Thursday, September 14, 2017

Shin Godzilla Through a Kid’s Eyes

After watching all of the original twenty-eight plus Kaiju classics twice in six months, it wasn’t a huge deal to watch the new one over again to share it with my family only a week after it was the only movie I broke my Deep Space Nine-ing with

Here are the reactions:

On the classic 1954 Ifukube score played over the Toho Logo:
“Best Song Ever!”

On the blood gushing down into the tunnel”
“Oh…is that…?  Eww.”

On the differences between the dubbing and the subtitle translation:
“Nice words down there. You guys aren’t even trying.”

On the first of many long meetings:
“My God.”

On the first Kaiju sighting, after the Prime Minister mocked Our Hero Yaguchi:
Anabelle- “What is that? It’s not a Godzilla tail.”
Rosa- *derisive laughter*
Anabelle- “In yo face, Prime Minister.”

On the option to capture the monster:
“We can train it to sit and be friends with us.”

On the mostly immobile environmental experts:
“Hello three experts, how about that weather?”

On the appearance of Phase 2 of Gojira on land, just after saying it couldn’t come on land.
Rosa- “Yup.”
Anabelle- “Oh sweet Jesus.”
Rosa- “That’s not Godzilla.”
Anabelle- “What is that thing? Do I have to look at it again?  I was not expecting that.”

On another follow up meeting, with different color jackets:
Anabelle- “Oh my God, another one.
Look at me, I put on my fancy meeting clothes.”
Rosa- “Yeah, that’s ridiculous. What is it? Green for disaster, Blue for regular, Orange for alert?”

On the return to watching Phase Two smash through the city:
Rosa- “Puppet out of control!”
Anabelle- “That is horrifying.”
*The creature goes over a skyscraper*
Anabelle- “Look at me climb this building!  I’m King Kong everybody!”

On the Prime Minister’s declaration of emergency:
Rosa- “Everyone go change your shirt.”

On the command to minimize firepower when attacking Phase Two:
“How?   Toro! Toro!”

On calling one more meeting to make a decision about what to do:
Anabelle- “Let me put on my thinking shirt.”
Rosa- “Everyone’s going to be dead by the time they make a choice.”

On Phase Two’s pre-transformation flop:
“How majestic.  *sings* It’s a pillow, it’s a pet”

On the transformation to Phase Three almost Godzilla:
Anabelle- “That’s creepier.”
Rosa- “That’s Elmo.”

On pilot radio lingo:
Pilot- “Attacker One, Copy.”
Anabelle- “Attacker Two, Paste.”

On aborting the mission because two people are in the Kaiju attack zone:
“Oh good Lord! They’re gonna die anyway.”

On the guy insisting its impossible Godzilla is nuclear powered:
“Is it?!?!?”
*It isn’t, and the guy totally flips out.*
“Jazz Hands!”

On there being no match for Gojira’s genetics:
“It’s like The Fifth Element, he’s got extra genes. Told you.”

On the Godzilla worshiping chanters:
Rosa: “Oh God.”

On various meeting fashions:
“What’s with the pink towel guy?”
*Our Hero Yaguchi asked when he changed as he’s starting to smell*
“See, he needs a new meeting shirt.”

On the nearly fully transformed Godzilla:
Anabelle- “Oh my.”
*A new meeting with a new color shirt.”
Anabelle- “What do yellow shirts mean?”
Rosa- “Intermission.”
*Godzilla is blasted with many explosives*
Anabelle- “aah. aah.  Was that convincing? 
Rosa- “He’s eating all the power, that’s why his hips are so fat.”
Anabelle- “This can’t work, the movie has a lot left”
Me- “The rest of the film is a meeting about how to clean up.”
Anabelle- That would fit this movie.”

On the reveal of the new breath and other energy weapons:
Anabelle- “YEAH! Best light show ever!”
Rosa- “What the hell was that?  He has lasers now.”
*Godzilla shoots spine beams*
Rosa- “Oh.”
*The beams hit the government helicopter.*
Anabelle- “AAAAAAH!  There goes the Prime Minister.”
Rosa – “oops.”
*Our Hero Yaguchi freaks out.*
Anabelle – “Well, he’s upset. Here, have a Snickers.”

On the explanation for the new Prime Minister eating at a time like this being, “He’s a hard man to read:”
“He’s a hard man to speak to without killing.”

The cabinet guy freaks out about going too far:
“A lot of people in this movie need a Snickers.”

On the Nuclear bomb option:
Anabelle- “Wouldn’t that make it worse?”
Rosa- *knowingly* “Mmmmm-hmmmmmm.”
Anabelle- “Fools…utter fools.”

On the evacuation plan of the city:
“Quick! Everybody get in these slow moving busses to escape!”

On Crazy Old Goro’s back story about jumping into the ocean:
“And then he turned into Godzilla.”

On asking for questions after the explanation that Crazy Old Goro’s giant mandala/ maze/ Spirograph picture could be solved via origami:
“How did you fold that crane so fast?”

On the revelation that the Godzilla cells absorb characteristic as it adapts:
“Look we're part of the cell!
*does a little dance*
 I'm part of the story!”

On the length of the meetings while the King of Monsters is asleep:
“Mami is napping with Godzilla.”

On the outcome of Gojira’s rampage being radiation or death:
Rosa- “So, either way your screwed.”

On the announcement that the evacuation of Tokyo is complete:
“Oh. Who cares?”

On a bazillion drones exploding all over Godzilla:
“Best fireworks show ever!”

On Godzilla’s dorsal spines glowing as they pump coagulant into him:
Rosa- “uh oh.”
*He breathes on the trucks*
Anabelle- “Eww.”

On the second attempt to pump coagulant:
*Checks time remaining in the movie* “It’s working!!!”
*He gets up*
Checks time
“It did not work…Uh oh.”

On Godzilla spontaneously freezing:
Anabelle- “Oh sweet my mercy!  *sings* Everything is awesome…except our country is demolished.”
Rosa- “Now what?”
Anabelle- “Dance Party.”
*Miss Horomi’s expression changes*
Rosa- “Oh, She’s smiling, while the fire trucks hose down the streets?”
Anabelle- “Yeah, they have to wash off all the Godzillaness.”

On Political Party Girl explaining they have to choose to own their responsibilities:
“Yeah! Own it!  Walk down that aisle!  Pose!”

On the reveal of the creepy hybrid skeletons frozen on the Big G’s tail:
Both- “WHAT!?!?!?”
Anabelle- “Next movie.”

Rosa- “Attack of the Army of Godzilla People.”

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