Well, this is certainly appropriate if somewhat horrifying. Here we are, one post shy of Thursday's FIFTEENTH ANNIVERSARY post for the start of this blog, and it is also one day shy of the one year anniversary of this insane drive down Transformers Lane. Here's to the future!!!
Mercenary Pursuits
While motorcycle Vehicon general Thrust is pink and yellow, how did I miss
that?
Great idea Megatron, whatever you told them has the three Vehicon generals fighting each other instead of chasing Maximals. That will be helpful. Whatever happened on his trip back to Cybertron may have slid him out of the "not a moron" classification.
Meanwhile, “our heroes” are on a Spark
hunt, because Zen Optimus can now smell them… or something. (Given they are partially made of meat, he probably can smell "our heroes" as well.)
Great idea Megatron, whatever you told them has the three Vehicon generals fighting each other instead of chasing Maximals. That will be helpful. Whatever happened on his trip back to Cybertron may have slid him out of the "not a moron" classification.
Rattrap is moaning
and complaining because, for reasons unstated, he’s gone back to his selfish
personality that disappeared after the first couple of Beast Wars episodes.
Neat! Another Tron reference- because that is a big door.
Neat! Another Tron reference- because that is a big door.
Cheetor and Rattrap found the “can’t transform” virus lab,
along with the “counter virus.” Again, I'm pretty sure that is not how viruses work. Not to
mention it looks exactly like the fluid from Re-Animator. Maybe don’t
touch that.
Huh, Techno-Organic Blackarachnia only has six eyes in spider mode too. Have these people ever seen a spider?
The Re-Animator goo lets Rattrap finally transform into "robot" mode. He still has a mousey looking face and a tail, plus wheels instead of feet. Who designed these? He is also now easily detected by the Vehicons. Moron.
Rattrap glows red for his animeish,
morphy transformation. The rest have other colors.
Wow, Jetstorm and Thrust have been fighting this whole episode. Great use of time there, generals.
More anime (or maybe Matrix) influence on the fighting styles. It gives me a headache.
Vehicon general Tankor, meanwhile, indicates his low intelligence via Hulk speak. While these three are clearly morons, they still captured the Maximals… saying a great deal about the good guys.
Cable hanging Megatron is wearing a dress. The Loon (RIP my insane friend) would have loved this look. “Yes, my queen.”
So Megatron’s anti-virus - that was really a trap - caused Rattrap’s body parts to randomly transform, freeing him from Megatron’s bindings. Yes, I fear the Predacon leader is sauntering into moron territory.
Oh, “I am transformed” again. That gets old really fast.
They broke the cables Megatron hangs from that connect him to everything he controls. I feel that should have had more of an effect.
Zen Optimus reaches out to Tankor for “spark to spark contact.” Say what now? Dang, Tankor is huge.
And Megatron got cranky and turned into a dragon again. Lycanthropy. Well, the "lycan" part means wolf, and the "anthropos" means "human being." So it's really "Dracorobopy." (Cause the end of real Latin predates "robots.") However, even for me, that sounds stupid.
So Tankor is a Maximal now, nice. Oh,
wait. Megatron can reach into his mind and delete all his memories, sending him
back to his previous Vehicon alliance. That is messed up, that is.
Zen monkey time again to try to figure it out, without success. What a surprise.
They escape due to Blackarachnia’s green web, which looks like she pooped out a vine. Ew.
There is a scary looking thing hiding in
the rafters watching the spider/ cheetah training fight.
Prime is teaching them not to give in to emotion. Didn’t Tigatron teach you the complete opposite of that on the last show? Moron.
Rattrap still can’t transform, meaning the rest of the gang make fun of him. Great message. You poor Nineties’ Kids.
How about that, a giant bat. Is that the vampire headmaster? No, just a Man-bat hanging around Cybertron, as they do.
There are many chases in this show.
Man-Bat says, “Get your stinking paws off me,” to Optimus. Nice reference.
Jetstorm is fabulous. That is all.
Oh good. Man-bat screams, that won’t get annoying immediately. Also, he is a kid. Teen-Bat! Cheetor can pass along some of that moron-ness he grew out of.
“The Matrix gave you cyborg bodies.” No, that was the Oracle, don't you watch your own show?.
Teen-Bat flashback time. Everyone looks more like Autobots than Maximals. Were the Beast Mode gang a splinter group, or did they get THAT reformatted to have Beast Modes on ancient Earth? Am I thinking about this too much again?
So that’s what happened. A robot fell in a big hole and came out a fully organic Teen-Bat. As often occurs.
Huh, Techno-Organic Blackarachnia only has six eyes in spider mode too. Have these people ever seen a spider?
The Re-Animator goo lets Rattrap finally transform into "robot" mode. He still has a mousey looking face and a tail, plus wheels instead of feet. Who designed these? He is also now easily detected by the Vehicons. Moron.
Wow, Jetstorm and Thrust have been fighting this whole episode. Great use of time there, generals.
More anime (or maybe Matrix) influence on the fighting styles. It gives me a headache.
Vehicon general Tankor, meanwhile, indicates his low intelligence via Hulk speak. While these three are clearly morons, they still captured the Maximals… saying a great deal about the good guys.
Cable hanging Megatron is wearing a dress. The Loon (RIP my insane friend) would have loved this look. “Yes, my queen.”
So Megatron’s anti-virus - that was really a trap - caused Rattrap’s body parts to randomly transform, freeing him from Megatron’s bindings. Yes, I fear the Predacon leader is sauntering into moron territory.
Oh, “I am transformed” again. That gets old really fast.
They broke the cables Megatron hangs from that connect him to everything he controls. I feel that should have had more of an effect.
Zen Optimus reaches out to Tankor for “spark to spark contact.” Say what now? Dang, Tankor is huge.
And Megatron got cranky and turned into a dragon again. Lycanthropy. Well, the "lycan" part means wolf, and the "anthropos" means "human being." So it's really "Dracorobopy." (Cause the end of real Latin predates "robots.") However, even for me, that sounds stupid.
Zen monkey time again to try to figure it out, without success. What a surprise.
They escape due to Blackarachnia’s green web, which looks like she pooped out a vine. Ew.
Forbidden Fruit
Prime is teaching them not to give in to emotion. Didn’t Tigatron teach you the complete opposite of that on the last show? Moron.
Rattrap still can’t transform, meaning the rest of the gang make fun of him. Great message. You poor Nineties’ Kids.
How about that, a giant bat. Is that the vampire headmaster? No, just a Man-bat hanging around Cybertron, as they do.
There are many chases in this show.
Man-Bat says, “Get your stinking paws off me,” to Optimus. Nice reference.
Jetstorm is fabulous. That is all.
Oh good. Man-bat screams, that won’t get annoying immediately. Also, he is a kid. Teen-Bat! Cheetor can pass along some of that moron-ness he grew out of.
“The Matrix gave you cyborg bodies.” No, that was the Oracle, don't you watch your own show?.
Teen-Bat flashback time. Everyone looks more like Autobots than Maximals. Were the Beast Mode gang a splinter group, or did they get THAT reformatted to have Beast Modes on ancient Earth? Am I thinking about this too much again?
So that’s what happened. A robot fell in a big hole and came out a fully organic Teen-Bat. As often occurs.
A tree! On Cybertron! Gasp!
The tree has healing fruit? I’m sure it will be fine.
The tree has healing fruit? I’m sure it will be fine.
Cheetor – “We don’t eat
food, we use Energon.” Were you not paying attention to the last show you were
in? (Well, we know the writers weren't.)
The fruit heals but also makes them
completely animalistic. Well done, gang.
Cheetor is fed up with everyone. Me
too, cat. You know when Cheetor is the mature voice of reason things have taken
a turn.
Oh… Cheetor killed the only tree on Cybertron. Yes, he freed his friends but that still seems like a bad idea as it is the only food source for Teen-Bat.
Optimus can reformat a fully organic creature into a techno-organic Transformer… Perhaps “convert” is a better word for the ape that appears to be more and more of a cult leader as time passes.
Oh… Cheetor killed the only tree on Cybertron. Yes, he freed his friends but that still seems like a bad idea as it is the only food source for Teen-Bat.
Optimus can reformat a fully organic creature into a techno-organic Transformer… Perhaps “convert” is a better word for the ape that appears to be more and more of a cult leader as time passes.
Great, now we
have a cyborg bat.
Spider Lady still a ninja, at least some things don’t change.
Cheetor in robot mode always uses his swords as shields… for about an hour at a time.
Teen-Bat transformed has little feet wings, or rather, GIANT feet wings, in case the designs on this series weren’t dumb enough.
Oh, good he still screams. Fantastic.
Converting drains Optimus, so now Cheetor is in charge. Our little moron is all growed up.
Teen-Bat’s name is Nightscream. It suits him, but I’ve already started calling him Teen-Bat.
Gasp! There is a fruit left! With digital roots! Double Gasp! (Did that convince anyone?)
I feel like this show would impress me more if I never saw Beast Wars, as the character personality changes and art shifts are extremely jarring.
There is lots of flash to this show.
Maybe it will be better on painkillers.
Optimus is better, that was quick. Oh, it’s a nightmare. Are we back to those?
Teen-Bat is more distorted looking than others, which is considerable.
And, Cheetor is being a jerk, again.
Megatron is still trying to remove his Beast Mode. Being that those were only created when they landed on Earth, I feel that should be easier for him to do.
Ooh the Vehicons are all connected to their generals, like Norman on “I Mudd.”
Cheetor has super speed now. Why not?
Rattrap transformed! And his chest muscles are on the outside. Well, it’s better than having his dead rat body hanging off of him I guess.
And he screwed up the trap for the Vehicons and drew in more of them. Moron.
Rattrap has figured out that he could only transform to help others, proving he is not as selfish as he seems. That’s something. Meanwhile, the rest of the Maximals are such jerks that Rattrap leaves. Good for him.
Whoah, feedback into Megatron wiped out his whole army. Three shows in and the design flaws keep on coming.
Rattrap is making a deal with MEGATRON! Are they all jerks now? Did NO ONE working on
this watch Beast Wars? (Oh right. No, they didn’t.)
Megatron wants Rattrap to, “See things from my side.” Megatron is still quite the propaganda machine, but Rattrap lived the whole previous series and five episodes of this one. He should be more immune to those lies, no?
Oh, Megatron didn’t fix Rattrap, he just built him a Tankor size exo-suit… Which I’m quite certain Rattrap could have built on his own.
Rattrap is now fighting the Maximals,
defending Megatron while he repairs himself. How does this get fixed?
Teen-Bat can spit his teeth out on a string. That is SO gross.
Optimus limps in for a pep talk! Which can be summarized as “Rattrap betrayed all of us ‘for... reasons,’ please forget about it.”
Megatron keeps his word? What?
Spider Lady still a ninja, at least some things don’t change.
Cheetor in robot mode always uses his swords as shields… for about an hour at a time.
Teen-Bat transformed has little feet wings, or rather, GIANT feet wings, in case the designs on this series weren’t dumb enough.
Converting drains Optimus, so now Cheetor is in charge. Our little moron is all growed up.
Teen-Bat’s name is Nightscream. It suits him, but I’ve already started calling him Teen-Bat.
Gasp! There is a fruit left! With digital roots! Double Gasp! (Did that convince anyone?)
I feel like this show would impress me more if I never saw Beast Wars, as the character personality changes and art shifts are extremely jarring.
The Weak Component
Optimus is better, that was quick. Oh, it’s a nightmare. Are we back to those?
Teen-Bat is more distorted looking than others, which is considerable.
And, Cheetor is being a jerk, again.
Megatron is still trying to remove his Beast Mode. Being that those were only created when they landed on Earth, I feel that should be easier for him to do.
Ooh the Vehicons are all connected to their generals, like Norman on “I Mudd.”
Cheetor has super speed now. Why not?
Rattrap transformed! And his chest muscles are on the outside. Well, it’s better than having his dead rat body hanging off of him I guess.
And he screwed up the trap for the Vehicons and drew in more of them. Moron.
Rattrap has figured out that he could only transform to help others, proving he is not as selfish as he seems. That’s something. Meanwhile, the rest of the Maximals are such jerks that Rattrap leaves. Good for him.
Whoah, feedback into Megatron wiped out his whole army. Three shows in and the design flaws keep on coming.
Megatron wants Rattrap to, “See things from my side.” Megatron is still quite the propaganda machine, but Rattrap lived the whole previous series and five episodes of this one. He should be more immune to those lies, no?
Oh, Megatron didn’t fix Rattrap, he just built him a Tankor size exo-suit… Which I’m quite certain Rattrap could have built on his own.
Teen-Bat can spit his teeth out on a string. That is SO gross.
Optimus limps in for a pep talk! Which can be summarized as “Rattrap betrayed all of us ‘for... reasons,’ please forget about it.”
Megatron keeps his word? What?
This was
an idea in search of a script, and it barely found one.
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