Monday, June 27, 2011

Standard's Blues

I planned to review the new Weird Al album, but in all honesty, why? If you’re a fan of his work, you’ll like it, and if not you won’t. We don’t need to waste each other’s time for me to tell you I liked it.

I will say it’s probably his best album cover. Also, thanx to having a daughter there are a couple parodies on it where I’ve actually heard the original song before Al’s version. That hasn’t happened in a decade or two.

Instead of talking about his album, here’s one of my (unworthy to be mentioned in the same post with him) songs about my job. This one’s a parody of “Smugglers Blues” by Glenn Fry.

Oh yeah, and here’s my dress shoes. As you can see, Al has influenced my footwear as well as my sense of humor.

"Standards Blues"

There's papers piled high today,
I can’t see my desk at all.
To read them is my mission,
Or the project hits a wall.
I though the work was finished,
But I didn't know the score.
Everything was tested,
Now we have to do much more.
To submit all the data,
All of this must be reviewed.
Don’t let the timeline slip now,
Or your bonus will be screwed.
We’ll all work too many hours
Get the licenses renewed.
I'm sorry we just learned this now,
There’s so much to peruse,
It's the nature of our business,
It's the standards blues.
Standards Blues

U.S.P. - A.S.T.M.,
Plus ISO and E.N.
The method must be listed,
Or we’ll have to test again.
No matter if there’s no change since ‘sixty four,
It’s got to meet today’s rules,
Or it won’t get out the door.
There's lots of specifications,
To cover every part,
Ev'ry last component, and
The box and label art.
The packaging must line up too,
Or the submission falls apart.

Perhaps we’ve over taxed the team now,
Well before the trouble brews.
It's the ultimate proactive,
It's the standards blues,
Standard's blues.

See it in the grey sheets,
You hear it ev'ry day.
They find a non-compliance,
Then they haul the boss away.
They change them almost yearly, in confusing ways.
They hide things in appendices,
It makes your hair turn grey.
You have to pay the government for each revision new.
You ask any F.D.A. man,
He'll push it back on you,
You’ll need to find a precedent,
Or testing you’ll redo, you’ll redo.

It’s a government suggestion,
But one you can't refuse.
It's the burden of the engineers,
It's the standards blues,
Standards blues.


Anonymous said...

excerpt from “Peelin’ Tape” (a.k.a. “ASTM F2252 - 03(2008) blues”) I think

By Blint Clack

You were the first thing that I thought of
When I thought I peeled you off my mind
When I get lost in that standard
You're the only one I find
And if I did the things I wanna
Bills wont go through on time
So I'll keep a tight grip on the sticky
Peelin’ tape and watchin’ time

This peelin’ tape is killin' me
Peelin’ myself blind thinkin' I won't see
That if I drop that tape and they bury me
Well I just might find I'll be peelin’ tape for eternity
Yes, I just might find I'll be peelin tape for eternity


Anonymous said...

Love this post.....! I say you ask to co-write a song.

Somehow I don't fit any profile below, so "Anonymous" it is...


Jeff McGinley said...

Many thanx for joining in and for the compliments. I think it defeats the point of anonymousness if you sign your name though.