A Real American Final Frontier
Knowing Anything that Pleases You Can be Made to Happen is Half the Battle
This year was a major creative issue.
Last year’s celebration of the return of Star Wars to the big screen was amazingly simple in concept, supply and execution.
The idea of celebrating the 50th Anniversary of another favorite “Star” series didn’t require much thought.
The problem arose due to differences in tones of the two franchises.
Star Trek leads the way in social relevance, character personalities and interactions; and grand and majestic large scale visuals.
Star Wars, on the other hand, corners the market on crazy awesomeness and wicked cool merchandise.
I had no idea how to show the few proper scale Trek toys I have interacting with the village in a way that they could believably drive away the mass of figures and vehicles I piled on last time.
Fortunately, my wife served as my muse, by insisting I put away a newly acquired fantasy and mythological toy collection when the Christmas decorations came out…
Which in all honestly I have no idea where the permanent home for it will be.
This spurred me to remember that the crew returned to the “Shore Leave” planet during the animated series, and encountered one of the creatures in my new collection.
Therefore I decided that the Starship Enterprise went back to the Omicron Delta system before coming to Earth to celebrate their Golden Anniversary by chasing the Imperial Forces away.
We join the battle now that all the Sith led troops have fled, and the mopping up is underway:
General Hawk talks with Fleet Captain Pike on the command cab about the final aspects of the missions. Flint and Lady Jaye take a breather down below after debriefing Hawk and supplying Clutch with some supplies that he can cycle over to units that need him.
That is if he can find any space to drive. I may have to curtail my zeal to get as much action as possible in to this thing.
The heavy weapons team wasn’t needed thanks to the Omicron Delta robots, leaving Heavy Duty and Rock N Roll to take a load off and fool around taking pot shots at the dining room table, based on their aiming angle.
Scotty is adding some special improvements to the “High-Speed Extra-dimensional Search Ship” to make repelling invaders an easier task. He’s working some of Sergeant Flash’s lasers in as armaments while Grunt increases his engineering knowledge by observing the master at work.
Man, my delusional play fantasies even include engineering now. I need a break.
No slouch in the technical department himself, Ensign Chekov helps out Ace to soup up the F-22 “Hiss Elimination Sky Striker.” Their loyalty and patriotism ranking well above their intelligence, Bazooka and Gung Ho hang out nearby to keep an eye on the “Russkie.” Roadblock has given up trying to convince them to not be idiots, and his heading off to store his .50 Caliber and do some cooking.
Wow, that’s a heck of an interpretation to explain, “I stood three heavy weapons guys near each other with no clear purpose, then bumped one when I had to move the truck.”
I’m not sure how that works, or why the mule is here. You’ll have to ask my daughter.
Being as unneeded as the rest of the long range weapons, Cover Girl has shut down the Wolverine Missile tank, allowing Shipwreck to perform the “We Beat the Empire” disco pistol dance on the back.
Snow Job (Yes…Snow Job) accompanies the White Dragon on the quest to recapture the Combat Snow Plow.
Yes, Anabelle, I know he’s blue. But in Dungeons and Dragons, White Dragons were the ones associated with cold and ice, the all-white glow it the dark one had a crappy paint job, and it let me buy the cool blue one over on the Helicopter Extraction Shipping Service truck.
Any-hoo. The White Dragon has taken out the BATTS, and started to throw the Snow Serpent and Scrap Iron into a state of panic that they’re being used as fodder to protect the last Cobra escape route from the plateau. Two Viper Troopers given the double front fantastical assault they're facing are already thrown into that state and are about to take their chances with a big leap.
Spoiler: They survive. At least they have every time I sit on the couch too hard and the vibrations send them plummeting.
The other prong scaring the vipers is none other than a Chimera, lead into action by Jinx. She’s using all her Arashikage training to keep the overly violent goat head focused on the task at hand.
That is one ferociously angry looking goat, isn’t it?
Nunchuck, (or Quick Kick, or Billy from Predator) the martial arts trainer for the Joes, is getting some combat tips from Lieutenant Sulu. Hikaru is busy, meanwhile, reliving (or foreshadowing, time travel is confusing) his Huey flying adventure with Wild Bill.
Bombstrike fell over again, dang it…
I mean, Bombstrike is using her spotting scope to relay information about the skirmishes below to Breaker so he can radio them to Flint back at the command car. (And you thought I forgot to reference Flint’s walkie talkie…for shame.)
As previously mentioned, the awesomely appearing, and awesomely armored Blue Dragon stands atop the Helicopter Extraction Shipping Service truck, with the awesomely flag waving and awesomely jet packed Duke.
Because sometimes when you win, you need people solely to go, “TA DA!!!!”
Down below, Firefly, Generic Cobra Ninja 57-B, and Stormshadow are sliding head first down the ladder of the Fire Engine they stole from Barbecue before getting eaten top side.
A Cobra Bazooka trooper and a Cobra Claw armed with the U.L.G. are covering their escape, but things won’t get better for them down here. They also may never get down here, as their feet are so tightly wedged into that ladder to keep the stupid things from constantly dropping off and knocking everyone else over that I’ll probably have to put them away with the truck come January.
Sorry, that got away from me.
Barbecue is already close to reclaiming his property, as part of the away team we haven’t seen yet.
You’d think after all these years; I’d take the pictures with some sort of narrative structure in mind.
Doctor McCoy is accompanying him to get the medical facilities in the truck up and running again.
Bones is tough enough on his own, but the real reason he’ll be fine is the Dracolich about to deal with the Fire Engine thieves is being guided to attack by the inexplicably appearing large monitor lizard, who is mighty pissed after last year’s abuses.
The Dreadnoks are doomed…again. Zartan has already been mauled by the Manticore, and Buzzer, Ripper and Torch are busy falling over themselves to escape. (Or more likely, given the bumpy rug, just falling over.)
Croc Master’s last ditch defense attempt of shoulder mounting Señor Twinkles McFluffernutter the alligator doesn’t look hopeful. Zanya bailed out the side a while ago and will escape, and once it’s all over will get away and come off smelling like a rose…or at least like a plum.
Hey, here’s that away team I mentioned, debarking from Federation Space Shuttle 3H. The Cobra Desert Trooper has spent years of indignities being shot, stabbed, frozen, run over, and eaten. As soon as the beasts of mythology arrived to rampage up his cronies, he instantly surrendered to Freedom the eagle, and Junkyard the dog. Mutt and Spirit are having a good chuckle at his expense.
The most natural advance troops from both universes lead the assault:
The always impressive looking Stalker and Beachhead for the Joes, and Captain Kirk and Commander Spock for the Enterprise crew.
Destro, the Baroness and an Iron Grenadier desperately wanted to steal the technological secrets from the Space Shuttle 3H. The Green Dragon accompanying the away team in that ship desperately wanted to eat them. This should be quick.
The final confrontation occurs on the new Cobra Command vehicle. (The old one was commandeered for parade duty.)
Lacking any chance of winning, any courage, and more importantly, any walls to lean on inside the new Command Vehicle, the Crimson Guardsman, and their twin leaders Tomax and Xamot have leapt off the sides and are running for it. (Or leaning for it anyway)
No I don’t know which twin is which. That’s why they’re always posed together, so I can put them in one sentence.
See? I do plan.
Wild Weasel was making a last ditch attempt to cross wire the Trubble Bubble to the Command Vehicle to make a flying truck…but it’s too late.
Serpentor, Major Bludd, Cobra Commander, and a Cobra Officer with a scarred face you’d think I would have named at some point in the last dozen years…
Hmm, Wikipedia says his name is “Scar Face.” Lame.
Let’s call him Bertram.
Serpentor, Major Bludd, Cobra Commander, and Cobra Officer Bertram are surrounded and defeated.
Using a combination of Omicron Delta technology, Vulcan mental fiddling and Arashikage mumbo jumbo, Snake Eyes rides in on a Black Dragon (with awesomely shiny purple highlights if I do say so) while Scarlett comes on from the other side on a Gryphon that was the starting point of my whole new collection.
It was also a gift from my wife.
So when you ask where all this craziness came from?
She started it!
And more importantly, she put up with it and encouraged it, while Anabelle contributed to it.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all the other unique and fun families out there.
“To Explore Strange New Words, to See Out New Life and New Civilizations, to Boldly
Yo where no Joe has Yo-ed Before!”
Click here for other Christmas related posts, and the entire running gag filled history of conflict over this plateau.