The Disney Dream Crusher Rolls On

With the introduction of the Teargeekers, I thought it would be a good time to look back at a more conventional weep inducing film, the triumphant return of Disney’s classic 2D “hand drawn” feature animation.

Translation: I don’t have a real post prepared, requiring the need to dig up an out of date movie review.

We took our child to see The Princess and the Frog over her Christmas break the year it was released.

I have to say that is proved that Lassiter and the Pixar guys certainly had Disney animation running back on all thrusters again.

The movie had the great music of the Aristocats-Jungle Book era films, with the magic of the old fairy tales, some modern sensibility and humor, fantastic classic style animation and good ole' talking animals.

In the recent, Broadway show style Disney animated films, frequently the villain songs seemed out of place, or at least oddly planted.  Since Doctor Facilier was a showy voodoo-con man, his musical numbers worked well into the story, and were some of my favorites in the film.

Keith David proved his booming voice can do much more than just holler threats at Rowdy Roddy Piper during an endlessly long, yet awesome,  fight scene.

My daughter loved the movie and was laughing singing and clapping along with the festivities until...

Spoilers to follow...

Seriously…

Big spoilers.

And a near incoherent rant....

Last chance,

Beware of spoilers and ranting,

I’d turn back if I were you.

You've been warned...

Until... ONE OF THE MAIN AND MOST LOVEABLE HEARTWARMING CHARACTERS @&%$ING DIES ON CAMERA!!!!!!!

Ray:

The hopelessly romantic firefly that is in love with the wishing star.

Ray:

The only one who doesn't lose his optimism, when all is dark and everyone else thinks they've been betrayed, or chose to give up their happily ever after for practical reasons.

Ray:

Who saves everyone’s bacon in the big climax and proves that true love is real.

That Ray.

The little bastion of hope, and symbol of love facing any obstacle gets stepped on and noisily crunched by the evilly grinning, mockingly gloating bad guy.

But does it end there?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Then he’s seen quivering in front of all his friends still spouting the virtues of love and happily ever after until he

GASPS HIS LAST BREATH AND CLOSES HIS EYES!!!

And then, do they quell the crying masses of children (and adults) in the crowd by having the wishing star immediately come down in the guise of angelic firefly to quickly lighten the mood, and relieve the horribly scarred masses?

Of course not, this is Disney.

Instead they show a GINORMOUS Louisiana Freakin’ Firefly Funeral.  The festivities complete with:

Sad music

Crying characters

and

Ray placed into a little leaf boat allowing everyone on screen and off to sob together as we watch his dimmed light float tragically down the bayou.

Needless to say, by the time the clouds parted showing the wishing star was now paired with a second star, to cheers of the firefly hordes, my daughter was far too much of a basket case to notice - or frankly even comprehend the meaning of - this appearance, or in fact any of the rest of the "happily ever after" parts of the story.

At least Bambi's mom bought it off screen.

Disclaimer: 

The movie really was wonderful...but I get a much funnier post when I come off as a raving lunatic.