Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Ballad of the Former Other Superboy

A little background:

In the Superman comics I wasted most of my energy on (the semi consistant DC Universe between the Crisis on Infinite Earths and Flashpoint  reboots for the geekly saavy) Before the reboot), Clark was never Superboy, his powers mostly only manifested fully as an adult.

However in 1993 when superman died (A little, he got better, don’t ask.), some folks at a place called Cadmus tried to clone Superman, resulting in a new Superboy.

This Superboy had genetically engineered telekinesis based abilities to simulate Superman's powers. (Don't ask)

Since he was artificially created the only name he had was “Superboy”.

In 1998 Superman later took him to the Fortress of Solitude to visit a virtual version of Krypton (Don’t Ask) and ended up giving him the Kryptonian name Kon-El based on one of his ancestors.

The story of where the cloning material came from changed about three time even before the reboot, and he may or may not be a (partial) clone of superman, the director of Cadmus, and/or Lex Luthor depending on the writer. (Don’t ask.)

He got another name sometime around 2003, I could look it up, but those of you who care probably know the date better than I do, and those who don’t stopped reading four paragraphs ago. I know it was before he died in 2005 in Interim Crisis, sorry that’s Infinite Crisis (And got better too, really don’t ask.)

Anyhoo, he ended up living in Smallville with Jonathan and Martha Kent, posing as a relative and using the "secret" identity name of Conner. 

Around that time, I stumbled on an on-line discussion asking if he looks exactly like Clark did as a teenager (being a clone and all) wont people in Smallville notice this?  Someone suggested that because he's Clark's cousin no one would find it unusual.

This song then popped into my head fully formed.
Apologies to Patty Duke as I parody the theme song to her show.

Meet Clarky, who's flown everywhere,
From Metrop-lis to Gotham Square.
But Connor hasnt seen the sights.
Grown in a tube while wearing tights--
What a super pair!

But they're cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
They wear a matching S-shield,
One has tac-tile TK.

Where Clark always comes from Krypton,
A planet all blown up and gone,
Our Conner's past is a mish mash,
His cloning source has been re-hashed--
Maybe he's a pawn!

Still, they're cousins,
Identical cousins who are swell,
They try alike, they fly alike,
Make evil plans awry alike --

Smallville's where they dwell,

Those couuuuuu- sins

from the house of EEEEEEL!

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