Transformers Rewatch Beast Machines Season 1A

BEAST MACHINES Introduction.

The same year that Beast Wars ended, Beast Machines picked up the story (sort of) in the fall. In a way I’m not sure of, but completely believe, the character continuity issues this show was plagued with leading to many fan complaints are the fault of the architect of DC’s Nu52. The writing team was not allowed to watch Beast Wars, with the idea being that restriction would prevent this show from becoming overly continuity heavy. (With a well regarded show that just ended, may I add?) They were only given “the essentials.” However, they did watch the Generation One Transformers cartoon, making this show HUGELY continuity heavy with a series that ended over a decade before. However, it featured the same characters as Beast Wars, yet often acting contrary to what had been seen in the series that had recently completed and most of its viewers had been watching. Also, this series upped the darkness element well above and beyond the character offing levels its predecessor already was at, without tempering it as much with goofy moments. On the other hand, given that the head writer was Marv (Crisis on Infinite Earths, New Teen Titans, etc.) Wolfman, it still had potential. The story opened with only Rattrap, Cheetor, Blackarachnia, and Optimus Primal back on Cybertron. All of them were their original, non-shiny, Beast Mode animal forms… which is weird because those weren’t supposed to be their original Cybertronian forms. They’re all losing, or have lost, their memories. Also, all of the other Cybertronians are gone. Those four are pursued by mindless Transformer drones. They will eventually be called Vehicons but aren't initially. (Told you we’d get to them eventually) There are (very shortly) three types of them. Tanks, Motorcycles and Planes.
 

Season 1

Wow, the Disk menu with dialogue of “Cable Hanging Megatron” has a huge spoiler for Episode 2. The credits have spoilers too but are honestly so confusing I don’t think it matters.
 
 

The Reformatting

Primal is back to his non oversized and non Shiny Gorilla mode but can’t transform. This is an issue as he’s being chased by tanks… oh sorry, chased by mindless tank-bot Transformers.
In the midst of the firefight, Optimus is having weird visions. Yeah, that’ll bring the kids in.
Oh, Rattrap reverted to his original Beast Mode too, losing only one level of Shiny.
Cybertron isn’t gold anymore. Did we sit through the entire end of Generation One for nothing?
Hey, Cheetor may have lost two levels of Shiny, but he is being actually useful. The cat has grown up a tad.
Those tank-bots dwarf the Maximals. Are they Decepticons?
The animation for this show is somehow both better and worse than Beast Wars. 
They’re all stuck in Beast Mode, and if they can’t transform, they will shut down. That seems like a design flaw.
AAAH! They fell in a giant web underground, I’m sure they will be fine.
Oh, they are, because it’s a reverted Blackarachnia, the third character who has lost two levels of Shiny. (That was a fast re-assembly of the team.) Her spider mode still has nine eyes.
Optimus is a mystic now? With glowing eyes. “For... reasons.”
There’s an earlier Cybertronian civilization underground? Like earlier than these bozos’ three hundred years? Or older than the eleven million year old one we learned about in  The Five Faces of Darkness? That’s kind of an important distinction.
A giant fire blocks their way!!!! Oh, wait. The Cybertronians were fooled by a hologram… again.
They found the Oracle computer which foretold the coming of first Transformers to Cybertron. Excuse me, what now?
Optimus’s personality change is going in a combination of two ways here: a Hitchhiker’s “getting needlessly messianic,” and Jake Blues “Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ! Do you see the light!?!?”
Ah the All-spark, which is… a whole lotta sparks. Wasn’t that the Autobot Matrix of Leadership? It’s like they don’t care. 

Wait, is this where the All Spark got introduced? How about that! Pretty important LORE for this goofy show.
Primal has been reformatted… again. His Acid trip tuned him into a cyborg gorilla… an ugly cyborg gorilla.

More robots are chasing them. These are motorcycles, which transform into Unicycle Robots that are only about Rattrap’s size. These are a bit less intimidating than the tanks.
Now these four remaining Maximals have been reformatted and are all oddly colored cyborgs, (and ugly) but still stuck in Beast Mode.

Wait, Blackarachnia is a Maximal again? So much for her entire arc in the last show.
Optimus Primal is telling them the first robots had to learn to transform. He is getting way too Zen. Those Nineties’ kids went through the ringer.
Ah, plummeting and the weird voice in his head have let Optimus transform… as it usually does.
He can still fly, and still looks very monkeyish. Man, that transformation is a total light flash and morph. We've dumped even pretending to try and make it look mechanical. Sad really.
I feel like I need to ask. Why is Rattrap green?
And there’s Megatron, with his anti-organic rhetoric hanging by a bunch of cables from the ceiling. Maybe that is not the true seat of power he thinks it is.
 
 

Master of the House

Optimus is meditating with his legs crossed. He needs Rhinox to show him how to look cool doing that. Hey wait. Where is Rhinox?
They’re a techno-organic mix? Isn’t that what they were with their Beast Modes? Until they got all Shiny, anyway.
Everyone is very elongated in both forms. It is kinda creepy looking.
AAAH! That is way too many eyes on your human, (pinkish purple) face Blackarachnia.

The Cleaners!!! (Labyrinth  reference) Well, they got rid of that quick.
Oh, they are being chased by drones. Which means??? Oh, no answer there either.
They want to go to Cybertropolis? Guess they didn’t watch too many of the old shows as that name didn’t come up anywhere.
Flying Drones now! We’ve seen all three types. Wait. What the heck was The Cleaner?

Yes, the explosions look just as much like cheese puffs as I remembered.

The show has a lot of action but is very dark. (Both in lighting and content.)
Saying “I am transformed!” Is FAR more annoying than “Maximize” was.
Beast Mode is connected to their emotions. That’s new. Why are they still very animal faced when in robot mode, when they already established the Beast Modes were nothing like their original forms? It’s like they don’t care.
Preventing transformation? I still don’t think viruses do this.
They’re going to the Council Citadel!  At least we’ve heard of the Council.
That is SO many tanks. I’m getting a very strong Tron vibe.
Why are only the Cycle drones inside? It is large enough to fit the big ones. Perhaps they are still morons?

The leader meeting. Basically it’s “Somehow…Megatron retuned.” But now he’s blue.
And we have finally name dropped the drones as “Vehicons.” They are Transformers without Sparks that somehow Megatron controls. My guess is the giant collection of cables he’s hanging from. (I will stop calling them drones now because that will get MORE confusing later.)
I am aware Megatron is not a moron, but how in heck did he do all of this? I mean. He can’t stop four Maximals or control his own emotions.
He feels they have been “contaminated” with Beast Modes? I have questions. This level of xenophobia wasn’t visible during his time on earth.

Yet he still has dragon mode, which is now shinier, and possibly bigger.
The transformations are now completely controlled by emotional state. IT IS LYCANTHROPY!
 
 

Fires of the Past

This whole series is one continuous bleak story. You poor Nineties’ kids.
They keep back up files for every Transformer. (A word they use a lot more in the later shows.) I guess all those other characters didn’t have to die after all. Never mind, the records have all been wiped. That’s harsh. As the Nineties’ kids reached their teens, it just got worse.
Megatron wants to remove all the organic elements. Didn’t that already happen with the Shiny upgrades? Also, wasn’t adding organic elements the only thing that kept everyone alive at the start of the Beast Wars? I have questions.
Blackarachnia drug trip time with a shadowy Silverbolt. Oh yeah, he's missing too. Their memory losses are a bit on the vague side.
Meanwhile more weird discussions about organic versus mechanical, and Megatron learns free will is important… which is odd considering how easy it is to wipe out in this franchise. Speaking of which, Megatron has a large safety deposit box collection of Sparks.
While Blackarachnia has more drug trips, Optimus Primal reveals he is a huge jerk now. That’s just great. I’m so sorry Nineties’ kids.
Megatron has chosen one Spark to be used by the leader of each of the Vehicon groups, which they wear outside their bodies. That seems unsafe.
Now we have Jetstorm (plane) Thrust (motorcycle) and Tankor (duh) each with their own dumb transformation command words. (“Afterburn” “Overdrive” and “Pulverize” respectively)

Wait, it’s still too many eyes Blackarachnia but you only have six as a robot and nine as a spider, where are you keeping the other three?
Blackarachnia has found the Escape Pod they flew here in, yet cannot remember the friends who aren’t here. This is quite a virus.
I do have to admit, Tankor’s pizza cutter hands are much more threatening than Tarantulas’s were.
The stylization continues as Blackarachnia shoots out a web like energy attack that looks straight out of Street Fighter.
Beast Mode hides them from any scan on Cybertron… the mode that the “virus” has locked them into. Why Megatron - you’ve moroned quite a bit since last we met, haven’t you?

The escape pod has back up files too. (Meaning Dinobot DIDN’T have to die. *sniff*)
Megatron can access them however, and used the feedback into the Spider’s head to find their base. So, he is still not a moron.
Optimus and Rattrap with the Batman through the skylight rescue! Nice! However, they also blew up the ship. Morons.
If anyone cares, Optimus is still a big jerk.

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