Monday, June 16, 2014

The Litany of Godzilla: Heisei Series Part Three- Battling Guardians

Miss the crazy time travel one?  Click here.

Godzilla vs. Mothra
(aka Godzilla and Mothra: Giant Battle for Earth)

A year after the last sighting, a big meteor hits the Pacific Ocean.  It is in fact, FREAKY BIG and wakes up Godzilla, raises ocean levels, causes typhoons, and uncovers an excessively large egg with a familiar theme song.

Then, in another movie, there’s an Indiana Jones Wannabe stealing an idol and setting off traps that drop a great many Styrofoam bricks on his head.  He’s arrested and makes a deal to get out of jail to go find the giant egg with his Ex-wife archeologist.   Hilarity ensues.

Miki, in the Godzilla looking at base, notices he isn’t where he’d been sleeping after the meteor hit.  She does this using satellite images. I guess she forgot she was psychic.  A giant ugly spiky caterpillar thing shows up under water at this point, which will probably come into play later.

The snarky couple head to Infant Island, there’s a lot of “arguing, but they still love each other” moments and a collapsing rope bridge scene in case anyone forgot he was an Indy Wannabe.  The river they fall into, after some gratuitous “ex wife gained weight” jokes, is a more convenient way to travel… until the waterfall.

Luckily, a cave is found behind the waterfall to remind everyone this is a Kaiju film.  There’s ancient drawings of giant winged insects on the wall, and a sunlight symbol that leads them through a passage to the egg.

The Cosmos (the Heisei Mothra Fairies) show up.  They’re in charge of maintaining the world’s natural order, and delivering exposition.  Apparently, there was a civilization twelve thousand years ago but they didn’t respect the environment- coincidently, just like the company employing Indy Wannabe and his Ex. Scientists also built a climate control machineMothra wanted to protect the people, but the Black Mothra, Battra wanted to protect the Earth and kill the people.   They fought, Mothra died, and the continent sank under the ocean

Throw in the group of “Save the Earth” protestors at the deforestation site in the next scene, and you’ve got one major stroll down Showa memory lane.  Especially since the Environmental Planning Board Chief is Akira Takarada, Emiko's new squeeze Ogata from the original film.

The deforestation company decides they want to bring the Giant Egg to Japan, because it will be safer and better for the environment.  Yeah, Right. 

Battra is on the move at sea, underground and on land.  He’s the spiky caterpillar thing from before, but his sideways chompy mouth and lightning shooting head add to the Showa references list, as they look to be lifted from Megalon.  The army continues to be useless.  Laser Tanks fare a little better than conventional weapons, until he drops the radio tower from the 1961 Mothra on them in homage.

Godzilla knows how to make an entrance, and pulls off a spectacular one from underwater near the egg towing boat.  Indy Wannabe cuts the hatching egg loose, over the protests of Company Man who hired him. The Ex actually asks, “What will Godzilla do?” when he reaches the egg.  Since this is the Heisei series, obviously, he’s gonna breathe all over it.

Mothra hatches out, and even though Godzilla still hates webbing and having his tail bitten, things are bad for the caterpillar from the get go.  They get worse when Battra, who is much closer to Godzilla’s size than the newborn Mothra, shows up.

Godzilla and Battra blast each other, and succeed in vaporizing the egg barge before taking the energy fight underwater.

 Mothra takes this opportunity to run home.  Godzilla goes back to Ye Olde Tail slam again, and cracks open the earth with his insect foe, dropping them both into a new volcano.

Indy Wannabe and his Ex reminisce about how they were young and stupid.  They’re not much brighter now, as Company Man manages to steal the Cosmos as they chat.  While Company Man is trying to set them up with dollhouse furniture, they go into a medley of the Shobijin’s Greatest Hits to call Mothra.  Then Company Man can’t find them, because Wannabe Indy has stolen them, not for rescue, but to sell them to an Evil American, as we haven’t had one of those in the movie yet.  As soon as he’s shamed in front of his daughter, he repents and joins the heroes for good.

Mothra’s still swimming.  She passes through a combined arms attack homage to the original Mothra that does absolutely nothing to her, just like back then.  Fortunately, we find out Miki can add tiny twin singing fairies to her list of less than common psychic contacts.  Her search method is a tad more efficient than Mothra’s one of knocking buildings down.

She finds out they’re OK, but knocks down a few more blocks on the way out of town, causing the army to attack the giant caterpillar.  They look to actually have an effect for a change, but not really.  Mothra has just chosen that point to pupa on the capitol building.  (Pupa…hee hee.)

Mount Fuji erupts, and out comes Godzilla.  Did I say he knew how to make an entrance?  Not to be outdone, amidst singing and Magic Dust clouds, full grown Mothra makes her first appearance.  Battra, being a less theatrical Kaiju, pops out of the ocean and simply explodes into its Dark Mothra, Giant Fly Thingy form.

At least the army realizes stopping Godzilla isn’t even on the table, and they try to divert him into the sea with Laser Tanks (which do nothing visible before exploding) and flying laser tanks. (Which do nothing visible…you get the idea.)  They do divert him, but not into the sea.  He ends up in Yokohama where the giant bugs are already fighting. Sucks to be Yokohama.

Mothra doesn’t have energy attacks, which means Battra shoots her down pretty quickly.  He then flies at Godzilla and drops a sizable building on the King of Monsters using his eye beams.  Sadly, he then flies too close while inspecting his work, gets grabbed by the down but not out Big G, and gets the snot blasted out of him. 

Mothra swoops in to the rescue, remembering that since this is the Heisei series, she has antennae beams to shoot. There’s a giant bug confab on the ground full of glows, sparkles and Magic Dust to go over strategy and tactics while Godzilla is temporarily stunned.

Mothra leads the attack with her Spark Filled - Godzilla Breath Dampening- Magic Wing Dust. It works pretty well for a while, until it doesn’t and Godzilla drops a Ferris Wheel on her.   Battra catches the attraction, and beats on Godzilla with it.

No, I did not make that up, either.

Both bugs start nailing the Big G with various beams.  Mothra hits him with a second, heavier dose of Spark Filled - Godzilla Breath Dampening- Magic Wing Dust, augmented by Battra’s head lighting.

Godzilla falls, allowing time for another Giant Bug Pow Wow, and some exceedingly distressed and worried reaction shots of Miki.  I think we found out why we never see her get a boyfriend in these films.

Battra lands on Godzilla’s face, which is where all his teeth are.  The “Dark Mothra” gets bit and a bunch of goo comes out, but he remains strong enough to lift the Big G out to sea, with help from Mothra grabbing the tail.

Since Battra is also holding the end that breathes a radioactive death ray, this is his last flight.  Mothra drops the pair of them in the ocean, and marks the spot with a Magic Dust Mothra symbol.

The climax takes place at Homage International Airport.  During the Bug Conference, Mothra learned an even freakier bigger meteor than the one at the start of the story is coming in 1999 to destroy the Earth.  Mothra now has to go into space to stop it, as she promised to do Battra's job to get his help, since he's all dead now. 

Indy Wannabe and his Ex reunite and form a real family with their daughter. They bid the Cosmos farewell as the fairies turn into Magic Dust and merge with Mothra’s antennae. 

She then flies off into space, turns into Magic Dust herself…and I'm still not making any of this up.

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