Thursday, June 26, 2014

Buy This Toy... You Have Fifteen Seconds to Comply

Whenever I buy a new action figure, which has become much less often due to the need to put my money towards frivolous things like food and shelter, I get over excited about getting to that new figure vinyl smell.  This leads me to forget to document the packaging, and destroy any chance of creating a proper and “official” review.  Either that or I wait so long for it to be on sale, that anything I’d have to say would be redundant and well after the fact.

Due to a combination of
A) A good performance review.
B) Some extra birthday money. (thanx Mom!)
C) A wife who is tolerant of occasionally unusual uses of the word “need.”

I added a particularly awesome piece to my collection shortly after it was released.

This time, I remembered to photograph all the phases of opening in order to post a timely and detailed review.

Then I forgot about all the pictures I took because I was distracted by…


It’s a couple of months late, but here’s the review of something I “needed” well before it actually existed, dating back to the purchase of the McFarlane Movie Maniacs wave 7 Robocop at the end of 2004.

I naturally assumed there would be an ED-209 in their larger scale, diorama type part of the line, similar to the King Kong and Headless Horseman.

There wasn’t, and aside from some high end “collectibles” selling for hundreds of dollars which even I am not insane enough to acquire, there wasn’t anything else either.

One of the only benefits of the Robocop remake this year was a new license fulfilling this “need” ten years later.

It arrived looking like this:

Let the review begin.


Not counting the ugly shipper carton, this is the proper box for an action figure.

It’s cool looking and has official looking OCP logos and quotes, yet it completely obscures the item. No windows, no display surfaces, to bask in the glory of ED, you have to open the thing.

It doesn’t work as a “protective home” either, unless you enjoy the look of ED-209 in a garage wearing a pink Easter bonnet.

Finally, the figure is held in place with unbreakable twist ties, requiring a diamond edged hack saw and a blowtorch to remove.

In order to experience ED-209, he must unleashed, and remain out of the box.  Like any good toy, he needs to be played with.

SCULPT & PAINT: * * * 1/2*

These are supposed to be two separate sections, but there isn’t much to say about them except:

He looks like ED-209!
Mission accomplished!

I’m taking off half a star, because the scale isn’t quite right with my Robocop.  You can cheat the height a little with the ratcheting leg, but it’s still a little off. (Dang it, I’m bleeding over into articulation, no wonder I never do these.)

This may be an unfair judgment, as it is based on the assumption that this product was designed and created specifically for me.  Then again, with a release date close to my birthday, and the fact that I walked like Robocop for several decades after the original movie was released, it may well have been.


Technically, there isn’t much here.

The aforementioned ratcheting legs allow him to be taller than the box they squeeze him into would normally allow.

The pop up missiles on one arm don’t really pop out all that much.
The body turns side to side a bit.

The legs can move independently, which is great for simulating the multiple ways ED falls over in the films, but not all that fantastic for posing.

However,  the real key to the high rating in this category is the arm articulation.

The guns can swivel some, and in normal use, there isn’t much range to the arms.

However, if the shoulder flaps are lifted up, it extends both the vertical and horizontal ranges of motion.

This allows posing ED-209 in Y.M.C.A. mode, hence the five star rating.


The only low rating I have for this amazing piece is the action feature.

There’s a small, unlabeled, button on one side. I’m embarrassed to admit how long it took me to find it. Let’s just say I poked and prodded most of ED’s bits with no effect other than looking like I was molesting a robotic law enforcement droid for a while, and leave it at that.
I eventually found it, and pressing it produces a series of five movie accurate sounds/sayings:

ED-209 walking
The first “Drop your weapon” warning from the boardroom.
A growl and the second, “Drop your weapon” warning from the board room.
The excessively and entertainingly long cannon firing from the board room.
The “illegally parked” warning with sound effects.

They all sound perfect, and are taken directly from the film.

The failure is two pronged:

A)   They are not loud enough.  Ideally, they should shake the support structures of my home.


B)  He should fire real bullets for the climax of the boardroom scene.

Despite these shortcomings, ED-209, finally, and masterfully fulfilled the "need" created with the purchase of Robocop ten years ago.  Because of the momentous event, they claimed the dining room centerpiece of honor location temporarily from Ghost Rider.

They have since moved downstairs atop the freezer, where Robocop lived previously.

Ghost Rider has to stay as the centerpiece.

Besides the fact that my wife decorates him for Christmas…

He was a gift from my mamita-in-law.

Have I mentioned having a family that is EXCESSIVELY tolerant of occasionally unusual uses of the word “need?”


longbow said...

..who cares if it worked or not!!!!

I've been dying to yell that at someone for 27 years.

Jeff McGinley said...

Thanx! But I've been yelling those lines at people for 27 years. Now I have a prop to add context.

The line from the scene you referenced is in the post linked under "original movie" above.

Thanx again.