. At least they cared a little.
That will be a great popularity boost for Rodimus, ending the LORE with the image of OPTIMUS PRIME looming over him. Sigh.

Springer’s assessment of Rodimus risking himself for information is to call him a moron. Told you.
Back on Earth- That was vague, but I think the Decepticons picked a random city and turned it into Trypticon. (A battle platform that turns into a hugenormous Tyrannosaur Decepticon.) There goes the neighborhood!  Literally. "It just got up and walked away." 
Hey, Cosmos! I’m glad that goofy little dude is still around.
More back and forth, in space. Spike is nowhere to be seen after taking a shot that knocked down Rodimus and Ultra Magnus. I think he was vaporized. Sorry Carly.
Back on Earth, Powerglide is gonna stop Trypticon. This will go well.

That’s a weird mix of Autobots.  Bumblebee is there at least. Plus, there’s all the new little crap toys and few others. 

Oh, NOW Autobot City (Metroplex) can talk. Why didn’t you say anything in the movie when it would have helped?

Space- Sky Lynx appears outta nowhere to rescue Captain Faireborn and company. She asks- “What’s a Sky Lynx.”  You and me Marissa. What other reaction is there to a space shuttle that turns into a pterodactyl on a platform that turns into a big cat, both of which who are sentient, that can also merge into a single four footed pterodactyl.

Earth- Y’know, Trypticon looks like a giant Zoid. The Constructicons lament not being needed anymore with a city sized Decepticon stomping around. Yeah, I feel you guys- considering they threw most of the carefully developed story from the last four parts of this one into the toilet to introduce the new giant size toys.
Maybe it never got an alarm, but the Ark finally has a crapload of cannons. Too late, though. You don't really need an alarm when a 915 foot tall robot dinosaur is stomping towards you. Alas. RIP Teletran-One. (Told you Casey Kasem left.)
Cybertron- Hey its “Armada.” (He said trying to ignore the fact that they screwed up and drew two of Cyclonus into the shot.) 

Whoah- Ultra Magnus just blew a Sweep to bits. They really followed the movie violence levels this season.
Hmm… There’s a switch on Cybertron (which no one has found over the last nine million and twenty-one years?) that turns off all Transformers. That is also harsh.

Jupiter- The Predacons (five orange animal Decepticons who merge into Predaking. Yes, they seem to have given up on name creativity.) continue the trend of showing up out of nowhere.
Question I have never figured out: Is Sky Lynx one or two personalities? If one what happens when he splits? If two, what happens when he combines? It’s less clear than the standard combiners where the individuals shut down when linked together.
Predaking has a toe wind machine. How about that?
Earth- Laserbeak was in Trypticon. No sign of Soundwave but given the bird's past performance that tracks. Oh, I’m wrong. Soundwave is there. Looks like a bunch of the old Decepticons snuck onto Earth with the Constructicons. Might want to work on those planetary alarm systems, guys.
Cybertron- Oh good, there’s Spike. 

After Galvatron doesn’t believe him about the Cybertron “off switch,” Blitzwing goes right to the Autobots. He really learned from that coach.

Earth- Metroplex still needs someone else to pull a lever to transform. The really big Transformer reveals would be awesome If not spoiled by the opening credits and commercial bumpers. Metroplex throws Trypticon into the ocean, completely shorting him out. I guess they didn’t fix that design flaw either.

Cybertron- Galvatron lets the switch be flipped and just turned off everyone… by encasing then all in plastic wrap. Spike has returned to using a gun bigger than himself for the win!

Frank Welker is really amazing, besides doing a huge variation of voices and other sounds that are vastly different, he does stuff like the subtle difference between Megatron and Galvatron that reveals the new version is crazy.
Blitzwing is labeled a traitor! I hope they don’t value toy plugging over logical plot development and follow up on this. (alas.)

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