Thursday, September 29, 2011

An Infinite Gauntlet of Crises

"People are like Twinkies. They are filled with a creamy goodness that is creativity.
However, people are also under pressure, and if they do not have a healthy outlet for their creativity, it squirts out in strange directions"
- Brian Moriarity

 This was written back when I had just moved into our new home, and hadn’t sold the old one yet. 

 Moving can be stressful

Since there were nearly a hundred characters in the first one, this one was only supposed to have a dozen or so to avoid having them be too obscure.

Also, due to the kind of financial jiggery pokery that caused the market collapse at the time, we had four mortgages.

 Moving can be VERY stressful.

Hence, this is the larger than originally planned amalgaddendum.

For the comic geeks in the crowd, I used more Marvel Knights than Defenders in for my JSA combinations this time around...for no reason other than I like them.  Also, I decided the MC2 universe of Spider-Girl is the true future of Marvel, because it’s happier.

As I said, I was stressed.

New Pictured Characters in CAPS
Characters from Amalgamations Accumulate in Italics
As always, please click on the pictures to bask in the obsession.


American Woman's loss of her title to a REPLACEMENT for a short time was the first widely visible effect of a crisis growing in secret.  After she adventured for a time known simply as WOMAN, the entire event was found to have been staged by the Nazi gorilla turned skeletal Amazon, RED GIGANT.  Apologies were issued, Diana Rogers was reinstated, but a precedent was set.

A legend had fallen.

Around the same time, the Hawlk was caught at ground zero of a temporal bomb explosion, and his brutish ways were replaced by a military cunning.  The personality of Carter Banner would vanish every night, replaced by the gray skinned Thanagarian mob enforcer, JOE KATAR.

The Falcon Stranger, didn’t supply his usual portents as he was caught up observing the now KING J’ORR lead Marsgard in the final battle of R’ag’naca’ndra.  The Stranger was so concerned with the effects of this battle; he didn’t consider the causes until it was too late. 

Other changes came slowly at first, and only beings cosmically connected to nature noticed the effects.  SOLOMAN SANDY's body reformed out of the quicksand in the bog where he died.  SWUAMPTU of the Parliament of Watchtrees issued as much warning as he could from the Green Area of the Moon, without breaking his race’s vow of non-interference. The vibrations came down through the magically grafted tentacles of FELIX FOSTOPUS, but he was too focused on bending the powers to his will to notice the true dangers.  Captain Buddy, ANIMAR-VELL, through the animal awareness granted him by the alien Kreagents, also felt the shift. 

It is suspected that these variations caused a backlash through Arthur Pym’s marine telepathy, which led him to undergo a complete personality and image change from Aqualith to the more angry and arrogant YELLOWJAQUA.  In was in this guise (and tiny size) that his hostility led him to strike Wasperman with all of his might, which damaged his hand beyond repair.


Gothork City received the next blow, as Iron Bat was overwhelmed on two fronts simultaneously. Already staggered following a hostile takeover of Wayne International from an unknown source, he found the need to spend all his time in the armor as Arkraft Asylum was blown wide open.

The city was immediately consumed.  The Jokernaut teamed up with the GREY SCARECROW, who petrifies his victims with fear at a touch, and dispensed emotional and structural destruction. At the same time a major gang war erupted between the Mandaguin, and the VENTRILAIMQUIST: an entertainer, scientist, and creator of the Miniature Organism For Attacking Chief Enemies, the killer puppet M.O.F.A.C.E. 

A battle also brewed in the park.  On one side the transistorized tartly twosome of IVYTANIUM and DYNAQUINN tried to start a No Man’s Collective.  KRAVEN THE HATTER meanwhile, had recruited the identical insect inspired inventing idiots BEETLEDUM AND BEETLEDEE to help create his Haberdasafari.  Even the ex children’s cryonic chemistry show host MR FRIZZARD was at large.

The techtective was at his lowest point when his assailant revealed himself.  Santa Prisician businessman Obadiah Bane had orchestrated both the takeover and the breakout.  He then finished the job personally in the venom powered IRON BANGER armor, and succeeded where so many others had failed, defeating Anthony Wayne physically, financially and spiritually.

A hero was BROKEN.


Obadiah Bane immediately began selling Wayne International secrets to the highest unscrupulous bidders. Iron Bat dedicated himself to an Armor Quest, hunting down and recovering the technology.  Refusing to abandon his city completely, he chose Jean-Paul O’Brien, member of the randomly European Vault of St. Dumas to take his place.  Unfortunately, the prototype Iron Bat armor he was using had been designed for Wayne's brain patterns.  O’Brien became psychotic, chasing away Warrobin and increasing the lethality of the armor until it suited his ultra violent methods imprinted by the security system that compelled him to become AZREGUARDS. 

Anthony returned home healed when his quest ended, reclaimed the Armored Mantle from the GADZBAT, and defeated the Iron Banger.  He had recovered his technology, his company, and his name, yet he was never more alone.

Because Iron Bat retreated into himself so completely, he drove away even long time allies such as Oracle X. Her protests were cut short as her group was focusing on supporting Batcrawler, who had discovered her mother was the Birds of X foe capable of changing shape and martial arts forms at a whim - MYSHIVAQUE.  This struggle brought the group closer together, but further from Gothork City, as they needed to look after Kassandra and other young new members.

The Birds rescued and took on another of Myshivaque's protégés. The runaway fashion model VOGUE absorbed the abilities of any animal she touches. A second adopted runaway, Cyndy Cassidy, has the ability to generate camouflage, and project illusions using her sonic powers.  Because of her nomadic past and slight lisp, she called herself GYPSHEE.  The team also became independently mobile with the addition of prodigy pilot Zinda Pryde, codename: LADY SHADOWHAWK.  Zinda could fly any craft made, and had the ability to render it and herself intangible, producing perfect radar invisibility.  Between her own skills, and her navigator/bodyguard BLACKHEED the dragon; she became a formidable addition to the group.

Ben Grayson had left the first Warrobin suit behind years ago when he transformed into Nighthing.  Even though he no longer fit in the armor, the fact that Tony never contacted him for help caused him great distress and anguish.  He left the Fantastic Titans because of this and the manipulations of Doomstroke's half-alien daughter RAVLYJIA.  The super strong BLOCKBIZZARD (in the hizz-ouse) made a deal with Mysteneron to become a genius inventor, and added to Ben's collapse by a series of attacks against his friends and family, destroying his apartment, and the Yancy Street Circus.  Nightthing was traveling with the vigilante from another dimension THUNDRANTULA at the time. He didn't lift a stony finger to stop her from killing Blockbizzard, further indications that something was wrong with the fundamental nature of the universe.

The reason Iron Bat faced his troubles without help from the other half of “Earth’s Mighty Finest" was a horror beyond imagination.

The foundations of the superhero community were intact, despite the growing unease, until a single event shook the entire world.  It began with the destructive arrival of a being born of extraterrestrial magic, and mythological science – WRECKSDAY!  MOONSTER, the Gold Knight from Egypt of the far future, knew the location and time of its arrival.  Most heroes were involved with preventing a Frightful Invasion of alien adhesive authorities, the PASTE POTATORS and their tacky tuber terrors.  Therefore, Moonster could only contact a scant few who were already in Europe after breaking up a mutant hormone augmented fight ring, overseen by the bird boned babe o' betting, ROWLETTE.  He also managed to reform the teenaged CAPTAIN VIDEO, who had been lost in cybertime after a military CRT explosion. The two of them aided by Spidrigan, Mary Marvelice, and Firebeetle weren’t enough. The creature bashed his way through London, ignoring the heroes.

These Amazing Buddies hadn't been this badly battered since the ill conceived attempt to housebreak the Sniffer of Worlds, G'NORTLACTUS.  They put out a call to the only one who had any chance of stopping the monster; the pheromone filled phenomenon himself: Wasperman.

The two clashed over and over, shaking the very foundations of the island, until the rampage was stopped.  Yet Wrecksday was not the only one to fall in battle that day.  Wasperman had worked with Boston Castle, when they had teamed up against the Darespectre's archenemy, ECLIPSEYE, the Spirit of Assassination that can turn anyone he possesses into a lethal object.  But this was the first time Clark Dyne met the Deadisher face to face.

An icon was lost.

                      CROSSING REIGNS

The world was in shock from the loss of Wasperman.  This shock soon gave way to astonishment as four possible replacements appeared.  For a time, each one had supporters who believed that they were the real deal reborn, reincarnated or relocated from a pocket dimension.

The true identities of the four were:

SUPACOSTA: Secretly funded by Lex Lultron this roboclone of Wasperman was partially made of the mad android’s own parts, but his mind used the young Pymtonian's brain patterns, pulled from the past.  The teen of steel was able to mimic Wasperman's powers through cybernetic telekinesis. He was also programmed with knowledge of pediatric medicine to repair himself.

STAN T MAN: Wasperman rescued John Henry Lang from a botched robbery attempt that nearly cost him his life.  He promised to turn his life around, and built himself an armored suit containing Pymtonite particles, allowing the simulation of some of Wasperman's abilities.

RINGBORG:  This half huckster half machine convinced the world he was Wasperman returned thanks to his hypnotic hat.

PALADICATOR:  A Pymtonian mercenary artifact given life.  His vigilante methods, and demands for payment, were obvious clues that he was not the Mite of Tomorrow.

Hoping to get some of the original’s power for himself, the Paladicator moved Van-El's tiny, still body (Still what?  Still tiny, Bwa ha ha [sorry]) to the Mansion of Solitude.  There the original was cocooned and emerged in an ELECTRINSECT WASPERMAN form, to stabilize the healing energies.

The returned New Yopolis Nifty led the other three pretenders, the Scarlet Lantern, and others, against Ringborg and his new ally MONGCADE.  The two were intent on converting Earth into a replacement for Mongcade’s Murdwar World – Gladiatorial Arena and Theme Park.

The heroes won, but not without cost… The Paladicator was physically drained and altered shielding Wasperman, but this managed to convert Bug Blue back to his original form. Stan T Man suffered injuries that prevented him from actively using his armored suit.

And in a lead up to much more sinister proceedings, the Scarlet Lantern's hometown of Wundacoast was destroyed.

                       TWILIGHT CHAOS

The destruction of Wundacoast was the final straw for Jordan Maximoff.  She had been slightly unstable from the loss of her husband’s personality and pigmentation into the speedizoid force, leaving him a COLD V.I.S.H.  Now, she went completely over the edge. As she zoomed away from the wreckage a stray probability construct shot toward Atom-Eye.  Already shaken from his wife's insanity caused by her encounter with the photonic phantom philanderer, LIGHT RIDER, he didn’t dodge in time.  The bolt affected his quiver, activating all of his arrows at once.  He was heard to yell, “Not like THIIIIIII…” as he shrank beyond the point of return to escape the blast. 

Determined to realign reality to meet her own warped perspective now, she set about absorbing the sum total of all chaos magic into her power battery.  Guardianess Agantheta and Strange Lantern gathered who they could to try to stop her. Prince T’chardner, the generixploitationally named BLACK GUY found his Vulkandan Panther Warrior abilities, and animal attitude, severely overmatched. They even released her father Sinneto from his extra dimensional prison, but her power was far beyond him as well.  As the two leaders were drained of their last energy, RINTRAWOG tried to stand in her way, but was cut down before he could finish saying, “You don’t want to do this, Moozer”.

She reached the central magics, and internalized them all.  At that point Scarlet Lantern ceased to be, replaced by the reality-altering enemy of all creation, PARAWITCH

An idol was besmirched.

The Guardianess wasted no time in gathering up the small residuals of chaos energy left and finding a new champion.  For reasons only she may ever know, she chose an individual who seemed to come out of nowhere to bear one of the greatest heroic legacies in the galaxy.  Kyle Reynolds was filled with super psyconstruct powers and became the SENTRION.

                       HOUSE OF ZERO

Kyle faced his own dark side very soon.  Due to his inexperience with his psychic constructs, all of his negative emotions became embodied in the OBLIVOID.  His triumph against it helped him advance from being a rookie in the eyes of the League of Avengers and other heroes.

He joined forces with them when Parawitch resurfaced.  She had aligned herself with the genius time programmer, the MAD EXTINKER.  With their combined powers, they intended to rewrite history from beginning to end.  It was their manipulations that had been causing all the dark changes to reality.

The battle was long and intense.  Before Extinker was defeated, he blasted Toro the Flaming Atom, the sightless scarlet soarer: MIDNIGHT RAVEN and the sixty minute skull scorcher: BLAZING HOUR. The three original members of the All Star Invaders, fighting evil since before the first appearance of the well-dressed wraith of the wehrmacht, GENTLEMAN STRUCKER, were aged out of existence. Parawitch was in the process of cementing her version of history by saying, “No More Retcons”, when she was stopped by a shaft from her own brother, Quick Arrow.

Taking down one of their own had an even more demoralizing effect on the champions than the events leading up to it.  Quick Arrow was inconsolable for a time and wandered alone, a Son of Crossroads.  He was only able to regain his soul with assistance from the imor-tall, (and real) STILTSHADEY


When it seemed things couldn’t possibly get any worse, the remaining users of chaos magic began attacking their allies.  Guardianess Agantheta realized what must be done and quickly dispatched Sentrion to retrieve Scarlet Lantern’s body.

Performing an exorcism while Kyle held off the obviously controlled group, the Guardianess revealed the truth.   Jordan Maximoff had never turned evil or insane.  She was possessed in a moment of weakness by the space demon MASTER PANDALAX.

With the ceremony complete, the League of Avengers and Justice Defenders combined attack quickly drove Master Pandalax back though the central chaos magic battery and into Mr. Mxyphystoplk’s realm.

Reality began to right itself almost immediately with new, young heroes following a lighter path once more.  The Golden Ager's who fell during the House of Zero battle served as inspirations to their legacies, Hourgoyle and Doctor Midnighthawk. It also turned Toro’s godson, Michael Rothstien, away from his morally ambiguous path, as he used his powers as ATOMORBIUS, the growing vampire, for good.

Runaway Courtney Bowen came back home with the STAR SPANGLED SPIRIT OF 76’s equipment she had stolen from his old partner, and her stepfather, Tyrone Duggan.  He taught her to use it, along with PASTARIOT's gravironi rod, and designed a dark force manipulating battle suit for himself to use in the field.  When the terrible trio of evil: the immortal insane industrialist Vandal Osborne, the SAVAGE GOBLIN; the malfeasant musical maestro FIDDLEHEART; and the gashing ghost of a Gaelic gladiator, the SILVER BANDIADER; attacked the supposedly empty Justice Defenders HQ, they got more than they bargained for. The STAR DAGGERED KID and STROAK sounded the alarm, and held them off until reinforcements arrived.

John Henry Lang put his knowledge and design abilities to good use for Wasperman and New Yopolis.  Meanwhile, his daughter Natasha joined the family business, as her dad has repaired, repainted and reconfigured his armor to have added abilities, and added extra monitors so he can keep an eye on his STEENGERL.

The returned Scarlet Lantern combined her powers with Strange Lantern to undo all the dark changes to the universe caused by Master Pandalax.

With reality realigned, the League of Avengers reformed at maximum strength.  Wundacoast and Marsgard were returned. Aqualith, V.I.S.H., Atom-Eye and Laithwenbird, and Rintrawog and the corps were all restored.  Nighthing mended fences with his mentor, true love, and team, recruiting Ravlyjia away from her father and into the Fantastic Titans along the way.  The Birds of X and the Bat Force groups were working closer than ever. The Justice Defenders continued to pass the torch to the next generation.

The big three of American Woman, Wasperman and Iron Bat led the way as the legends, heroes and icons they are.

Evil was vanquished.

Good Triumphed.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Thanx to:
Mom and Dad for encouragement, support, and proofreading
My sister for saying things like “awesome" and "fantabulous" as each wave was finished.
Lady Mariko on Alvaro’s Comic boards for compliments and an aside that broke two years of writers block.
My wife for pretty much everything (especially patience).
And certainly not least my daughter, for reminding me how all stories should end, and inspiring the next round of these crazy things.

All component heroes copyrighted trademarks of DC and Marvel.
All Microheroes kit bashed/based on components from

Picture Key by Chapter

CONTEST NO MORE – Wonder Woman the Contest/ Captain America No More

AMERICAN WOMAN II - Artemis as Wonder Woman/ John Walker as Captain America
WOMAN – Diana/ the Captain
RED GIGANT – Giganta/ Red Skull
JOE KATAR – Hawkworld Hawkman/ Joe Fixit gray Hulk
KING J’ORR – King Thor/ Martian Manhunter (Martian form)
SOLOMAN SANDY - Solomon Grundy/ Sandman
SWUAMPTU – Swamp Thing/ Uatu the Watcher
FELIX FOSTOPUS – Felix Faust/ Doctor Octopus
ANIMAR-VELL – Animal Man/ Captain Mar-vell
YELLOWJAQUA – Aquaman (Peter David run)/ Yellowjacket

ARMOR FALL – Batman: Knightfall/ Iron Man: Armor Wars

GREY SCARECROW - Scarecrow/ Grey Gargoyle
VENTRILAIMQUIST & MOFACE - Ventriloquist & Scarface/ AIM & M.O.D.O.K.
IVYTANIUM – Poison Ivy/ Titanium Man
DYNAQUINN – Harley Quinn/ Crimson Dynamo
KRAVEN THE HATTER – Mad Hatter/ Kraven the Hunter
BEETLEDUM AND BEETLEDEE – Tweedle Dee and Dum/ the Beetle
MR. FRIZZARD – Mr. Freeze/ Blizzard/Mr. Wizard (just fer fun)
IRON BANGER - Bane/ Iron Monger
BROKEN IRON BAT – Injured Bruce/ Injured Tony

KNIGHT WARS – Batman: Knights End/ Iron Man: Armor Wars

AZREGUARDS – Azreal/ Guardsman
GADZBAT – Valley as Batman/ O'Brien as Iron Man
MYSHIVAQUE – Lady Shiva/ Mystique
VOGUE – Vixen/ Rogue
GYPSHEE – Gypsy/ Banshee
LADY SHADOWHAWK & BLACKHEED – Lady Blackhawk/ Shadowcat and Lockheed
RAVLYJIA – Ravager/ Lyjia
BLOCKBIZZARD – Blockbuster/The Wizard
THUNDRANTULA – Tarantula/ Thundra

DEATH IN AVALON – Death of Superman/ Avengers: Avalon (ish)

WRECKSDAY – Doomsday/ the Wrecker
MOONSTER – Booster Gold/ Moon Knight
PASTE POTATORS – Dominators/ Paste Pot Pete
ROWLETTE – Roulette/ Owl
CAPTAIN VIDEO – Captain Adam/ Video Man
G'NORTLACTUS – G'nort/ Galactus
ECLIPSEYE – Eclipso/ Bullseye

CROSSING REIGNS – Reign of the Supermen/ The Crossing (sort of…a bit)

SUPACOSTA - Superboy/ Jocasta / Dr. Acosta (my pediatrician. Did I mention I was stressed?)
STAN T MAN – Steel/ Ant Man
RINGBORG – Cyborg Superman/ Ringmaster
PALADICATOR – Eradicator/ Paladin
ELECTRINSECT WASPERMAN – Electric Superman/ Insect form Wasp
MONGCADE – Mongul/ Arcade

TWILIGHT CHAOS – Green Lantern: Emerald Twilight/ Avengers Disassembled: Chaos

COLD V.I.S.H. Dark Flash/ Vision (after he got Byrned)
LIGHT RIDER – Doctor Light/ Ghost Rider
BLACK GUY - Guy Gardner, Warrior/ Black Panther
RINTRAWOG – Kilowog/ Rintrah
PARAWITCH – Parallax/ Scarlet Witch
SENTRION – Ion/ Sentry

HOUSE OF ZERO: Zero Hour/ House of M

OBLIVOID – Oblivion/ the Void
MAD EXTINKER – Extant/ Mad Thinker
MIDNIGHT RAVEN – Doctor Midnight/ Red Raven
BLAZING HOUR – Hourman/ Blazing Skull
GENTLEMAN STRUCKER – Gentleman Ghost/ Baron Strucker
STILTSHADEY – the Shade/ Stiltman

REHEXED - Green Lantern: Rebirth/ the unwritten redemption of Wanda (which is long overdue dangnabbit).

MASTER PANDALAX – Parallax Entity/ Master Pandemonium
ATOMORBIUS – Atom Smasher/ Morbius, the Living Vampire
STAR SPANGLED SPIRIT OF 76 – Golden Age Star Spangled Kid/ Spirit of ’76 (with extra macaroni jokes, wheee!)
PASTARIOT – Starman/ Patriot
SAVAGE GOBLIN – Vandal Savage/ Green Goblin
FIDDLEHEART – the Fiddler/ Blackheart
SILVER BANDIADER – Silver Banshee/ Gladiator
STAR DAGGERED KID and STROAK – Star Spangled Kid and STRIPE/ Cloak and Dagger
STEENGERL – Steel (Natasha)/ Stinger (Cassie Lang MC2)

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