Shoe Blues Review

Sometimes this stuff just pops into my head fully formed.  Unfortunately for you people, I have to let it out, or it’ll break something.

The Squishy Shoe Blues

Inspired By an anonymous comment

(Standard Blues Beat, Wet Shoe Leather Sound in Rhythm Section)

I woke up this mornin’

Was rushin’ late for work

Just grabbed my footwear quickly

Now I feel like such a jerk

‘Cause all of ‘em hear me comin’

and it makes me have the blues

Oh why oh why did I put on…

This dumb old pair of squishy shoes?

There’s no way to keep ‘em quiet

Not even for a bar bet

They even squeak and sound off

On a thickly piled car-pet

Can’t go to the li-brar-ry

Even though I payed my dues

What did I do to de-serve

These loathsome squishy shoes?

I thought they were just dirty

So I tried a bunch a washes

Now they look like formal footwear

But still sound like old galoshes

With each step they screech and howl

Sounds that rival any zoo’s

But it ain’t no wild beasties

Just these dopey squishy shoes.

Tried flat foot and on tip toe

On heels or down on arches

Tried shuffles hops and gallops

And a load of other marches

If I try to sneak up on ya

I’m always gonna lose

You can hear the sound for miles

From my bogus squishy shoes.

Now I’m hidin’ in my office

Shut that din out of my head

If somebody wants me to walk out

I’ll just pre-tend that I’m dead

No way I’m leavin’ home tomorrow

Tell my boss I got the flu

Cause I ain’t gonna spend another day

I’m tellin’ you there ain’t no way

Not goin’ out to work or play

Cause the sound’ll make you say “Oy vey”

And I’m sick of workin’ anyway.

 ...

Won’t be a dolt in.... squishy shoes

My story’s told in... squishy shoes

Not Michael Bolton’s... squishy shoes

By my revol-tin’......

Squishy...

Shoes.....

oooooooh ye-a-a-ah.