Thursday, September 13, 2018

Bondlets: Skyfall


We watched Skyfall almost immediately after the last installment as my daughter claimed she needed “a cleansing.”

I think she’s grown accustomed to the level of action in these movies, upon seeing the dead people in the opening scene; she went into a piratical accent and said, “They’re telling no tales, arrrrrrrr.”

She had a lot of criticism for Eve in the pre credits scene, noting she wasn’t a very good driver, and calling the vehicular interplay, “like Peru but with accidents.”

She did yell and cheer a lot during the chase, stating the movie was already way better than the last one.  When I answered her question that most of it probably couldn't happen she said, “Bummer, life would be spicy.”

When Eve accidentally shot 007, she opined, “Y’know, I'm just not impressed with her today.”

The opening credit scene was termed, “A kaleidoscope of trippyness,” to which she added, “I'm so confused…I love it.”

Judy Dench’s awesomeness continued to be appreciated.  When M asked the Bobby impeding her, “Don’t you recognize the car?” Anabelle followed up with, “You just got M’ed.  I really like her, there should be more M’s in the world.”

She wondered why James was in M’s house again, and was unsurprised that his flat sold immediately:
"Of course, everyone would want it.”  
When I asked why, since in universe he’s supposed to be undercover, she replied:
“Come on!  Everyone knows.  He’s always all ‘Look at me! I'm James Bond, secret agent! Pew! Pew! Pew!'”

She was troubled at his poor performance at the new MI6 location, especially his missing the target at the pistol range.  
“He’s not doing so hot. It is a sad day. This is gonna be a very boring movie if all he does is complain about life. He’s gotta pick himself up and go do whatever you do.”

Then he cut the bullet out of his own chest and she went, “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!”

She felt Eve and Mallory were suspicious throughout the film and pointed it out every time they were on screen, going so far as to yell, “Get out!” when Eve showed up in the field later.  For Mallory her opinion varied more, going from:
“He’s not so bad;” to “oh he’s still a jerk face.”

She had some theories early on about the two of them which were cut short when M declared 007 was cleared for service.
“HE MISSED EVERYTHING!  He’s totally not ready, M, what are you doing?”

The arrival of the new Q had some mixed reactions. The banter with him and 007 led to her yelling:
“Ho ho ho!  Sass battle!”

But his providing only a gun and radio, while poo pooing the idea of an exploding pen upset her:
“He’s no fun, he should have at least given James a car. I’m disappointed- this conversation should have been in the last movie.  Who cares about realistic? I wanna see fun stuff.”

When she later learned Q was afraid of flying it didn’t help her estimation:
“Are you frikkin’ kidding me? This guy has no use.”

The music went along with her general estimation, liking when they worked in the main James Bond theme:
“Yeah, they do that when it's a good one. The last one sucked.”

When Javier finally revealed himself with the rat story:
“He’s creepy looking.  It’s a nice story though  
He’s funny. But also very scary.”

Followed by 007’s calm review of Javier’s terrorist activities, Anabelle joined in the conversation:
Bond- “Well, everyone needs a hobby.”
Javier- “What’s yours?”
Anabelle- “Drinking!”

She did stay in the film though, when Javier mentioned a marksmanship contest with 007, she let out a string of, “Oh no no no no…”

She was excited when Bond, “Outsmarted the smartypants,” to capture Javier.  However, she still found him terribly creepy, and when he removed his jaw implant telling M to “look upon your work, mother.”  Anabelle replied:
That is really nasty. I don't wanna look upon her work anymore.”

Later, screaming once again when the train nearly fell on 007, she was impressed and confused when I told her they did the shot by crashing a real train:
“How did they get the money for a real train when the last movie stunk?  
They must have used the gadget budget on the train.”

Mallory was a hard sell, based on his antagonist role in the beginning… and the fact that he’s Voldemort.  He started to gain trust during M’s trial when she egged on his epic interruption:
Mallory- “Excuse me, Minister, I don't mean to interrupt, but just for the sake of variety, might we actually hear from the witness?”
Anabelle- “Oof! Get roasted Minister.”

Then she went back to cheering for Judy Dench’s awesomeness until the fire fight broke out.  When Mallory got shot she yelped: 
“Nooooooo!  Oh wait, it’s only him…

I think the scene where Mallory and Q were working with Tanner to secretly help Bond escape and leave "breadcrumbs" cemented both of them.  After she finishing wildly cheering for the return of the Aston Martin DBV and its gadget buttons, of course.

Q’s, “So much for my promising career with espionage,” was answered with, “I really like him.” And when Mallory pitched in ending with a reply to, “What if the PM finds out?” being,
“Then we’re all buggered.  Carry on.”
Anabelle applauded for a while, and then added:
“I still don’t like him.  He’s OK I guess.”

She figured out Kinkaid’s role based on this line:
Kinkaid- “The night I told him his parents had died, he hid in here for two days. When he did come out...he wasn't a boy anymore.”
Anabelle- “Does that make him Alfred?”

Dame Judi Dench claiming the honor of the use of a certain expletive led to the following exchange:
Anabelle- “Ooh! That was an “F” word!”
Me- “Yup.  Only one in the whole franchise.”
Anabelle- “YEAAAAAAAAH M!”

By the climax, she was completely involved, yelling at Bond to “Stop staring and waiting for the fire to come,” softly saying “Oh my God” twice during the under the ice on the lake scene, and being reduced to total silence for M’s final moments.

When 007 returned to work, her initial reaction to Eve was, “Ukh!  I don’t like her.”
That is until she recognized the hat rack and the padded door.

With the double reveal of Moneypenny and M, the film faded out to her giggling, and kicking her feet in the air while cheering.

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