Thursday, May 30, 2024

George Awards 11- The Main Reason Santa is So Jolly is Because He Knows Where All the Bad Girls Live



This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”
This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.
This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.
Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.
End of Warning.
The first Movie related award in these Eleventh George Awards for Profanity in film is wrapped in an apology.

Michael Dougherty, I should have never doubted you.

I foolishly only checked an online script for another fantastic reference to Inaugural George Award winner The Thing's- "You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me," but it took me far too long to get around to watching the movie.

Krampus (2015) is a party of a film. It carries all the flavor, fun and practical effects of Eighties comedy horror movies, my personal favorite genre. 

It is also PG-13. I was unaware of that, being that the equally fun, but more entertainingly gory Trick R Treat was rated R. 

That meant Krampus could only drop a single F Bomb.

While Mr. Dougherty did reference The Thing once more, he did it in a sanitized version.

Adam Scott is a fine actor and he handles the role of husband and Dad, Tom, trying to deal with the annoying family visit for Christmas and demonic holiday spirit very well. However, writer/ director Dougherty knew not to waste his only shot on the man's reaction to the goofy yet terrifying killer presents. When a killer toy robot jumps on his back all he
 says is , 
"Gotta be kidding me."

The reason for this conservation of fuckery is knowing he had the late great Cochatta Farrel at his disposal as the rude, angry, near alcoholic and always hilarious Aunt Dorothy. She did a fantastic job as always, in this case showing there was a heart under her abrasive exterior...somewhere... probably.

It was a perfect tension breaker for Omi's horrific concern about what awaited them all.

Max- "Are we going to be OK?"
Omi- *ominous German*
Max- "What?"
Aunt Dorothy- "She says we're fucked."
Someone- "How did you..."
Aunt Dorothy- "Because I'm old enough to know 
when life is coming at you with its pants down."

She also went out really well, right before being yanked out the window by the scary elves' chains with a brandy soaked-

"I'll see you in Hell!"

Therefore to Ms. Farrel-
and with a huge apology to Mr. Dougherty-
here is your delayed George Award.

Also, don't worry, the writer / director confirmed the ending isn't the family in some weird hellish prison, just that they, and many others, are being watched...
Just like you!
Merry Christmas!

Come back next week for the Gordon/ Paoli/ Yuzna/ Combs/ Crampton effort that makes you look at Re-Animator movies and think, "Awww, that's nice."

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