Transformers Rewatch Beast Wars Season 2C

Bad Spark

We start off with Cheetor finding a broken, massively oversized, pod with a big “X” on it crashed in an Energon cube pile, in a swamp. I’m sure it will be fine.The amount of cross spying between Megatron and the two spiders has reached ludicrous levels.
Optimus Primal is revealing “The dark secret of the Axalon’s journey” HEY! HE SAID THE NAME!!!! And I’ve been spelling it wrong all this time. *does quick search and replace*
Anyway, the Dark Secret- The Maximals tried to recreate Starscream’s indestructible Spark and accidentally made an insane monster. Therefore, they planned to dump it in space. Classy move there. Aren’t you the good guys?
Speaking of classy, Cheetor has a reaction and lets go an Energon fart. That’s… quite the mood shift that is.
Rhinox- “Primus help us all.” First mention of Primus in a show! This series is packed with LORE!
Another moment between our star-crossed Silverbolt and Blackarachnia as he refuses to engage and…OOF! She belts him right in the kisser. So much for that moment.
Man, I guess he does like her, Tarantulas flipped his allegiance and attacked Spider Lady so Silverbolt is kicking the ever loving crap out of him.
And now Silverbolt and Blackarachnia are lost in the swamp together. I have concerns. What a coincidence, his wing is damaged so he can’t fly them out quickly or easily. And my car ran out of gas as we passed lover’s lane, Wolf Boy.

Uh oh, the pod is empty. The scary thing woke up.
Lost in this forbidding swamp, they find a limb of Tarantulas in a tree and Silverbolt drops- “Do not worry, he has been disarmed.” Blackarachnia responds with- “To say the least,” and they both laugh hysterically like a couple of middle schoolers. Maybe they are meant to be? But no, Cheetor is the obviously "young" one. 

Blackarachnia, please stop staring at his butt, it’s weird. Oh wait, she’s aiming her crossbow thing at him, maybe not!
SMILODON ATTACK!!! AAAAH!! This time period and location is so confusing.

After mutually saving each other, they have another moment. I agree with the eavesdropping Predacons. “Yuck.”
“Hey. You were a Maximal.” Given that has meant NOTHING to any of the recovered pod people except you, Silverbolt, that’s a weird take. Oh good, she shot him. Maybe that will stop that particular approach.
Tarantulas, yet again, is in bits. He’s resilient, and will be fine.
The big scary thing is called “Protoform X.” Even in a franchise with a history of awful names, that’s a bad one.
Megatron can make a blade of pure Energon? That sounds like it would have been frequently useful. Why wait until now?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! GIANT CRAB THING!!!!!
Oh, nice block there Wolf Boy. You bounce really good.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! GIANT CRAB THING THAT EATS FEAR!!!!!
Holy crap!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! GIANT TRIPLE CHANGER CRAB TANK THING THAT EATS FEAR!!!!

I may be well above "more than a tad" invested this season.
Nicely placed exploding feather there Silverbolt, nice rescue too. Aw… Silverbolt is completely smitten. And I am completely nauseous. Still, I give them credit for throwing a bunch of character development into what could have been just a "character intro" episode.
Megatron coming straight at the camera with his new knife is terrifying. How did you sleep after watching these, Nineties kids?

Oh good, we’re calling “Protoform X” “Rampage” now. Not great, but an improvement.
Holy crap!!! (Again!) Megatron carved out a chunk of Rampage’s Spark and squeezes it to force the Crab Tank Monstrosity to follow him.
Once again, Megatron- not a moron. And once again- I’m gonna have nightmares. You poor Nineties’ kids.
 
 

Code of Hero

Wow! Prehistoric people!!!! The cradle of human civilization. Now we truly know about when and where this show takes place. (If we ignore ALL the animals that clearly do not fit in that time frame or location.)
Also, WOW! The CGI of anything remotely human is beyond "The Rock" as the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns awful.

I will continue only calling them “prehistoric” because between the vague timing and the horrible art, there is no way to assign them to an actual hominid group. The script calls them “Neanderthals” and I have neither the time nor the energy to explain all the paleontological, geographical, sociological or anthropological reasons why that is wrong.
And a snake just killed one of them. Alas. Is that why the crows fly in “missing man” formation? Weird.

To keep the cheery theme. Dinobot’s personal struggles have him contemplating Seppuku. Have a nice afternoon Nineties’ kids! Did someone hug you after this?
The transwarp explosion wave is going to reach Cybertron “soon” in a calculated number of “cycles.” I’m pretty sure there’s no definition of “soon” that works for the time bending nature of what is going on.
Dinobot is going off on his own because Rattrap is being a jerk about him switching sides. Unlike Cheetor who is a jerk out of clueless insensitivity, Rattrap is deliberate. That’s how you know he and Dinobot are really friends. Especially since Dinobot considers Ratrrap’s words as part of his continuing existential crisis, noting they have, “The stench of truth.”
Why is he armed in Beast Mode? Guns don’t kill Cybertronians, Oversized Velociraptors with Guns kill Cybertronians.

Are Megatron and Rampage just out taking a stroll?

Tarantulas (WHAT DOES HE KNOW?) is still in his new Hidey Hole, popping out occasionally to eat animals. (HOW DOES THAT WORK?)
Dinobot got the drop on Tarantulas and needs to know about the Golden Disk information. (OK, so he knows that, but I feel there’s more.) Somehow, Dinobot sitting and riding Tarantulas in Spider-cycle mode looks even dumber than when he rides the smaller Rat-dragster.
Megatron found the valley that is the cradle of human civilzation! AAAH! 

His laser pliers become a disk player. Handy. Ah, because it is from the future, the Golden Disk shows images of the future. Over on the side, another, of what will be many, Rampage rebellion is not going well.

Whoah, Megatron blew up a mountain with a single shot.
Double Whoah, the image of it on the Disk projection vanished. We are in a mutable timeline continuity!

According to Megatron, Thanks to humans, the Autobots won the Great War. Spike, Carly Daniel and Chip  (RIP, my man) for the win!
I believe that is the fourth boulder Dinobot has dropped on Tarantulas. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
With a truly impressive speech and pose, Dinobot abandons his concerns of Determinism. Pretty weighty topics for after school, no?

All the Predacons are here to wipe out the beginnings of humanity in this valley. The Maximals are a comin’ but it will be a while.

Fortunately, existential crisis behind him, Dinobot opens up one of the franchises LARGEST cans of whoop-ass ever displayed.
And since he knows “Do NOT mess with The Loon,” the first thing he does is render Inferno headless again.

Blackarachnia’s considerable firepower shows Dinobot’s weird spinny shield thing actually works while he shoots her down. 

OW! He jumped on Waspinator, flattening him again and then stuffed him into Rampage’s giant cannon. Poor little doofus.

Not gonna lie, Dinobot’s looking a smidge on the blown up side, how’s he going to face Quickstrike with no power? 

Quickstrike- “What is a warrior without weapons.”
Dinobot- “A warrior still.” *POUND* WOO!
This may be the most hardcore kid's cartoon episode I’ve ever seen.
Dinobot is going into Stasis Lock. OOOH, so that’s how they survive being blown to bits. Wait, he’s overriding it. AAAAAAAAAH!! (Did I mention this season picked up the investment a bunch?)

Megatron, still not a moron, has gone full Queen mode, and also has (prehistoric) hostages.
Dinobot goes after him with a stick. I have a bad feeling about this. And rightly so.
Wait! He put a rock on the stick. That shouldn’t work, but there’s no way they’d negate Dinobot’s moment now.
Aaaaand that’s both Golden Disks gone.

Hey Optimus! You and the Maximals are a shade late to this party. The whole valley is on fire. Oh, it’s fine. Cheetor has rainbow pee that put it out. Wait, what?
Dinobot is too far gone!!! NO!! You poor Nineties kids. And poor Rattrap, he’s gonna be broken.
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence." 

DINOBOT!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO! 

(Yes, I am openly weeping over a badly animated follow up to a show designed solely to sell toys. Also- Shut Up.)

(And yes, Dad, I do know they are fictional. Happy birthday. Miss you every day.)

Dinobot’s Spark flies away. Imagine how many of those we would have seen in The Movie if Sparks had been invented.
“His Spark will join the Matrix.” Optimus, are we forgetting that was emptied again?
The flying Maximals are in a Missing Man formation while Dinobot’s body is on a pyre. You poor, poor Nineties’ kids

Ah, now the prehistoric human kills the snake with the stick and rock hammer left behind. Dinobot is responsible for the first human weapon. He’d be so proud. *Sniff*

As can be inferred by the level of detail and number of images for this one- my investment in this series as it progresses has gone off the charts. 

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