Thursday, June 9, 2022

The Mummy's Tomb Through a "Kid's" Eyes


L
on Chaney Jr. takes the role of the titled monster... 
again. 

He brings so much soul to the part, as always. Yet, sadly, when they recycled the already recycled Ancient Egypt footage in any of his three turns as Kharis, they didn't bother to add him in.  

Wow, the whole film is only an hour long and they spend twelve minutes showing scenes from the last movie.

Andoheb is the same from the Mummy's Hand, I had no idea these all connected too. It would have been nice to bring him into the mix with the others before Monster Squad. 
 
On the flashback:
Rosa- "What's he doing?"
Me- "Brewing the Tana Leaves. This is literally scenes from other movie."
Rosa- "Why?"
Me- "To remind us what happened."
Rosa- "He’s going to kill him!"
Me- "Yes, we saw it already."
Rosa- "Oh yeah, I remember Babe.
Is he going to narrate the whole last movie?"
Me- "Yup. This is before
 VCRs, discs and streaming were invented
The only way to see the last film was is in the theater a couple years earlier."
Rosa- "Oh yeah. There's the dummy rolling down the stairs.
The Mummy is drinking the Tana juice like a doggie."
*Makes slurp noises*
*The Tanis juice is knocked over and Kharis and the floor are set on fire*
"I guess the drink is flammable."
 
On Andoheb surviving getting shot:
 Rosa- "That’s the one who fell down the stairs? He’s alive? 
*Sighs*
 Me- "His old age makeup is really good."
*the scene changes*
Me- "The tomb explorer guys' old age makeup, eeeh not so much."
 

On Andoheb dying of old age:
Rosa- "He’s dead. ? Awwww."
Me- "You cheered when they shot him last time."
Rosa- "Hmmmm."
 
On  Bey brewing the Tana leaves:
Rosa- "Oh. He's woken up again."
*Bey says he'll be making more later*
Rosa- "He just patted the Mummy's head."
 
On the combination of horror tropes:
Me- "The Mummy is still connected to the moon, howling animals, and graveyards."
 
On how Kharis is used:
Rosa- "He just kills people."
Me- "He does what he's ordered to."
Rosa- "The guy said, 'Your work begins.' 
What’s the work? - Killing."
 
On the Mummy having easy access:
Rosa- "Why doesn't anyone close their windows?"
Me- "There were no air conditioners back then?"

On the victims pretty much standing there so the Mummy can slowly get them:
Rosa- "RUN!*
*sigh*
"Gee, he caught you? Really?"
 *another victim*
"RUN!  Oh he died of a heart attack.
Wait the sister was there and the Mummy missed her?"
Bey- *to Kharis*- "Now you can rest."
Rosa- "You killed the wrong people."
 
On Babe coming to town and getting attacked by the Mummy:
Rosa- "Run!  Don't wait for him! 
He cannot run!
Of course, you run right into a dead end trap!"
Me- "Wow. Everyone we liked from the last movie is now dead. 
What a cheery film.
I thought that didn't happen until Eighties horror."
 
On the scientist finding the wrapping:
Rosa- "Look! He told them!"
*They identify the mold*
Rosa- "That's what Babe told you!"
The Police- "Babe was right, we didn't listen."
Rosa- "Yes you nincompoop, after they told you three hundred times!"
 
On Bey staring longingly at Isobell:
 Rosa- "Did he just fall in love with the girl too?"
*Sigh*

On Kharis who has one arm wrapped sling like, being sent to get Isobel:
Rosa- " How is he going to bring her if he only has one arm. By the hair?"
Did the guy give the Mummy directions? 
An address?"
*Kharis approaches the house with Isobel*
Rosa- "Everyone leaves their windows open. 
There’s a killer on the loose. I’d close my window."
*Kharis is in her room*
Rosa- "OK, Now open your eyes and yell."
*Kharis picks her up*
Rosa- " How is he using the arm he cannot use? 
Can you explain that to me?"

On the angry mob of villagers:
Me- "They were pretty quick to assemble with clubs and torches for 1940's Massachusetts."
 
On Kharis trying to keep Isobel from Bey:
Rosa - " I think the Mummy is going to save her. 
No don’t give her the whatever things."
Me- "Tana leaves?"
Rosa- "Yes, those."
*Kharis takes her away*
Rosa- "Aaaand he's using the arm again."

On Bey being shot:
Rosa- "That was faster than last time.
He died like he had gas."

On Kharis carrying the girl away for the final confrontation in her home:
Rosa- "Why can’t they get to him since he walks 
veeeeerry sloooooooowly?
 Look at him carrying her with his broken arm."
*Kharis tries to strangle Isobel's rescuer*
Rosa- "OOH! look out! The mold hand!"
 *The mob uses their torches*
Rosa- "They're burning the house down...with her in it."
*Our heroes very awkwardly work their way around Kharis to escape the burning house*
Rosa- "That scene was weird."
*Kharis is now alone in the flames*
Rosa- "Now burn. Yeah that works...
He's not really on fire though, is he?"
*No body is found*
Rosa- "He'll be back in a couple of years, you'll see."

On Isobel and John's Wedding:
Rosa- "This is a pretty festive couple considering his whole family is dead 
and his house burned down.
There's no mourning at all." 

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