Thursday, October 22, 2020

Werewolf of London through a Kid’s Eyes

My pointing out this was an old one before they got the hang of how to do  werewolves  was what enticed Anabelle back to Universal Monsters.  Whatever works.  

A little early for Halloween, but none of us knows what day it is anymore anyway.

On the Location used:
Me- “Hey look, Vasquez rocks, where the Gorn was.”
Anabelle- “The Gorn was not in Tibet.
There are a lot of rock structures that look like that.
We’ve seen many places that look similar in movies."
On the transport method the group uses:
“Camels are werewolves in disguise.”
On the Marifasa Lupine flower they are hunting:
“That sounds like a werewolf infecting plant.”
On the archaic term for laborers used to reference asking the guides which way to go:
“I got a feeling in my coolie we should go that way.” *shakes butt*
On the lack of impressiveness of the explorers:
“One of these two is gonna be like ‘A werewolf plant. Let’s eat it.’
Have you seen them?”
On Wilfred the botanist staggering around in the dark:
“The werewolf is invisible?
Or he’s drunk.
Or not a good actor.”
On the first appearance of the minimal makeup Werewolf:
“What is that? The shadow looks like King Kong.”
On Lisa, Wilfred’s wife:
Anabelle- “I like her.”
Lisa- “You should divorce me and marry a laboratory.”
Anabelle- “She’s awesome.”
On Aunt Ettie freaking out over a Venus Fly Trap:
“How do you live in a world without knowing what that is?
I do like her though.”
On Lisa’s ex, Paul showing up:
“Divorce your husband. He’s the worst.
And his name is Wilfred.”
On Wilfred going to his lab and avoiding Doctor Yogami:
“I hate Wilfred.
Talk to the guy Wilfred.
Its your party in your house.
He is the worst.”
On Paul asking, “Lee, what’s happened to you” based on Lisa being much less excitement and fun loving than she was:
On Wilfred saying he “gave up belief” in monsters and fantastical things:
“One literally attacked you.”
On pausing the hour and fifteen-minute film when she thought it was almost over:
“Twenty-eight minutes!
This was a mistake.”
On Lisa asking Wilfred, “What on earth is the matter?”
“He’s a psychopath Lisa.
Don’t come back.”
On Wilfred panicking when he starts to transform:
Anabelle- “It’s only your hands that are hairy. Stop freaking out.
Now where’s he going?”
Rosa- “For a razor.”
On the werewolf “disguising” himself with a cap and cloak:
“Oh Lord. That’s not gonna work.
Hey, it’s Wilfred the werewolf!”
On the reactions to the howls and attacks:
Lisa- “What’s that horrible sound?”
Anabelle- “Your husband.”
On Rosa seeing Paul after she came in late:
Rosa- “Who’s that?”
Anabelle- “They guy she didn’t marry.
She should have, Wilfred is terrible.”
On Aunt Ettie screaming uncontrollably:
“I love her.”
On reading the “Mysterious Goose Lane Murder” too fast:
“There’s a Mysterious goose?”
On extraneous scenes:
“This movie could be under an hour if they cut out the weird conversations.”
On Wilfred commenting that Lisa “found someone sufficiently pleasant to make up for it”
When he won’t take her out again:
Anabelle- “Oh snap.”
*Lisa tells him off*
Anabelle- *Applause and cheers*
Rosa- *snickers wickedly*
On my telling Anabelle the Wolf Man movies get way better than this:
“This is the worst one? I’m having a ball!”
On Mrs. Whack and Mrs. Moncaster’s loopy, belligerent, and drunken conversation:
“What does this have to do with anything?
She’s eating her hat.”
*Mrs. Moncaster punches out Mrs. Whack*
*Laughs and falls off couch.”
On Wilfred telling Mrs. Moncaster that he’s “More single than I imagined:”
“’Cause you suck.”
On Mrs. Moncaster’s babbling:
“What is happening?
‘My husband used to beat me here’s your room.’
On the transition done partially with lighting but mostly with swap outs:
Anabelle- “And SHIFT!”
Rosa- “Giggles*
On Mrs. Moncaster and Mrs. Whack continuing to knock each other out:
Rosa- “They’re beating each other? Why?”
Anabelle- “I have no words.”
*Mrs. Whack looks in the room Wilfred just jumped out the window of and screams*
“Why is she screaming when there’s nothing in there?”
On the Zoo, guard fooling around with his mistress:
“What does this have to do with anything?!?!”
On the mistress seeing a perfect image of the werewolf sneaking up to her in her compact:
Rosa- “She’s watching TV.”
On Doctor Yogami showing up again:
“Oh good.
It’s been too long since we’ve seen a relevant member of this movie.”
On noticing, they’ve been saying "Lycanthrophobia:"
“That’s not the right word.”
On Wilfred telling the caretaker of Lisa’s family mansion to lock him in a room:
“Seems a bit of a strange request after not seeing him for years.”
On Lisa telling Paul it is “You who are making me unhappy:”
“That is false it is Wilfred”
On Paul stopping the werewolf attack by hitting him with a stick:
“That was highly anti-climactic.
Hey, I just realized, he’s a ‘were-wilf’.”
After the long phone montage of exposition about where everyone is:
“The end.”
On Lisa recognizing Wilfred instantly in his transformed state:
“She seems very calm for her husband turning into a werewolf.”
On the police showing up and shooting Wilfred:
Rosa- “That’s it? They killed him? What about a silver bullet?”
Me- “That’s not until the next movie”
Anabelle- “Uh. *deadpan* Wow. What an incredible death scene.”
Rosa- *Snorts.*
Anabelle- “That’s it? What happens now?
Did Lisa and Paul get together? They should.”
On the overall experience:
“I rate it a ten out of ten.
 Just kidding it’s a one.”

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