Dana Awards- The Show Is Over, But Ghostbeaters Never Die!

 Warning

This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.

This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”

This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.
Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.
End of Warning.

This year's  George Awards for profanity in film finished up last week, meaning it is time for the annual(ish) Dana Award for Profanity In Television. 

A series that deserved WAY more than the single season we got was the outstanding Dead Boy Detectives.  In a rare case - the show pulled off having a full story each episode, AND an overall arc, both of which were interesting.

Besides plot, characters, emotions, settings and a zillion other ways it was awesome, it also contained awesome uses of swearing. However, this was not spread evenly through the characters as the production team knew what they were doing, and made very individual based decisions, setting up profanity tiers.

Niko (Yuyu Kitamura) was the most innocent character by far, and didn't use that sort of language. The closest she comes is helping Edwin get in touch with modern times, and himself after meeting Monty.

"You know boys can like boys right? 

I have a lot of manga about it. It's very sweet... and explicit"

Speaking of Monty (Joshua Colley), the tragic and transformed Crow falls even further into this category, not fully understanding most of what happens to him.

The boys' psychic ally, Crystal Palace has a powerfully sharp tongue, and great execution. However, the character's self doubt and good heart which she tries to hide comes out in her profanities often sounding a little forced, or put on like a shield, in one of many subtle but excellent displays of acting in the show:

"He's still a stalker. Still an asshole.

But I am gonna get my memories back."

The ghostly boys themselves, Edwin (George Rextrew) and Charles (Jayden Revri), are on the next level with excellent swearing. They are however, nicely separated, where George, who died in 1916, speaks like he learned the modern swears more recently, while Charles has the casual use of filth of an Eighties teen. (Hello!) This was demonstrated excellently when Charles entered Hell itself to rescue Edwin.

Edwin- “I cannot believe you would risk your entire existence coming down to this operatic horror show for me! That is so fucking stupid it’s unbelievable!”

Charles's reply was one of the emotionally strongest moments in the show: 

"Sorry, no version of this where I didn't come get you. Is there?"

Charles's more emotionally reactive, explosions of swear words are exemplified when the abusive ghost father brings up too many memories of his own life:

"I'm sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason.

Tried it your way and it did nothing.

Sod it.

Let's try mine."

 

The Night Nurse (Ruth Connel) is at at even greater intensity, where every line she has is fueled with frustration...

However, I don't think she actually swears. I can't seem to find any quotes where she did, and if she didn't after the guy in the fish drove her crazy, then maybe she didn't at all. But the power of her verbal assault felt like she was cursing most of the time. As you can see, the high level of excellent research that goes into these awards has remained unchanged. 

"Why are you being so kind to me, and also, are you insane?"

The antagonists are at the next level. Lukas Gage as the Cat King has power and seduction behind his four letter turns of phrase. He also morphed from someone I thought of as a giant danger and manipulative monster into my thinking, "He should get invited to absolutely every party." His taunt of Esther was epic:

"I need to be young. I wanna be pretty. 

I want revenge on everyone all the time. 

*dramatic pause*

Why the fuck are you here?"

Evil, immortal witch Esther (Jenn Lyon) drips power and venom with her word choices.

I feel like there should be so many better ones, but frankly I've been fucking stressed out lately and this is the best I could find. At least it's an excellent example of Esther not only being an evil, immortal witch but an abusive parent:

"I'm sorry, did you wanna stay a dirty, disgusting little crow?

I have to finish everything myself.

I mean, this is why we had a plan, Monty, 

so I wouldn't be the one traipsing through 

the GODDAMN woods!"

However, even among this outstandingly profane crowd there are three individuals that stand well above the rest to stand in in true Dana Award territory.

The only human at this highest level goth Butcher Jenny Green (Briana Cuoco). Her matter of fact, and emotionally charged cursing placed her well above an impressive field. Yet, her dark and profane exterior never masks or hides the fact that she is good and kind.  Really, almost every time she opens her mouth, the profanity flies forth in excellent style. So here's just one example, of how well she rolls with all the insane shit she gets introduced to her throughout the season. 

"I figure a meat cleaver can cut up a witch, - 

but what the fuck do I know anymore?"

Lity and Kingham, the tiny Dandelion Sprites played by Caitlin Reilly and Max Jenkins are as far above her in swearing as they are beneath her in height. Nearly every phrase that comes out of their tiny mouths is a truly vindictive dirty word laden assault. Their introduction after being removed from Niko was particularly impressive.

Litty- "I'm gonna tell you something 'cause I think you really need to hear it.

 You should go fuck yourself."

  Kingham- "And are you hearing her?"

 Niko- "They do not seem grateful.

Or particularly nice." 

Litty- "We're not grateful."

Niko- "They're just upset."

Litty- "Bye."

Niko- "I know what it's like to want something you can't have."

Crystal- "Okay. *sigh* That's enough sprite time."

Sprites- "What gives, asshole?

What are you doing with that butt-ugly sweater?

You can take that sweater and you can shove it up your ass. 

Do you have any clue how powerful we are?"

Crystal-  "Oh. Mmm-hmm."

Sprites- " We are fucking gods!

Better hope we never get out of here.

We're gonna fuck you up.

Like, 'brass knuckles and mace' fuck you up."

However, the True Dana Award Moment came when they boys first arrived to work on the missing child case in Port Townsend, and saw a small, cute animal in the street leading to this magnificent exchange.

Edwin- "Cat, you live near here."

Cat- *meows*

Edwin- "Do you know anything?"

Crystal- *laugh* "It's not like the cat is gonna talk..."

Cat- "Fuuuuuuck you.

I'm not telling you nothing about that house or the witch inside.

*meow*"

Crystal- "Cats can talk?

Edwin- "Wild, right? They just don't talk to humans."

Later followed by this feline exchange between two cats- 

"I can't believe you let that kid put a magic leash on you,

 and then you just HAAAD to tattle to the Cat King."

"FUCK OFF. the kid had a sardine."

"You're such a whore"

Yes, I spent far too much time on this show, for a couple of gags, but honestly, I'm still pissed it got cancelled. It could have gone in SO MANY AWESOME directions.

And that's all for this year.

The George Awards Will Return.