Dog Food For Chairs: A Tale of Two Als

Based on the release of Alpocalypse at the start of the summer and Welcome 2 My Nightmare at the end of it, I have come to the realization that Weird Al and Alice Cooper are the only two musicians that make me run out to the store the day a new album is released.

There’s several more “onlys” that these two share.

They’re also the only two artists who I will regularly listen to their entire (multi decade) album catalogue chronologically on a regular basis, and the only ones I’ve gone out and upgraded from cassettes to CD without the tapes breaking.

They’re the only two musicians I will seek out interviews of, as they are both intelligent well-spoken and funny. (Alice Cooper’s kids are also intelligent, well-spoken and funny, which speaks volumes in his and his wife of thirty five year’s favor, more than almost any other attribute.)

There really isn’t any other big name act I’d want to see in concert anymore either.

But what could the king of musical comedy and the godfather of shock rock have in common to solicit this response from me?

While it is possible that my Advanced Psychology professor was correct when he paid me one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received:

“Most people are a little off, but you’re two or three standard deviations away from the norm in both directions.”

There may be an underlying similarity after all…let’s look at the facts.

Al & Alice – Both known for unusual footwear.

Al – Got started by mailing parodies on cassettes to Dr. Demento in high school

Alice- Got started performing Beatles parodies at the high school Letterman’s dinner.

Al – Has worked with the same band since he started recording the early 80’s

Alice – His high school cross country teammates became the original Alice Cooper Band, and most appeared on Welcome 2 my Nightmare after they were inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame as a group earlier this year. Woo! (He's also had long standing professional relationships with other band members in the interim.)

Al – Jay Levey has been his manager, creative partner and friend pretty much since day one.

Alice – Shep Gordon has been his manager, creative partner and friend pretty much since day one.

Al – The Compleat Al documentary, and The Authorized Al book were a mix of true and made up facts to add to his comedy reputation.

Alice – Multiple stage legends (killing a chicken, drinking blood) were never officially denied when they first appeared to add to his horror reputation.

Al – Was there for the early years of Mtv and took advantage of the new medium to try new and creative things in videos. He’s also written movie themes and appeared in films, and made the film UHF.

Alice – Was there well before Mtv, but came up with new and creative videos anyway, including the film of Welcome to my Nightmare. He’s also written movie themes and made film appearances.

Al – Has friends from the comedy world that appear in various works (Emo Phillips, Judy Tenuta, Drew Carey, etc), and is also friends with musicians based on his musical knowledge and video direction (Hanson, Ben Folds, etc.)

Alice – Has friends from the music world that appear in various works (Rob Zombie, Slash, Flo and Eddie, etc.) and was also friends with famous comedians based on vaudeville style showmanship and personality (Peter Sellers, Groucho Marx, etc.).

Al- Is the greatest current artist in novelty music but always references his influences: Spike Jones, Stan Freeberg, Alan Sherman, Tom Lehrer and Doctor Demento.

Alice – Is the greatest artist and creator of most rock theatrics, but always references his influences: The Beatles, the Stones, the Yardbirds, the Who, and the Kinks.

Al - Played Frank Zappa on his college radio show, and did a tribute to him (“Genius in France”) on Poodle Hat featuring Dweezil Zappa guitar solos.

Alice – The band Alice Cooper was first recorded by Frank Zappa and released on his record label. Alice called him the most underrated, and one of the greatest, guitar players of all time.

Al – Appeared on Yo Gabba Gabba.

Alice – Appeared on the Muppet Show (And was one of the only guests who not only fit in, but enhanced the show by transforming it in his image.)

Al – Known for goofy "family fun" food and TV based songs, but often mixes in the gross and disturbing. (“Party at the Leper Colony”, “Do I Creep You Out?”, “Wanna B UR Lovr”).

Alice – Known for being gross and disturbing but often mixes in blatantly goofy songs. (“King of the Silver Screen”, “Thrill my Gorilla”, “I Love America”)

Al – With his parodies and songs “in the style of”, he insures his albums contain an accurate reflection of current pop music infused with his wacky sense of humor, plus a mix of many other musical styles. (country, polka, surf music about internal organs, etc.)

Alice – Often works with other musicians to insure his albums are a reflection of the hard rock/heavy metal of the time infused with his dark sense of humor, plus a mix of other musical styles (country, disco, surf music about zombies, etc.)

Al – Has become healthier than when he was younger by switching from eating things like the “Twinkie Weiner Sandwich” to a full vegan diet.

Alice – Has become healthier than when he was younger by switching from alcoholism to a golf addiction.

Al – Includes multiple costume changes and props in his live show including such twisted humor items as punching out Santa in “Fat” and attacking a bed with a chainsaw in “Like a Surgeon”

Alice – Is Alice Cooper…nuff said.

But I think this may be the clincher:

Al – The “White and Nerdy” video from Straight Outta Lynwood features a ridiculous dancing Donny Osmond.

Alice – The final Lyrics of “Department of Youth” from Welcome to My Nightmare