George Awards- "This Is A Wonderful Fairy Tale They Have Going Here, But It's Not For Me"

 

Warning

This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.

This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”

This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.
Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.
End of Warning.

While last week's entry in the George Awards for profanity in film was a Disney owned property, the next award this year, is an actual Disney Fairy Tale.

Those who believe a George Award for a Disney Classic Animated Film is an anomaly, have clearly not been paying attention.

I encountered most of the classic films of Disney's animated library like the rest of my generation did, via theatrical rereleases in the Seventies and Eighties. At that time the projected home release date of their brilliant cartoon films was listed (along with Star Wars) as "NEVER!"

I had already been terrified by the Wicked Queen at the age of five for Snow White's 1975 rerelease.

Heck, I was scared by her at the age of two a couple years earlier on the first of MANY family Disney World trips, where my parents thought the Snow White ride (Before it was named "Scary Adventures" to warn people) would "Calm me down" after the Haunted Mansion. No wonder I passed out as soon as we got on Peter Pan afterwards and I started breathing again. This is why I still get scared shitless by her whenever we cross paths with the Queen in the Parks.

At the ripe old age of nine, I attended the 1979 release of Sleeping Beauty. 

There is a reason that Maleficent sits at the leadership and most feared position of all the Disney Villain gatherings. 

Maleficent is, by far,  the coolest and most powerful of the Villain gang. (With the possible exception of Tchernabog... who is basically Satan himself. An argument could be made for the Horned King, by massive Disney Nerds like myself. However,  I think while he had potential to reach her level, he didn't achieve it.)

Back to nine year old me, sitting in a dark theater , nearly pissing myself while watching the Mistress of All Evil terrify an entire kingdom while looking classy and fabulous the whole time.

As if being a horrifyingly powerful evil fairy with her own castle and horde wasn't enough she dropped this bombshell 

"Now shall you deal with ME, O Prince,

and all the powers of Hell!"

While turning into A FUCKING DRAGON!!!

Bonus points for the Greek translation being a shit-ton scarier-

"Now I'll show you who I am, Prince! 

I am HELL ITSELF!" 

Maleficent, you have certainly earned this George Award. I apologize for somehow missing you on the original "Hell" list. 

That's someone you NEVER want to leave out when sending invitations.

Come back next week for this year's Dana Award for Profanity in Television.