The Hacker

Yes, it’s another song.

I have a lot of them, but more importantly, while I have been known to obsess about it regularly, I haven’t mentioned Tron in far too long.

Take it away, digital, grid dwelling Kenny!

The Hacker

(Parody of the Gambler by Don Schlitz)

Lyrics and apologies to Kenny Rogers by me

On a cool Monday mornin' on a train bound from Jersey,

I met up with a hacker; on his way back home from work.

As I sat there a typin', in some figures on my laptop

My screen and keyboard locked up, and I felt just like a jerk.

He said, "Sir, I make my life by defraggin’ people’s systems,

Restorin' missin’ files and hardware issues too.

I can see without your data, the deadlines you have missed ‘em.

For a taste of your Cheetos I'll see what I can do."

So I handed him my Cheetos and he scarfed some while rebooting.

He reinstalled File Manager, and Office Works as well,

And found that missing spreadsheet, while he wore a smug expression.

Then he sang to himself softly, while he fired up Excel.

“You got to know when to load 'em, know when to code 'em,

Know when to compile, and know when to run.

You never write your comments when you're sittin' at the keyboard.

There'll be time enough for comments when the program's done.

Ev'ry hacker knows that the secret to survivin'

Is knowin' always back up disks and save the data raw.

'Cause ev'ry board’s a mother and ev'ry bug's a feature,

From the Commodore to Pentium they follow Murphy’s law."

And when he'd finished singin', he stepped off at the station,

Took all my Cheetos too, but that’s just fine with me.

Even though his day was over, he saved my presentation.

I’ll always hear his song while watching Tron on DVD.

“You got to know when to load 'em, know when to code 'em,

Know when to compile, and know when to run.

You never write your comments when you're sittin' at the keyboard.

There'll be time enough for comments when the program's done.”

(Repeat with nerdly chorus in echo)