A Carnivore’s Guide to Cardiology: I got the key to the gates of paradise; but I've got too few legs!

Apologies to the other Jeff.

I’ve put large amount of work and focus into fighting my crappy genetics on the cardiac front these past few years.

It is said…

Oh yeah? By who?

By people who say things.

Shouldn’t you have an actual citation if you base the whole post on a quote?

Go away voice in my head familiar with strong writing conventions, I’m on a roll.

Fine. 

You can barely stay on topic as it is. 

Good luck stringing a theme together without me.

It is said

*barely audible grumbling*

SHUT IT!

It is said…

Better.

It is said that table of heart health is built on four specifically defined legs.

I have a serious concern about that model.

With all of the time it takes to…

Leg 1: Seek out and obtain healthy food, and spend the extra time usually required to prepare it.

Leg 2:  Exercise in an aerobic, heart rate increasing fashion for sixty minutes a day, not to mention warm up and cool down time.

Leg 3: Spend as much quality time with family and loved ones, while also pursuing varied and stimulating hobbies with which to lower my stress levels.

There is absolutely no way in God’s green Earth I will ever have time to:

Leg 4:  Get a good night’s sleep.

Therefore, I shall be using my own model for cardiac wellness.

I call it:

The Tripod of Heart Health,

with a big honkin’ glass of red wine balanced atop it.

That’s it?  An unsupported quote, a bunch of links to previous posts, and a dumb joke?

It’s direct, informative, and completely on point!

Right.

Seriously, did you have ANY complete sentences in that mass shameless self-promotion leading up to a pointless gag?

Don’t you have anything better to do? 

Like…

I don’t know…

Maybe finishing about a hundred pages of Disney trip memories to free up enough time to write something decent instead of scrambling to crank out all these short, lame posts.

*barely audible grumbling*