Thursday, May 14, 2015

Bondlets: The Man with the Golden Gun


Hey, I wonder if the Cowboys and Gangsters from Disney’s Great Movie Ride were taken from Scaramanga’s shooting gallery we see in the cold open of this one?

I have a feeling these will come much quicker now as my daughter showed increased enthusiasm to see another Roger Moore outing, and has identified him as both her favorite so far and generally more fun.  Amazingly, his James Bond does things that are far colder and more ruthless than the others, and he personally kills the main villain more times than any other actor in the role. It’s a testament to the man’s charm that he comes off as the lighter and friendlier Bond.

There was a rather jarring sign that censorship had relaxed somewhat in the 1970’s.  I was in the kitchen grabbing something during the theme, in protest of their choosing “Lulu” over Alice Cooper’s offering.  Suddenly a yell came from the other room:

Having Chu-Mi’s trunkless pool scene and the sumo wrestlers show up later led to the title, “The Tush Movie.”  Bond defeating one by applying a “wedgie” finalized it.

Luckily the joy at the return of Q (That’s my girl) overwhelmed this, and the occasional off color word that starts sneaking into the 1970’s films.  She did agree that that expletive was accurate for being about to crash a taxiing plane through a hangar wall.

The reappearance of goofball J. W. Pepper and the kung fu school girls got my daughter to proclaim out loud that the movies are now “more fun!”

She was still upset and wanted to know why he always has to Jamesbond people.  The answer, “Because he’s James Bond,” was not accepted as adequate.

At first she was confused by there being two Bond girls. (She is new at this.) That ended quickly though, mostly because one died and she didn’t like Mary Goodnight at all.  The rookie agent is, by far, the most useless of the bond girls.  In the last film, Rosie at least had a bit of an excuse, being a double agent.  Mary’s best function may have been as a decoy instead of the pile of pillows Bond claimed she was.

When Goodnight backed her posterior into the Solar Laser thing button, my daughter executed a lengthy face palm proclaiming, “It’s the tush of death.”

Christopher Lee, as Scaramanga greatly impressed her. Because, duh, Christopher Lee.

The Golden Gun itself and his car plane caused her to yell, “WHOAH!” out loud. Something getting to be a common occurrence as the stunts and gadgets continue to ramp up.

She kept calling him a “nice villain.”  Explaining he was an amoral assassin, and using “classy and polite” may be better instead of "nice" was one of my fine parenting moments.

The other was quizzing her for an upcoming language arts test when we saw Hi Fat wasn’t fooled by Bond’s phony extra nipple, but 007 didn’t know it yet. I asked her what that was an example of and she correctly answered:

“That’s dramatic irony!”

See – New actor, still educational…

Even in “The Tush Movie.”

Bondlets Index

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