Thursday, April 5, 2012

Top Ten Ways to have More Fun in Church

As Easter approaches, many folks ready themselves to venture to church.  Since many of them have not been for a year, or more, I thought I ‘d pass along some helpful advice.

In my travels over the years I”ve had periods of time where I’d attend mass at a different church almost every week. 

I guess you could call me a Roamin' Catholic.
Thank you, try the veal! 

Anyway, I have amassed (get it, a-MASS-ed?  forget it) a bunch of ways to have more fun in church, to help the neophytes get through their yearly visits....

Not counting Jesse's suggestion:

"One Word - FIREWORKS!"

10)        Experiment with multi lamp hand shadows on the floor.

9)         Count the panes in a stain glass window

8)         Stare disapprovingly at the small child nearest you until they scream

7)         Try to be the last one to stand/sit or kneel each time

6)         Bring a remote control car, unless its a cathedral, then bring a helicopter

5)         Throw alka seltzer in the holy water font

4)         Belch the responses to the psalms

3)         As you leave scrape your feet on the rug, so you give the priest a shock when he shakes your hand

2)         Make faces at the choir so they laugh during the solemn hymns

1)         Whenever you're supposed to say "Amen" yell "Ole' !"

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