Monday, September 9, 2019

The Litany of Godzilla: Reiwa Series- Empty Promises

Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle

The Escape Earth Ark can’t find the Dregs of the survivors from the previous attack. They plan to leave after two days.

A Dusty Gray Native Girl is healing Hero Captain Haruo. This is odd since she looks twelve.

Eventually we learn the Dusty Gray Native Girl has a tribe that has helped out some of the Dregs, and a twin sister who leads a damaging attack on the rest of the Dregs. 
This is odd since she looks twelve.

It is also odd because the tribe design looks stolen from Disney's Atlantis.

The Dusty Gray Native Twins are telepathic, and their tribe is descended from last humans who stayed on Earth through its Godzillification.  The telepathic twins and company stayed behind to guard a giant egg of their dead god. 

Yeah, don't get your hopes up.

The Dregs all regroup with the Dusty Gray Tribe and apologize for razing their land while attacking Godzilla.  One of the Space Dwarves realizes the Dusty Gray Tribe’s weapons contain nanometal.
This is:
1) The reason the primitive tribe kicked the Dregs’ butts.
2) The same metal the Space Dwarves used to make Mechagodzilla.

I guess that means Mechagodzilla was in one of the confusing montages in the first film.
Yeah, don’t get your hopes up.

The Space Dwarves decide they can take out the Big G since the nanometal is growing, or something.  A few of the Dregs try to head back to the Escape Earth Ark while Hero Captain Haruo leads the rest to find Mechagodzilla City, where Mecha-G was built. They politely ignore the question of “If Mechagodzilla City is there, why do we care about the nanometal spears and arrows?”

One of the Telepathic Dusty Gray Native Twins warns that nanometal is poisonous, but the Space Dwarf counters with, “Only to Godzilla.”

Part of Mechagodzilla’s noggin is cranking out the nanometal, and the Space Dwarves connect it to the city and use it to coat Mechagodzilla City with nanometal. They also make “Vulture” armors allowing flight and cool anime poses.

Hero Captain Haruo gets a girlfriend in one of the Vulture suits.  He also finds the main Space Elf fiddling about with something in a cave.  Nothing creepy to worry about here, ha ha!

Space Elf warns about trusting the Space Dwarves since they want to be monsters…or something.  He also whispers the name of the worse than Godzilla thing that destroyed his planet.

Maybe it was inactivity and boredom?

Speaking of inactivity, Godzilla finally wakes up after nothing happening except talk and travel for about an hour and comes to attack the city.

Sadly, the city does not turn into a giant Mechagodzilla transformer and counter attack.  No that would be far too much activity.

The Space Dwarves in the city merge with the nanometal to power it up…or something.  It shoots Godzilla a lot, having the same effect as just about everything that shoots the King of Monsters- no real damage but many rocks fall on him.   As usual, aside from making him stand still for long periods nothing works, and the city can’t make the G Shield Generator Busting Harpoon Thingy. 

Space Dwarf in the Vulture bonds with the nanometal to become a human (or Space Dwarfish) G Shield Generator Busting Harpoon Thingy, and the same starts to happen to Hero Captain Haruo’s girlfriend.  It doesn’t happen to Hero Captain Haruo for reasons that aren’t readily apparent yet, much like most of this trilogy.

Space Elf leader contacts Hero Captain Haruo with a warning that the entire Earth will be absorbed by nanometal, which is one of the few things worse than Godzilla.   Probably should have mentioned that during the Creepy Cave conversation there, dude.

Hero Captain Haruo blows up Space Dwarf in the command center, saving Earth from nanometal. 
Ridiculous size Godzilla then breaks free of the rocks and wipes what’s left of the anticlimactically named Mechagodzilla City off the map.

Hero Captain Haruo tries and fails to wake up Coma Girlfriend, and at some point we learn the “Gray Dustiness” of the tribe counteracted the nanometal on those healed by them.

The even further reduced Dregs hang out in Space Elf’s Creepy Cave watching their outside surroundings turn into an atomic blast fueled, city wiping inferno.

Credits Roll.

End credit scene- We hear the name Space Elf whispered to Hero Captain Haruo...

Yeah, don’t get your hopes up.

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