Thursday, April 9, 2015

Top Ten Unpleasant Surprises of the New Daredevil Series

The new series starts tomorrow.   Freshly leaked information below!

10. For Disney cross brand synergy, Kingpin cuts off Daredevil’s hand and tells him as he dangles off the roof of the  Fisk building "Stick never told you what happened...I   am your father".

9. Foggy SINGS Devo's Greatest Hits.

8. Vincent Donofrio only plays the robotic suit of the Kingpin, his helmet is removed to reveal, Pee Wee Herman.  Banter between Kingpin and Daredevil includes thirteen minutes of
"I know you are but what am I?"

7. The plot is a thinly veiled cover of a fitness plan, the Claire Temple Night Nursersize Workout.

6. A last minute revision to appeal to Middle America changes the location to “Heck’s Kitchen.” 

5. Instrumental score is only in the adds, in show it is performed by Zamfir master of the pan flute, and the slide whistle orchestra.

4. Black costume is only to homage Man without Fear, Schumacher Brand (TM) Costume Nipples follow shortly.

3. All street gang members speak in pig latin.

2. As a tribute to Guardian Devil, Turk and Grotto, played by Jay and Silent Bob, give Daredevil the "Chasing Elektra" speech.

1. Surprise guest villain Bullseye is defeated when Daredevil saves the day by giving him some Twinkies.

See kids, it can always be worse.

Click here fore real show review.


Kim Luer said...

Everything is better with Twinkies!!!

Jeff McGinley said...

Indeed. I just read Anabelle Marvel Team Up 137 (1983) Aunt May gets the power cosmic and become Golden Oldie, who then proceeds to feed Galactus every twinkie on earth before finding a planet sized one in space.

Y'know, it's really hard to make up an exaggeratedly silly comic book idea that's more ridiculous than something they already did.