Monday, December 15, 2014

George Awards: It’s OK if it Happens to your Finger

This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”

This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.
This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.
End of Warning.

Welcome back to the return of the George Awards, reinstated to commemorate the naming of a street in New York after George Carlin.

Today we’ll start the list proper for the Top Ten most interesting, unexpected or otherwise entertaining uses of “The Finger.”

First off, an honorable mention: Star Trek IV (1986).  This doesn’t make the official list, because it is not “the fingerer” itself that is awesome, but the response of “the fingeree.”  Following a particularly venomous flip off, Spock (Leonard Nimoy) neck pinches this obnoxious, bus riding punk (Associate Producer Kirk Thatcher) into oblivion.  Seems like Iconic Vulcan Neck pinches are often connected with a Kirk.

10th place on the official list pretends to be an “innocent” slip in, but given the actor it obviously isn’t. In fact, I’m sure his upcoming role as Deadpool may require updates to several of these George Awards lists.
 2011’s Green Lantern was neither as good as it should have been, nor bad as it is reputed to be.  One scene poked fun at the normal wearing location of the “most powerful weapon in the universe” that led Green Arrow to once call Hal, “Captain Middle Finger.” (Legends of the DC  Universe issue 7, 1998. Writer- Denny O'Neil)
In the scene where Hal is showing the ring to his buddy Tom, Ryan Reynolds tosses in this gem of a one nailed salute.


Keanu Reeves comes in at the number 9 spot for his appearance as Mr. Anderson in The Matrix (1999).  The Neo hidden inside him blossoms  in response to Agent Smith’s (Hugo Weaving) offer:

“We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”

“Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal.
But I think I may have a better one.
How about, I give you the finger
and you give me my phone call.”

Of course a Mel Brooks film has to make the list.  George Award Number 8 is from 1987’s Spaceballs.
John Candy in a fluffy suit as Barf (short for Barfolomew) making kissy faces while flipping off some guards in order to lead them into the Space Winnebago to be beaten senseless.

I think that’s all that needs to be said.

For 7th place we have a browbeaten subordinate villain allowing the viewers to live vicariously through his angered extension of the deadly digit to his boss from the “too awesome to get a sequel” 1984 hoot and a half known as The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
John Bigbooté (Christopher Lloyd) sticks it to Lord John Whorfin (John Lithgow).

A more recent foray into the same arena comes in at number 6 from 2013’s improvement over the previous installment - G. I. Joe Retaliation.
This George still goes to a bad guy- this one not saluting his boss, but definitely a disliked co worker ranked above him.  A higher spot is granted to Ray Stevenson’s Firefly for using both hands, and adding in quite the charming little flourish.

And with that charming little flourish, I’m basically giving all my fine readers the finger by telling them to come back next week for the top five, as I stretch this foolishness out far longer than it needs to in hopes of keeping up two posts every seven days without killing myself.

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