Thursday, November 20, 2014

Godzilla Through a Kid’s Eyes – Heisei

Now it’s time for a child’s views of the more serious and adult (sorta) Heisei series of Godzilla films.  Since I’ve already posted far too much about the King of Monsters, we’ll stick to some reaction quotes on these.

On the reappearing drunk yelling at the title character, “There really is no need for a comic relief in a Godzilla film.”

On the technological advance of the twenty foot Godzilla robot used instead of a guy in a suit in some scenes, “That’s creepy.”

On the whole notion of luring the Big G with bird calls, “This is confusing.”

On the Plucky Reporter, “She’s pretty, but useless.”

On the Super X, “Not really cool, just a flying saucer. “

On the Scientist’s speech when sending Godzilla home, “Unexpectedly powerful.”

On the jazzy electric guitar enhanced score, “Catchy!”

On Godzilla’s new appearance in general, “Ugly.”

On Godzilla’s new appearance- specifically his double row of teeth, “Cool!”

On Miki, “Pretty but big ears.”

On Miki’s psychic link with Godzilla and plants, “Really?”

On Biollante, “Creepy.”

On the futurians ship, “It’s like a super scientific playroom.”

On the Gojirasaurus, “He’s ugly, oh wait, so is Godzilla now…why does he have brown eyes?”

On Mecha-King Ghidorah, “Rainbow breath, that’s even better.”

On the whole time travel, possible suicide craziness, “This is a little confuzzling.”

On Emi hitting on her ancestor, “She’s pretty, but eeeeeeewwww.”

On herself being inconsistent, “Why did they put in a Tarzan yell?”  *shortly followed by her yelling “CANNONBALL” when Godzilla jumped into the water.*

On the Mothra larva, “She’s ugly…and Godzilla is still ugly.”

On the corporate head asking why he has to suffer, “Cause you’re a butt!”

On the Big G’s breath weapony appearance from beneath the sea, “That’s quite a dramatic entrance.”

On Mothra’s appearance from the cocoon, “Cute!  And dramatic too!”

On Mothra’s ‘last defense,’ “Magic dust, YAY!”

On Battra’s explosive transformation, “HOLY COW that was awesome…but he’s still ugly.”

On the Cosmos, “My gosh, their flying looks wrong.  I like the old Shobijin.”

On the relationships in this film, “This is the most romantic movie I’ve ever seen.  Miki is completely in love with Godzilla.”

She then proceeded to describe and act out what their wedding would be like. I can’t recount it here because:
1) It would lose too much without seeing her demonstrations.
2) I fell off the couch laughing and had to stop taking notes.

On watching it in Japanese instead of dubbed, “Funnier this way.”

On Rodan’s new voice, “He sounds like a dying seal.”

On Rodan’s new appearance, “He looks like Figment.”

On Rodan’s flight into Tokyo, “It’s like Soarin’ with Rodan!”
(Yes, two Disney references in one Kaiju film…that’s my girl!)

On Rodan reviving due to the music from the psychic kids, “The song woke up scary old Figment…and gave him Rainbow Breath!!!”

On Rodan being shot down repeatedly, “He’s dead again?  He’s like Rory.”

On Miki blowing up Godzilla’s sacral brain, “She killed her boyfriendish!”

On Rodan being revived by a song (again) turning into magic dust and merging with/reviving Godzilla, “what.”

On the Big G’s new, Rodan powered crazy-explodey-super-energized red breath weapon, “Oh My Word!”

On Miki and Godzilla’s farewell moment, “How sad.”

To prove my wife was actually paying attention to these films, and not subjected to them completely against her will:
At the non sequiter cameo of the actresses who play the Cosmos- my wife asked,
“What are the singing girls doing there?”

On the return of Mothra and the Cosmos, “YAY!”

On little Godzilla, “He’s sooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.  But Godzilla is still ugly.”

On the jerky (and eventually evil) scientist, “He’s a butt.”

On Miki’s voice being dubbed again after watching one in Japanese, “Now she sounds wrong.”

On serious guy hitting on Miki, “She’s already in love with Godzilla.”

On the tiny talking Mothra, “That’s scary…and they’re very dramatic.”

On Miki randomly developing telekinesis, “Um…what?  Um…what? (Repeat many times)  Wow, she’s awesome!”

On the TV Reporter’s hyperactive speech patterns, “Hey, take a breath.”

On MOGUERA’s ability to separate into two vehicles, “What just happened?”

On Crazy Guy’s screaming kamikaze run with MOGUERA, “He looks like he’s pooping.”

On explanations of MOGUERA or Space Godzilla’s origins, or Plan T or ANYTHING ‘technical,’ “What?”

On Miki’s telepathy only working on plants and radioactive monsters, “That’s useful.”

On Godzilla smithereensing Space Godzilla with his Rodan powered crazy-explodey-super-energized red breath weapon, “Impressive!  But he’s still ugly.”

On Miki holding hands with Serious Guy, “Hmmm, she really does like him.  I guess it's her human guy. But they still aren’t very romantic.”

On the movie in general, “Little Godzilla should have been in it a lot more, ‘cause he’s reaaaaaally cuuuuute.”

Again, to prove my wife was actually paying attention to these films, and not subjected to them completely against her will:

She showed visible (and audible) concern when Little Godzilla was threatened.

And her reaction to “the butt” having an emotional breakdown when Space Godzilla blows up his lab, “He went bazookas!”

On the inconsistencies of dubbing groups, “Miki has a new voice?”

On Japanese to English name translations, “There are a lot of Kens in these movies.”

On Destroyer’s ten foot alien-predator-crab monster form, “Scary scary scary… (*blast of lightning breath*)  WHOAH COOL!” 

On the Super X3, “It looks much cooler than others. (*later*) It actually worked!”  *APPLAUSE!*

On Godzilla Junior, “He’s kinda cute… unlike his father.”

On the giant column almost smashing Miki, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

On Junior’s death, *tiny voice* “I’m sad.”

On Godzilla’s meltdown, “Oh My God…Eeeeeewww!!”

On the “Godzilla March” playing over the credits *Cheers and Dancing*

Her favorite from the Heisei series:

Godzilla Vs. Mothra.

However, she still preferred the original Shobijin Showa film to the Heisei outing of the Cosmos.

Oh yeah, she liked Earl. 
She didn't have a whole lot to say, but obviously enjoyed the whole experience.

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