Monday, April 28, 2025

Transformers Rewatch Original Season 2I

Hoist Goes Hollywood
Hey! Carly is back. We missed you! Please slap Spike. Slap him hard! 
Hoist just drove the two crazy kids right into a  stunt drive on a movie set. Don’t those have warnings posted and stuff?
Hoist (the tow truck for those that forgot) climbs down the dangerous cliff to save the stunt drivers. If only he had… Oh, I don’t know, something to HOIST them with.  
Spike tries to get a job in the film after Hoist does as a vehicle robot, which he is not. Spike, do you not remember the season opener? That did not go well.
Yeah, Starscream! Dis those Season Two Seekers. You guys are way better.
Hmmm, a whole bunch of Season Two Autobots show up out of nowhere to be in the movie
(and Sunstreaker where’d he come from?) because they’re morons. 
This movie being made appears to be Indiana Jones kisses Princess Leia over and over again. (Wait, their names are Harold Edsel and Karen Fishhook, at least they admit what they’re doing.)
The Autobots are taking damage crashing into sets, imagine how they’d fare in real combat. This may explain most of the battles.
The Megatron/ Soundwave/ Starscream interactions remain wonderfully silly and likely kept them in so many stories, even though they’re last year’s toys. 
Now it’s a science fiction film and alien masks are being worn by real giant robots. I one hundred percent believe a studio would be dumb enough to do that.
The in-story movie’s main character is now named- Dash Jordan. That is all.
Carly has to tell the film editor how her work prints work. Maybe the Autobots specifically recruited these kids because they’re smarter than everyone on Earth.
The Decepticons understand this. Soundwave himself goes after Spike and Carly. He knows. As does Megatron. In fact, the kids outsmarted the Decepticon leader…but not Soundwave. My man!
I see… the Decepticons ENTIRE PLAN this time was to steal one of Wheeljack’s MANY non-working inventions. To be fair. Most of his stuff is more useful for them than the Autobots anyway. 
 
 
The Key to Vector Sigma Parts 1-2
The Autobots get attacked while on convoy and decide they need planes because they don’t have air support. Except they do have it (Powerglide, the Dinobots, Jetpacks and piles of foot jets) they simply chose not to use it.
Coincidentally, the Decepticons decide they need cars because… tunnels. I feel there may be a better way to handle that obstacle with their current troops.
Smokescreen generates smoke that sticks to his enemies faces. He should patent that.
The Decepticons had enough purple metal and technical equipment to build about six bases, including reforming all of Manhattan, yet they still feel the need to steal cars. Sounds like a psychological problem.
Truck drivers wear the standard open shirt/ hard hat uniform of manual labor. Then again, it makes sense that everyone wears hard hats with Cybertronians running around this world.
And now we have more remote control cars. It took them a very long time to make Vehicons a specifically named thing. (And I’m ahead of myself once more.)  
Y’know, Megatron, if you used that impenetrable coating you're putting on those new cars for your normal troops, you wouldn’t even need the cars. This plan is because even Megatron knows the new Seekers are useless. 
Ah, that’s why the cars are remote control. There is no way to give them personalities on Earth.
So… Dinobots? Wheeljack is crazy but also VERY talented.
“Vector Sigma gave us life.” LORE
Hey, Alpha Trion. Wow, you were a heck of a lot easier to find this time around. Maybe hide when the bad guys are looking for you?
Why is Vector Sigma, the spherical computer at the center of Cybertron that gave all the Transformers life and personalities, guarded by mindless drones? Maybe liven them up a bit while you were sitting there for FOUR MILLION YEARS!
Vector Sigma sounds a lot like Oz the Great and Powerful. And those drones may be mindless, but they have wrestling training. Nice German Suplex!
For a two parter, we only got a smidge of LORE. 
The army just saw their base assaulted by cars with Decepticon logos. Their first reaction, “They must be Autobots.” Guys, you don’t learn.
Those five cars driving around the base did almost as much damage as one jet could have. Once more, excellent planning there Megatron.
Alpha Trion is first generation. How old must he be if the “Young Guys” are over nine million years old?

Alpha Trion, “A fair trade, one dies so that six could be born?” Six? You made five Aerialbots. Did we spontaneously create life somewhere else on Cybertron? They should look into that. Oh I get it, Superion, when the Aerialbots combine, has a separate personality... which is an issue we also need to address
I forgot the Aerialbots were made with old transports. They’re pure Cybertronians. You figure there would be some key difference between them and the Stunticons because of that but the stories all focus only on them merging and hitting each other. It’s like they just don’t care.
Shockwave walked straight into Vector Sigma with no resistance. I don’t think they broke the entire multitude of drones. Is he first generation too?
Once again, Megatron’s plan will destroy Earth. The man needs some training in “sequence of events” risk management.
Here is the most blatant version of Omega Supreme’s transformation in history. While running full speed across Cybertron, he fires his arms up at the Autobots. The arms turn into the rocket and fly them back to Earth…
Where it transforms back into all of Omega Supreme. No wonder he blows up immediately. 
Optimus- “How bad is it?”  Dude, he’s in bits.
Optimus drives the five Aerialbots to the base in his trailer, where they step out, transform, and fly away. That’s a lot to unpack there. 
On first impressions, the Aerialbots think humans suck. They’re not wrong.
Silverbolt is afraid of heights. That’s a misfit toy right there. Oh good, make him leader. Optimus, your plan of distracting him with the burden of command over troops that don’t respect him to make him forget his phobia has holes in it YOU could drive through.
For both groups, the central body vehicle is enormous compared to the other four. Yet all five are identical heights as robots. It’s like they just don’t care.
The Aerialbots are jerks to everyone. Looks like Vector Sigma didn’t listen when Optimus was extoling all the virtues to include in them. You think maybe four million years of Decepticon rule on Cybertron may have tainted it? Just a thought.
The Key To Vector Sigma not only unlocks that computer, but it shoots a “Turn organic things into metal” ray. Handy. 
No Megatron, you cannot turn Earth into Cybertron that way. Cybertron is not a solid hunk of metal.
Holy Cow, that map of the United States is some clear proof this is another world.  
The Aerialbots are convinced of the worthiness of humanity by viewing their pinnacle- Sparkplug.
And it’s mostly because Ratchet needs to recharge before Spike's Dad does. Good thing Sparkplug grabbed a sandwich while working (and that Cybertronian charges drop faster than my old cell phone) or the Earth would be doomed.
New combiner time! Menasor is first… by a tad. He and Superion have much less organic transformations than Devastator. They just leap together in a flash of light and *poof* giant robot!
Hey, they fixed Omega Supreme. He’s still way bigger than the others. Darn right retreat, Megatron.
And now the Aerialbots need a ride home, because they can’t fly in robot form. That seems like a design flaw. 
Hey, Optimus. You got the Key, why did you blow it up? Maybe return it to Cybertron so your race doesn’t come to a grinding halt. Just a thought.
 
 
Aerial Assault
An Arab nation? Is this where we lose Casey Kasem? Oh, not yet.
After only briefly knowing the Aerialbots, I formally apologize for calling Powerglide annoying. 
The Combatacons? Dude the episodes are out of order again. It’s like they just don’t care.
Optimus and company drove to Iran in five minutes. Maybe Omega Supreme blew up again off camera after bringing them. I think I see Omega in the back. Oh… no. It was just terrible perspective on one of the Aerialbots.
This story is a straight rip off of Raul and Tracks’s first ghetto adventure, but they’re stealing planes this time.
Well done, Aerialbots. You found the thieves and did nothing while they cut you to pieces and stole your radios. It’s fine though. They’re being rescued by Hassan. (AKA, the Arab Raul.)
Yup, exactly the same story. Decepticons are building a drone Air Force to steal oil. 
Megatron, you need to get treated for ADHD. He’s got his usual forces AND a bunch of new drones. (more Vehicons) So what does he do for defense? Organize and command them?  No that would actually make sense. Instead, he’s built a giant Sphinx with prehensile hair for defense. Yes, of course it is purple. 
With the Combaticons and Triple Changers, the Decepticons now have two space shuttles. That seems excessive.
And there’s Bruticus. (Combaticons combined) Thank you oh network that didn’t care about episode order for ruining the new combiner's first appearance. Especially since he’s instantly knocked down with the Empire Strikes Back trick.
Now Superion will take him on. Y’know when everyone in the battle is huge, their size is less impressive. The Aerialbots won by separating, that shows some thinking. Blowing up all of the country’s oil fields as they free them from the Decepticons? Not so much.
GASP! Hassan is the Prince!?! 
What. A. Twist.
Was that convincing?

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