What if Dr. Seuss was a Dirty Old Man

This one started as a story of the only bachelor party I ever went to that I was never happy with.  It wasn't my style in general and never came out right.  One night I forgot my reflux medication and woke up at 3am with this fully formed in my head. (Which indicates there's probably some other medication I should be on)

Ode to a Gentlemen’s Club

With reluctance I go

            To a bachelor party,

Then with folded arms sit

            Like a grumpy old farty.         

It never made sense

            What would make this place neat.

Seems like a good rest’rant

            That says, “Look but don’t eat.”

I stay unimpressed

            Till a friend, on a whim,

Hands a bill to a dancer,

            Saying, “Take care of him”.

So she crawls off the stage

            To join me in my chair,

Then does a great handstand

            In the space that we share.

As I smile quite stunned

            At her butt in my face,

I suddenly grasp

            The appeal of the place.

All worries all schedules

            All plans and all fear,

Disappear in a flash.

            There’s just now and here.

To go back to the rest’rant

            And make a joke rude:

Though no eating’s allowed,

            You can play with the food.   

So I join in the fun,

            Tipping each girl thats neared,

‘Cept the one I grew up with

            ‘Cause, Man! That was weird.

I alone in the group

             Will recall this tomorrow.

As the one sober driver

            No hangover sorrow. 

The night flies by fast,

            Everything’s going cool.

Then I’m purchased a lap dance

            By some drunken fool.

As before, I expected

            All look and no touch.

But I once more discover,

            That I do not know much.

She envelops my face,

            With breasts scented vanilla.

Stopping all of my air,

            Which so quickly can kill-ya.

As consciousness wanes,

              and its time for a nappy

One thought fills my brain,

              “Well, at least I’ll die happy!”