Transformers Rewatch Beast Wars Season 3B

Changing of the Guard

The Ark has limited defenses. (I am shocked. Shocked I say.) Therefore the Maximals want to get Sentinel from the sunken Axalon.Wait, Cybertronian technology was unchanged for nine million years- And now only three hundred years later it’s incompatible? That is a design flaw.
Blackarachnia made a stealth submarine. Spiders are always builders, I guess. Did she just make it for fun? Did they cut the scene where Optimus asks her to make one? I have questions.
Cheetor has a goofy thought bubble complete with silly music. The tone shifts of this series are insane.

Oh good, more underwater scenes. They have not learned.
There’s a robot rat driving a hand pedaled submarine to a jaunty tune. Say what you want about this show, it’s original.
A non-descript bug drone. Whose is it this time? Oh, Rampage. Bye bye Rattrap. 

Fish Batman to the rescue for an underwater rival battle! Sell them new toys!

The Predacon soldiers are playing cards, and again, I have questions.
To investigate, Megatron -still not being a moron- sends The Loon.
Rattrap found Sentinel, and it had a central location, plus it seemed sentient. Was it? Did it have a Spark? Will we ever learn? (Spoilers- No.)
So much for the new toys. Half of the Axalon just fell on them. Ouch.

Oh. Megatron sent Waspinator too. For comic effect no doubt. Speaking of which, during the dangerous battle, Rattrap bounces around in his glass ball with appropriate pinball noises. Pick a tone, gang.
Oh, the new toys are fine. I guess if a nuke didn’t stop Rampage a broken ship falling on him won’t either. Anyway- UNDERWATER ROBOT FIGHT!!!

Now the Predacons have Sentinel. Great job there, guys. Morons.
Aaaand, there goes the tone again as Rampage is launched out of the water and splats on Quickstrike.
Wait, everyone EXCEPT the one Megatron ordered to go is there. What happened?
It’s time for the Silverbolt / Depthcharge- Wolf Boy Superman/ Fish Batman morality clash. Who didn’t see that coming?

Waspinator got blown away again. Poor little doofus. Meanwhile, The Loon didn’t even show up. Oh wait, there he is. Megatron must have planned him for the final grab… which happens because Silverbolt and Depthcharge SLAM into each other in mid-air for no reason at all. Morons.
Inferno, paying attention, grabs Sentinel. DO NOT mess with The Loon.
Oh good, they calmed down Optimal Optimus’s shoulder things.
On the less “oh good” side, Sentinel has now been installed in the Darksyde. I guess it was non-sentient. Or we’ve just had another unpleasant lesson about Cybertronian free will.
 
 

Cutting Edge

AAAAH! The prehistoric people are back. They really look bad. The Dad still has the rock and stick hammer. Dinobot would be so proud. *sniff* And now there are two kids.
Huh, a Cyborg Raptor… that’s new. Oh, excuse me a Shiny Cyborg Raptor.
Optimus’s giant plane with fists form can move the hands so they point and stuff. He looks half transformed. 

Oooh, squish with a big rock. So much for the Shiny Cyborg Raptor.
The kids will live in the Ark now. Are they trying to replace Spike and Carly? Maybe wait till they develop a language?

Oh crap. Cheetor is crushing on Blackarachnia. There can be no good side of this. Optimal Optimus (can I please stop calling him that?) is sending her to bring the kids home because she knows Predacons. Don’t you all know them as well after fighting them for two years?
Silverbolt volunteers to go with her, but Optimus shoots him down, feeling he wouldn’t focus on the mission. Smart move. But then Cheetor asks to go, and Optimus says, “Sure.” Moron.
Rattrap still doesn’t trust her. Because he’s been watching the show, I guess.
Susan Blu is Una! (the girl prehistoric kid) I guess she threw herself in for the fun ones. Well deserved.
Una loves and wants to be Blackarachnia. This will be fine.
Cheetor is flying around, straight up endangering the prehistoric boy on his back. Yeah, sending the young Maximal who wants to impress the bad girl robot was a great idea, Optimus. Moron.
Blackarachnia is teaching Una- “Guys. Oh they’re only young once but they can act juvenile forever.” Preach, sister!
Dang, she shut Cheetor’s flirting down cold with a, “Don’t. Even. Start.” She’s growing on me.
AAH! More Shiny Cyborg Raptors!! And they have laser eyes!! Cheetor is down… and damaged. And, (need it be said?) a moron.
Blackarachnia says she’s thinking like a “pathetic warm blood.” Spider Lady, you are all robots, stop this weird biological class racism that keeps happening.

There’s no backup, because of all those Predacon jamming stations. Say it with me- Megatron, not a moron.
Oh, Tarantulas is in the Pred base? So… no penalty for being an undercover agent all this time. I guess with the limited troops, better to keep an eye on him. Megatron’s "not a moron"ness continues.
“Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!” Yes, Megatron, that was awesome, but those are Shiny Cyborg Raptors… not dogs.
And now Optimus’s GIANT shoulder things are back. What? Oh good, and he brought Silverbolt. Moron.
Megatron, further continuing to not be a moron, is using this rescue distraction to attack the Ark.
Wow, who'd have thought? Shiny Cyborg Raptors, Waspinator and the Spider-Cycle are one effective combined arms group!
Cheetor and Waspinator (poor little doofus) are first ones down. What. A. Shock.
Optimus has lost the shoulder things again. OOF! And got shot in the butt with Tarantulas’s Shiny Venom.
Over at the base attack, there go the few defensive guns the Ark had. No wonder they didn’t protect the Autobots.
Megatron- *Sends Quickstrike first* “When expecting booby traps, always send the boob in first.” Because he values The Loon.
Blackarachnia leaps and takes the hit for the kids. I was not expecting that. Silverbolt whines some more. I was expecting that. Shut up, Wolf Boy. Did you forget about Predacon resilience again. Moron. Sigh. Now he’s singing.
Woo Hoo! Prehistoric Daddy took out a Shiny Cyborg Raptor with Dinobot’s hammer. He’d be so proud. *sniff*

Ah, so taking out the controller sends the Shiny Cyborg Raptors into an uncontrolled fit (usually onto a Predacon) before shutting down. The design flaws continue.
Fish Batman kicking butt for the save!!!  Wooooo! Yeah, I’m still invested.
Shut up Cheetor. She will eat you up. Literally.
Uh oh. Megatron is fooling with Rampage's half Spark again. This can’t be good.
 
 

Feral Scream- Part 1

ANOTHER Frankenstein opening. The Transformers Franchise is much more horror based than I remembered.
And another stasis pod. Well, there were hundreds. I wonder how many others had creepy reasons like Protoform X.
Big “pew pew” fight to kick this one off. That’s a rarity on this show.
Man, Optimal Optimus’s enormous shoulder extensions come and go with no rhyme or reason. I will be ignoring them (as best as possible) from now on.
Cheetor shoots… directly at Optimus, who stands there. Morons as far as the eye can see.
Damn, Megatron is going full on mad scientist monologue. And Waspinator has fully embraced his Igorness. It is a good fit.

Fish Batman to the rescue!!!! (About an hour late. At least he tried.)
Oh, he traces Rampage’s Spark… which is split in half. That’s gonna be an issue.
“The Protoform was a blank innocent.” I thought this was like a travel stasis thing. So, are these babies? Why were they on a ship???? Are we sure the Maximals are the good guys? I have so many questions.
Usually, the young characters are given the largest growth arc, but I feel Cheetor’s level of moron has been increasing exponentially.
Megatron is using the Protoform to make a new clone Dinobot. So… he killed that Maximal then. Having a good afternoon, Nineties kids?
Megatron is making a Transmetal 2? A what now? Does that mean it will be Super Shiny? Apparently so, we got us a full metal New Super Shiny Dinobot. Wait. How is it a metal clone if the first Dinobot clone was fully organic? Y’know what? Forget it.

Dang, he knows how to use those Super Shiny Toe Claws though.
Cheetor came to help. I’m sure it will be fine... And he’s down.
Man, Terminator looking New Super Shiny Dinobot in Robot Mode is also hard core.

Oop. Plier Gun for the win. Cheetor is down again and fell into the zappy thing. Ew. He blew up. There are little Cheetor bits around.
Fish Batman throws the Super Shiny Making Ball (which I’m still not sure where Megatron got it) off a cliff but Blackarachnia dove after it. I’m sure it will be fine.

Cheetor lives! And is screaming like a nut while his knee glows green. I’m sure he’s fine.
Maybe don’t tell Rampage half his Spark is in your unholy creation, Megatron? Oh, you can still torture him, I guess that is fine too. Megatron’s in his hot tub again. That does make him seem less fierce. 

(He also has a rubber duck that shows up from time to time. I feel that should get a call out somewhere.)
The Super Shiny Making Ball is apparently from the Aliens. That is one of many things not totally clear.
They dragged the healing chamber into the Ark too. So… Why the hell didn’t they grab Sentinel when they hauled all this other crap in here? Morons.
New Super Shiny Dinobot is bigger than Fish Batman. Wow. His reaction- “Ain’t that a kick in the lug nuts?”
Huh, a new Super Shiny, Feral, Big Cat of some kind just took out the Preds. Who could it be? I am stumped. Stumped I say!

Oh what a shock, Quickstrike is in bits again. Jerk.
This story has transmogrified into quite a different type of horror flick than it started as. We are now in a Robotic Slasher Film.
Oopsie, Megatron wasted Waspinator. Poor little doofus, even he doesn’t deserve this all the time.
Optimus has gone back to his shiny blue monkey face. What? Why does he keep having these changes that no one notices. Is he all right?
Cheetor is back. Gasp! (Was that convincing?)

Click to Continue to part two

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