Thursday, April 7, 2011

STAR WARS: The Phantom Musical

A Star Wars Trilogy of oldies parodies.  Highlighting my skill at bad rhyming, and my lack of skill at image manipulation.


THE LITTLE YOUNG JEDI FROM TATOOINE-AH
(to the tune of The Little Old Lady (From Pasadena))
Lyrics By Jeff McGinley 6-10-99
Music by and apologies to Jan and Dean

It's the little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah...

The little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah.
     (Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!)
     Has a dusty little smock and a room that’s no cleaner.
     (Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!)
     He’s just a slave not a well trained spacer,
     But he’s built an after-burning podracer.

  If you check the other pods you will not find one leaner,
     Than the little young Jedi’s from Tatooine-ah.
     He worked in secret, and he worked real hard,
     And stole all his parts out of Watto’s junk yard.

It's the little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah...

When you see him go by you won’t catch him later,
     (Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!)
     Flyin’ faster than the shots of a Tusken Raider
     (Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!)
     Well, Sebulba thinks he’ll win, 'cause that’s always been true,
     But on this Boonta Eve he’ll  be Bantha poodoo.

And,  the alien drivers  look a hundred times meaner,
     Than the little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah.
     The on-ly  hu-man racer, no doubt
     He's got a record high Midichlorian count.

It's the little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah...

     Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!
     Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!

A long shot contender no if,  and, or but,
His come from behind win shocked Jabba the Hutt

He’s a vergence in the force, not a poser or schemer,
     That’s the little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah.
     Cute kid now but we all know there’s more,
     He’ll be evil Darth Vader by Episode Four.

     It's the little young Jedi from Tatooine-ah...
     Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!
     Go Ani, go Ani, go Ani, go!   (Repeat times 7 and fade)
_______________________________________________________


JEDI ALL IN BLACK
Lyrics By Jeff McGinley 7-12-2005
(Parody of LEADER OF THE PACK G. Morton - J. Barry - Ellie Greenwich)
Apologies to THE SHANGRI-LAS, GEORGE LUCAS, and the SWFCA

[A deleted scene from the end of Revenge of the Sith, just after the twins are born
two handmaidens come in to Senator Amidala’s room]
Rabe': Did she really go and marry him?
Sabe': Well, there she is. Let's ask her
Rabe': Padme, is that Ani’s Japoor Snippet you're wearing?
Padme: Mm-hmm
Rabe': Gee, it must be great pod racing with him
Sabe': Is he picking you up after the med droids finish?
Padme: Uh-uh
Both: By the way, where'd you meet him?

I met him back on Tatooine
He whines a bit but he rescued me
In the last picture (yes we saw)
That’s when I fell for (the Jedi all in Black) *lightsaber humm*

The Council never treated him right (right, right)
They said he'd stay as a Jedi Knight
(whatcha mean when ya say that he ain't a master just a knight?)
He thought they were mean
So he joined Palpatine
Mace Windu fell to (the Jedi all in Black) *lightsaber humm*

One day he took out the Separatists
His eyes turned yellow, boy he looked pissed
(whatcha mean when ya say that all his training was dissed?)
I was shocked, it was no myth
He's a Dark Lord of the Sith
You go I can’t follow (the Jedi all in Black)  *lightsaber humm*

[spoken]
He said the Jedi had cheated and lied
I said that was not true of course
But when Kenobi came out by my side
He choked me with the force
They started to fight, things got much worse
Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out!
(Multiple lightsaber slicing noises)

He dueled in lava, with Obi Wan
Now his good arm and both legs are gone

Don't believe the bad guys won
There is a new hope, Luke my young son
He’ll make a return as (a Jedi All in Black) *lightsaber humm*

The Jedi all in black – End the Clone War
The Jedi all in black – on Mustafar
The Jedi all in black – Build the Death Star
The Jedi all in black - Now Darth Vad-ar

________________________________________________ 
Finally
It's not unusual, to be a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away

What if . . . Tom Jones was cast in the role of Han Solo
(aside from my sister being very upset)
We might have heard this:



PRINCESS LEIA
Lyrics By: Jeff McGinley 6-6-2000
(Parody of “SHE’S A LADY ” - Paul Anka)
Apologies to Tom Jones, and anyone who’s ever heard of him

Well she stole the secret plans,
But fell into Vader's hands
She didn't get far.
Well she called for Obi Wan.
Then they blew up Alderan,
With the Death Star.

Princess Leia.
Whoa whoa whoa,
Princess Leia.
Talkin' about her highness Leia,
and now Leia is mine.

R-2 found her prison cell
I saw her, in love I fell,
Her buns were real cute.
I wanted her right by my side,
Even though she made us slide
Right down the trash chute.

Princess Leia.
Or - gan - a.
Princess Leia.
Rebels all shout for Princess Leia,
But know Leia is mine.

She went and called me scruffy lookin'
On Hoth we had a fight.
Pronounced her love on Cloud City,
I got froze in Carbonite.
Knew her when she rescued me,
Even though I lost my sight.
Helped me escape Jabba,
In the Falcon flew a-way.
Hey, hey, hey.

Well we blew the Endor shield,
Then I thought I'd have to yield,
But she said "oh no".
I thought she loved another,
Turns out Luke's her brother,
Now I'm not solo.

Princess Leia.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Princess Leia.
Chewie's life debt goes to that lady
Now that Leia is mine.

Yeah yeah yeah
Princess Leia
Amidala's Daughter,
Princess Leia
Or - gan - a,
Princess Leia
And now Leia is mine

Yeah yeah yeah
Princess Leia
Walkers could not stop Princess Leia
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Whoa and now Leia is mine
Yeah yeah
Princess Leia

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