Due to delayed holiday
parties on two fronts, there was a pair of dance attempts in the same weekend-
many weeks away from any lessons.
The first was the party
for work.
Honestly, I had no
intention of doing much dancing there.
Sadly, I am far too well
trained. A Peruvian woman says, “Let’s
dance,” when there’s Latin music playing and I’m on the floor before I know
what’s going on.
Turns out “Danza Kuduro”
is one of them instructional dances that explains the steps. That’s much more obvious in a room full of
Spanish speakers.
What’s also obvious is
there is marked differences between what my wife calls “real salsa” and the
“ballroom salsa” I’ve been learning.
I managed not to hurt
anyone, barely.
The second adventure was
at the local lake club house dance.
Having my wife there helped my skill level considerably.
There was some
successful Cha Cha-ness before a lack of room calmed us down. When “my type” of music played we attempted
jive. For some reason that never works quite right in public. I think I’m still
trying to do “1-2-3, 1-2-3” at the same time as I do “One-And.”
I have decided that
Pitbull is entirely evil. His songs switch between samba and salsa right in the
middle, and then back. I have enough
problems counting for just one of those.
Week 1
We contemplated
upgrading to the Advanced Class this time, only to find there weren’t enough
people to have one. There were, however,
a zillion beginners in the class before us.
There was a large amount
of partner switching, honestly, I think so Tony could steal Rosa for some extra
Latin-y Rumba moves. Being fried from an all-day audit, I didn’t really notice.
I guess I had improved,
as some of the women were apologizing to me.
In all fairness, I
should have been the one apologizing in at least one case. Not noticing the switches meant I nearly
lifted a short woman clean off the floor for a basic turn.
Week 2
I spent three hours
scraping ice off the driveway, which added ever so much to my dancing skill and
stamina that evening.
We started (again) with
Rumba.
This night was about
fine details: hand placement, and the timing for the step and turn, which were
not the same. Yeah, that was going to cause
me problems.
Tony actually asked
about switching this time. Since most of
the switching was with a couple that had another tall guy named Jeff married to
a wife who led and knew Doctor Who,
there wasn’t much adjustment.
There was one brief switch
where I had to lead a woman who couldn’t count to three.
That was problematic.
I was back with Rosa for
the end where we changed to Waltz, however. We successfully executed the turn
before the other couples.
Woo! Go us!
Our triumph was cut
short when a table got in my way and messed up my steps completely. Tony was
kind enough to take over for me while I tried to find my feet.
The massive Beginners’ Class
was split in two, meaning our class was being moved to the normally Advanced
later time after all.
Week 3
Our first night starting
an hour later was combined with the onset of Daylight Savings Time.
Yeah, that worked.
Following two weeks of
safe and slow Rumba and Waltz, our first late night dance was a festive Merengue…
Oy.
Tony went over in detail
how to properly use the foot placement to make the hip action work
correctly. He started by taking all the
women through it, step by step.
Then he tried to teach
it to me and the other “Great White Jeff.”
I think we both pulled
something.
He gave up on technique
for the rest of the night to bombard us with an increasing number of
steps. Most of them were turns, twists
and switches that required more arm stuff than anything else.
The final one he was
able to do with Rosa (sort of) was extra complex. The ladies all dubbed it,
“The Octopus Thing.”
Week 4
We got nearly a solo
lesson as almost no one else showed up. It was back to Rumba again, with another
detailed and specific focus on hand and foot placement.
Tony’s assistant (and
Phake Phoebe, down to also being a financial planner) Bella wanted to see how I
did as a leader. Then she proceeded to fight against my lead until I followed
her. I may have misunderstood what she
was asking.
He demonstrated a bunch
of complex steps with Rosa, and then made some simple ones for me. He, Bella and other students all complimented
Rosa’s work with him. Then he looked at me, and said I was “doing good,” with
that, “Oh yeah, I forgot about the special kid we keep chained up under the stairs,”
tone.
When we were paired back
up again, I could see that Rosa had great form. She also had some trouble
counting to three. That I could help with.
We ended with the
“swivel.”
Rosa swiveled, my job was
to brace myself, be massive and stand still.
That was a move I could
definitely excel at.
Week 5
The halls were filled
with zombies!
The Spring Musical was The Addams Family. Still, it was cool.
A Tango was playing at
the end of the Beginners’ Class. Miraculously, we remembered it from the last
year. Less miraculously, when they
switched to Rumba, we forgot everything from the last week.
Tony asked what we wanted,
Rosa said Cha Cha and it was someone else in the class’s turn to groan. We did the very basics, but he used Rumba to show
as a comparison. We’d done that dance so
often, Rosa developed a Rumba twitch.
We switched over to Tango
with the time shift plus daylight savings still affecting me.
On a cross over and
return, I moved her arm inside mine instead of outside, and caught a ring
enhanced punch in the nose.
During a mistimed half
turn to promenade position, I received a knee in the happy sacks.
Finally I lunged on
wrong foot, took a step I wasn’t supposed to put weight on too hard, missed the
part of shoe that provided with traction, and ended up in a full split.
It was truly the
“Masochism Tango.”
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