Monday, July 31, 2023

Sinbad And The Eye of the Tiger Through a Kid's Eyes

Thanx to Funny Steve for recommending this one to Anabelle and keeping the viewing going!

On fashion in these films:
"And we’re starting with ugly pants."
On Zenobia's over emotive spell on Kassim:
"Tone it down, girl."
On the cast change:
"It's a different Sinbad. I liked the other one. 
I liked the naked girl too.
I guess he's giving Sinbad energy...
*Patrick Wayne speaks more*
Or not.
At least  the last guy was trying with the accent."
On Sinbad's armament:
"Ah, I love a good scimitar."
On Zenobia's ghouls:
"What is that. They make me uncomfortable. Why does she have snake eyes?"
 *the ghouls are fought*
"Why did they think they were gonna stab the demons, and it would work?
 Do they have crosses? 
Wait. Wrong religion. It’s easy to forget."
On Jayne Seymore's arrival:
*Yells* "I'm sick of these naked women."
On SInbad's robe:
"What is that?!"
On Sinbad asking for Jayne Seymore's hand:
"What about his adventuring, sailing life? 
Wait, what’s happened to that slave girl?"
On children's TV show from her childhood flashbacks:
"The one working with the evil witch was named Rafi. 
Makes ya think doesn’t it?"

On Jayne Seymore refusing to go into the danger:
"Not going? The last naked woman was more useful.
She is going I take that back. I liked the last naked woman better though. 
She was fun and had that eye on her hand that meant nothing."
On Jayne Seymore's odd traveling companion:
"She has a baboon. Why are you bringing it on the ship?"

On the yellow, stop motion Minotaur's arrival:
"It looks like it's made of margarine."
*it is revealed to be a precious metal*
"Oh it’s gold. I can’t believe it’s not butter."
On Sinbad's vessel:
"His ship looks the same."
On the Chess game with the baboon:
*extremely long pause*
"This is a little weird."
On the crew complaining about Jayne Seymore and her baboon:
"Leave this woman alone. 
I don’t like her but cut her some slack."
On the reveal that the baboon is Jayne Seymore's cursed brother:
All this time I’ve been defending her pet baboon.
*Baboon writes "I am Kassim."*
"I hate this movie.
It is the princess and the frog. Except it’s a baboon."
On the giant gold minotaur sneaking by the crew:
"You guys suck."
 *It is revealed to be "Minoton."*
"That’s a dumb name."
*Scene where Minoton is a guy in a suit*
 "The stop motion looks better."
On costuming:
"He changed. 
She changed too, she's wearing clothes for a change.
And he's wearing a rug."
On the plot of the film:
"So the plot of this movie is bring stuff to the guy 
so he’ll turn the baboon into not a baboon 
so Sinbad can marry the baboon's sister… 
*thoughtful stop*
who is not a baboon."

On old school effects:
"The costume colors are very different in close up blue screen and far away location shots. And the main two are the only ones on blue screen. 
You never see their faces in the location shots.
I don't think they were there."

On the person who can magically fix the baboon:
*Dionne appears*
Anabelle- "Is Melanthius a woman. That would be slay."
*Adventurers ask, "Is that him?"*
Anabelle- "Dang it."
*Dionne does weird meditation thing*
Anabelle- "What’s in God's name is she doing?"
Rosa *closes eyes* "This."
Anabelle- "Thanks, Mom."
"She’s sick of them. So relatable."
 *Melanthius enters, it is Patrick Troughton*
Anabelle- " Oh. Hey!"
*Dionne changes clothes and focuses on Kassim*
Anabelle- (As Melanthius) "Why is my daughter so smitten with a baboon.
Girl that’s not what you were wearing 2 seconds ago."
*We learn they are alchemists*
Anabelle- (The chemistry major) "Oh Christ."
On Kassim's horrified reaction to a mirror:
"How would you not notice you’re a baboon?
I would notice. 
What did he think everyone was talking about?"
*Dionne comforts him*
"She really is in love with the baboon."
On other baboon thoughts:
Me - "If everyone knows he’s not a baboon why is he in a cage?"
Anabelle- "I wish I knew."
*they mention he will become more animalistic*
Anabelle- "This is Brave but with Sinbad."
On Melanthius's lab:
"No one is going to comment on the thirty million animals he has? 
How many used to be human?"
*Patrick Troughton gets over excited about his experiments*
"Is he okay?"
 *Chemical craziness happens*
"What was that? You’re going to blow up Kassim!"
On casting:
"This guy is not as Sinbad-y as the last film.
I think if this movie had the last Sinbad and naked woman it would be 10 out of 10."
On Zenobia's spell to follow the heroes:
"Is she going to turn into a baboon?"
*She turns into a seagull*
*Anabelle pauses movie*
She’s not a baboon.
 Remember when I said this could be a 10 out of 10...I take that back."
*Zenobia changes back and is now tiny*
"What?  How? 
This is giving pirate fairy vibes."

On the Jewels around Kassim's cage:
"They look like Swedish fish."

On everyone telling Kassim to stop when he's the only one who sees the tiny witch:
"You guys suck."
On Jayne Seymore changing again:
"How many outfits did she bring?
The other naked girl only had two outfits."
On Melanthius bringing a jar of bees with him on the ship:
"Why does he have bees?
'Oh, we’re going on a sea voyage. Let me bring my jar of bees.'"
*Zenobia does some spell thing at Melanthius*
"Is she hypnotizing him? Throw her in the bee jar!"
*The potion is given to the bee*
"What if the bee turns into a person."
*It does not*
"Oh. It’s a giant bee. 
Why in God's name... 
excuse me, Sinbad movie...
Why in Allah's name would you feed it to a bee?"
On Zenobia turning back to a gull and escaping during the giant bee thing:
"Kill the bird first."
*Sinbad does not*
"You clown."

On Zenobia's son Rafi, who is helping her evil plan, being the actor from Golden Voyage:
 "Maybe he got sick of being called useless son. 
You know who they should have brought back? 
The naked girl. 
I may have said that."

On Zenobia's botched transformation back:
"Does she have bird legs? I’m going to die laughing."
*she has one seagull lower leg*
*laughs uncontrollably
sings bird foot song*
On Kassim becoming more animalistic during a chess game:
"I told you chess was first thing to go. 
I am a baboon expert."

On Melanthius's fur wrapped outfit in the arctic:
"Patrick Troughton turned into the Yeti he fought."
 *our heroes have a hard time through the snowy wasteland*
"Hey, remember the Planet Earth with penguins?
 Maybe the camera people making this film should help them?"

On the arctic monster:
*very long pause*
It’s a walrus."

On a popular social media platform:
"I got the baboon in my Be Real!"
On the Troglodyte:
Anabelle- "What is that?"
Me- "An Ogre?" 
Anabelle- "It doesn’t look like Shrek."
*Scottish accent*
"Get out of my swamp."
*Melanthius's daughter is sent to talk to the Troglodyte*
Anabelle- "Why are you making Dionne speak to him?"
Me- "She’s good with primates."
Anabelle- *angry glare*
"Can somebody get them clothes. 
Girl! Stop petting the baboon."

On Sinbad's outfit with a loose fitting paisley shirt and his outfits in general:
"He's dressed like he's going to roller disco.
Oooh, there are lots of costume changes in this one. 
I like Dionne’s clothes, 'cause she has them."

On noticing green screen outlines on the rock face:
"Because the Troglodyte needs to open the door.
Like the Bumble putting the star on."
On casting:
Me- "Hey, the Minoton is an uncredited Peter (Chewbacca) Mayhew."
Anabelle- "His finest role."

On Zenobia's strange gait:
"Why is she hobbling? 
Oh yeah. Bird foot."

On Zenobia yelling at her animated statue:
"He's working!
Work it Minoton!"
*He gets crushed*
I've been watching this to see him redeemed!"

On the location to cure Kassim:
"Why is there always a magic pool?
Oh look, the anti baboon-ing cage."
On Zenobia's arrival:
"Why is she here? 
I forgot the whole plot.
*Her son is killed*
Come on lets speed this up"
*Zenobia's bird foot is clearly revealed*
"Anyone gonna point that out?"

On the time for reaching de-babooning light near the fountain running out:
"Kassim, dude, you gotta hustle."
 *Zenobia is there*
"Stick her foot in the light."

On poor Minoton:
"I was expecting big awesome fight.
Minoton deserved better.
He should have had a big awesome fight, 
instead of the stupid bee scene."

On Kassim entering the light:
"Did it not work? It looks like he’s on fire.
 Are his feet ok?"

On another frozen creature revealed:
"Its another baboon!
Oh no, it's a lion.
No, a saber tooth...
This *dramatic pause* is Ice Age."
On the heroes' role:
Anabelle- "Why is Sinbad here?
He hasn’t done anything."
Me- "He killed the bee."
Anabelle- "Yeah, when they told him not to."
On Zenobia transferring herself into the saber tooth with a close up on their eyes:
Me- "I guess that’s the eye of tiger."
Anabelle- "Oh yeah. Minoton should have done this fight.
Hey, shouldn't she still have her bird foot?"
On the magic cavern exploding and collapsing:
What if someone else gets turned into a baboon?"

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