After
watching all of the original twenty-eight plus Kaiju classics twice in six
months, it wasn’t a huge deal to watch the new one over again to share it with my family only a week after it was the only movie I broke my Deep Space Nine-ing with
Here
are the reactions:
On
the classic 1954 Ifukube score played over the Toho Logo:
“Best
Song Ever!”
On
the blood gushing down into the tunnel”
“Oh…is
that…? Eww.”
On
the differences between the dubbing and the subtitle translation:
“Nice
words down there. You guys aren’t even trying.”
On
the first of many long meetings:
“My
God.”
On
the first Kaiju sighting, after the Prime Minister mocked Our Hero Yaguchi:
Anabelle-
“What is that? It’s not a Godzilla tail.”
Rosa-
*derisive laughter*
Anabelle-
“In yo face, Prime Minister.”
On
the option to capture the monster:
“We
can train it to sit and be friends with us.”
On
the mostly immobile environmental experts:
“Hello
three experts, how about that weather?”
On
the appearance of Phase 2 of Gojira on land, just after saying it couldn’t come
on land.
Rosa-
“Yup.”
Anabelle-
“Oh sweet Jesus.”
Rosa-
“That’s not Godzilla.”
Anabelle-
“What is that thing? Do I have to look at it again? I was not expecting that.”
On
another follow up meeting, with different color jackets:
Anabelle-
“Oh my God, another one.
Look
at me, I put on my fancy meeting clothes.”
Rosa-
“Yeah, that’s ridiculous. What is it? Green for disaster, Blue for regular,
Orange for alert?”
On
the return to watching Phase Two smash through the city:
Rosa-
“Puppet out of control!”
Anabelle-
“That is horrifying.”
*The
creature goes over a skyscraper*
Anabelle-
“Look at me climb this building! I’m King
Kong everybody!”
On
the Prime Minister’s declaration of emergency:
Rosa-
“Everyone go change your shirt.”
On
the command to minimize firepower when attacking Phase Two:
“How? Toro! Toro!”
On
calling one more meeting to make a decision about what to do:
Anabelle-
“Let me put on my thinking shirt.”
Rosa-
“Everyone’s going to be dead by the time they make a choice.”
On
Phase Two’s pre-transformation flop:
“How
majestic. *sings* It’s a pillow, it’s a pet”
On
the transformation to Phase Three almost Godzilla:
Anabelle-
“That’s creepier.”
Rosa-
“That’s Elmo.”
On
pilot radio lingo:
Pilot-
“Attacker One, Copy.”
Anabelle-
“Attacker Two, Paste.”
On
aborting the mission because two people are in the Kaiju attack zone:
“Oh
good Lord! They’re gonna die anyway.”
On
the guy insisting its impossible Godzilla is nuclear powered:
“Is
it?!?!?”
*It
isn’t, and the guy totally flips out.*
“Jazz
Hands!”
On
there being no match for Gojira’s genetics:
“It’s
like The Fifth Element, he’s got
extra genes. Told you.”
On
the Godzilla worshiping chanters:
Rosa:
“Oh God.”
On
various meeting fashions:
“What’s
with the pink towel guy?”
*Our
Hero Yaguchi asked when he changed as he’s starting to smell*
“See,
he needs a new meeting shirt.”
On
the nearly fully transformed Godzilla:
Anabelle-
“Oh my.”
*A
new meeting with a new color shirt.”
Anabelle-
“What do yellow shirts mean?”
Rosa-
“Intermission.”
*Godzilla
is blasted with many explosives*
Anabelle-
“aah. aah. Was that convincing?
Rosa-
“He’s eating all the power, that’s why his hips are so fat.”
Anabelle-
“This can’t work, the movie has a lot left”
Me-
“The rest of the film is a meeting about how to clean up.”
Anabelle-
That would fit this movie.”
On
the reveal of the new breath and other energy weapons:
Anabelle-
“YEAH! Best light show ever!”
Rosa-
“What the hell was that? He has lasers
now.”
*Godzilla
shoots spine beams*
Rosa-
“Oh.”
Anabelle-
“Yes! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
*The
beams hit the government helicopter.*
Anabelle-
“AAAAAAH! There goes the Prime Minister.”
Rosa
– “oops.”
*Our
Hero Yaguchi freaks out.*
Anabelle
– “Well, he’s upset. Here, have a Snickers.”
On
the explanation for the new Prime Minister eating at a time like this being, “He’s
a hard man to read:”
“He’s
a hard man to speak to without killing.”
The
cabinet guy freaks out about going too far:
“A
lot of people in this movie need a Snickers.”
On
the Nuclear bomb option:
Anabelle-
“Wouldn’t that make it worse?”
Rosa-
*knowingly* “Mmmmm-hmmmmmm.”
Anabelle-
“Fools…utter fools.”
On
the evacuation plan of the city:
“Quick!
Everybody get in these slow moving busses to escape!”
On
Crazy Old Goro’s back story about jumping into the ocean:
“And
then he turned into Godzilla.”
On
asking for questions after the explanation that Crazy Old Goro’s giant mandala/
maze/ Spirograph picture could be solved via origami:
“How
did you fold that crane so fast?”
On
the revelation that the Godzilla cells absorb characteristic as it adapts:
“Look
we're part of the cell!
*does
a little dance*
I'm part of the story!”
On
the length of the meetings while the King of Monsters is asleep:
“Mami
is napping with Godzilla.”
On the outcome of Gojira’s rampage being radiation or death:
Rosa-
“So, either way your screwed.”
On
the announcement that the evacuation of Tokyo is complete:
“Oh.
Who cares?”
On
a bazillion drones exploding all over Godzilla:
“Best
fireworks show ever!”
On
Godzilla’s dorsal spines glowing as they pump coagulant into him:
Rosa-
“uh oh.”
*He
breathes on the trucks*
Anabelle-
“Eww.”
On
the second attempt to pump coagulant:
*Checks
time remaining in the movie* “It’s working!!!”
*He
gets up*
Checks
time
“It
did not work…Uh oh.”
On
Godzilla spontaneously freezing:
Anabelle-
“Oh sweet my mercy! *sings* Everything
is awesome…except our country is demolished.”
Rosa-
“Now what?”
Anabelle-
“Dance Party.”
*Miss
Horomi’s expression changes*
Rosa-
“Oh, She’s smiling, while the fire trucks hose down the streets?”
Anabelle-
“Yeah, they have to wash off all the Godzillaness.”
On
Political Party Girl explaining they have to choose to own their
responsibilities:
“Yeah!
Own it! Walk down that aisle! Pose!”
On
the reveal of the creepy hybrid skeletons frozen on the Big G’s tail:
Both-
“WHAT!?!?!?”
Anabelle-
“Next movie.”
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