What if Dr. Seuss was a Dirty Old Man

This one started as a story of the only bachelor party I ever went to that I was never happy with.  It wasn't my style in general and never came out right.  One night I forgot my reflux medication and woke up at 3am with this fully formed in my head. (Which indicates there's probably some other medication I should be on)

Ode to a Gentlemen’s Club

With reluctance I go

            To a bachelor party,

Then with folded arms sit

            Like a grumpy old farty.         

You Never Forget Your First Time

The first time has a magic to each moment that stays with you for your entire life:

The nervous anticipation while waiting for the start.

The over whelming curiosity of whether it will live up to the hype.

The interpersonal connection through shared excitement.

The rising emotions that become more animalistic as time passes.

The total focus on the here and now.

The wild yells and enthusiastic out bursts.

The exhausted post climax satisfaction, leaving behind a goofy grin and a lack of caring about the sticky spot you may be occupying.

And of course:

Standing on the theater seats with a group of seventeen year old buddies to cheer for moments of insane awesomeness and carnage.

Geek Lightning

Times have drastically changed since the ‘50s, now it is no longer the hottest car that is the symbol of male pride and power.   It is in that spirit that I submit this song to commemorate the new ultimate guy toy.

GEEK LIGHTING

(Parody of Greased Lighting by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey)

Why this box is electronic

It's ergonomic

It's po-sitronic

Why it's geek lightning (Geek lightning)

Sometimes, it’s Better to be Lazy

We were having such a nice weekend. 

We had dinner and watched a movie together on Friday night, spent Saturday morning at an elementary school Fun Fair, followed by lunch out, and were home for a brief stop. 

My wife and daughter were attending a bridal shower the next day.  I was going to do some yard work when they prepared, and then help my brother in law with his swing set assembly after they left with my sister and mother.  We planned to continue our time together with another Harry Potter film after church that evening.  My daughter was reading, and my wife was resting. If I had joined either of them, I would have descended into a twenty minute nap and been refreshed for the night.  Instead I descended into a personal version of homeowner hell.

I wandered into the playroom to feed the fish.  My daughter has two mid-sized fancy goldfish in a ten gallon tank.  Nibbles Nakedfish received his first name a year before he was a present from her cousins, back when she first decided she wanted a fish.  He received his last name from my niece based on his loss of color on the drive over when the presentation of him and his bowl kicked us in the butt to get our daughter an aquarium set up.  Once we upgraded to a full tank system, my sister’s family bought her the second fish.  Scribbles received his name upon arrival in the new tank…because it rhymed with Nibbles.

Spoilers: Everyone's OK

Up the Lake: Flashlights

The Power of Darkness

Or

If You Could See What I Can’t

In the odd and always entertaining world of “Up the Lake”, flashlights were a highly functional and valued commodity. 

This is because it got dark at night. 

Sometimes, that's all you get.

Bad Geek Confessions: Spider-Man

Spider-Man:  At times, a case could be made that he was the most popular of all superheros.

An even stronger argument could be made that he never falls out of the top three spots of superhero popularity. 

Now he has a brand new gazillion dollar movie reintroducing him.

While I’m sure I will find it enjoyable, unlike my usual rabid devotion to babble on about these sorts of films, I need to exempt myself from reviewing this movie.

The reason is - I really don’t give a rat’s patootie about Spider-Man.

Star Wars Through a Kid's Eyes: The Originals

The Star Wars watching was going nicely.  I expected to be able to follow up the Prequel Portion of these reviews in short order.  That was not the case, though; as the Rebellion was almost crushed by a foe it had never seen the likes of before:

Harry Potter.

He came from yet another franchise that I had tried to peak my daughter’s interest in for years, which she completely ignored until it came up as part of an after school craft activity.   I originally wanted to read her the books before she saw the movies.  However, since they planned to watch some of the later films in class, she needed to get caught up right away.  We did start reading the books at the same time, and there were enough, “That wasn’t in the movie,” moments in just the first book to guarantee she’ll know which medium Mr. Potter works best in.

Near the end of our magical cinematic journey, her interest in a Galaxy Far Far Away renewed and we were able to finish the saga.

A New Hope