Christmas Village 2025

The Leader In Ruthless Sports Terrorist Entertainment
Or
I Am A Real American… Hero
 
We’ve reached that time of year! 

The Eighteenth Christmas Battle Village is the first time that it is a true, immediate sequel to last year’s battle. Once again, many thanx are due to Doctor Miller, my dentist (retired), reader (long time) and friend (current) for donating the “guest stars” for both last year and this follow up after his housing downsize!
 
Disclaimer #1) I didn’t bother checking exactly which trucks were used last year or where they were placed meaning I set them up based on memory. I only checked after all the figures were set up and it was too late to move them leading to some locational shifts in this "immediate sequel." So there.
Disclaimer #2) I have given up trying to find the proper stand for each figure. No one can read them except me while I am setting them up, and the figures barely can stay upright on them anymore anyway as they get older, and the joints get softer. This is also why so many are becoming left-handed as their right (and more and more often, left as well) hand is stretching beyond usability.
Disclaimer #4) There was a wrestling figure I didn’t use: one of the guys from Demolition. It was pretty badly made to begin with, and really beat up. I couldn’t tell which tag team member it was, and he didn’t make a good story element without his partner. 

Axe or Smash, I apologize.

Disclaimer #5) I'm almost positive there was a "Disclaimer #3" at some point. I know it wasn't that I am blatantly lying about never doing an immediate sequel before. I wonder what it referenced?

It Is Time.
 
The Joes and Cobras were completely overwhelmed on Sluttbordet Plateau last year by the invasion of the Miniature Marauding M.U.S.C.L.E. Men. Only by working together could the two groups of sworn enemies make any headway against their swarming attackers from another dimension. Technical experts from both teams joined forces to modify the "Fractally Advancing Reality Transmogrifier" carried by the G.I. Joe “High-Speed Extra-dimensional Search Ship” to send the tiny terrors back from whence they came.

 
The small size of their foes was found to have been caused by a shrinking effect as they were extracted from their dimension. Trying to combine a mix of Cobra and Joe equipment in the beam generator unfortunately damaged the "Universe Gyroscopic Location Yanker." While engaged in returning the M.U.S.C.L.E. Men home the transportation and embiggening ray accidentally locked on to the middle of a 1980’s World Wrestling Federation house show. And now…
 
PANDEMONIUM IS BREAKING LOOSE ON THE FROZEN PLATEU!!!!

Digital Dad In the Boxing Gauntlet Created for Him

I came to a recent realization burning the week's stress away by playing Fight Night Champion, yet again, one weekend. 

One of the main reasons I started videoing fight outcomes was to show my Mother the digital version of my Dad I put into the game. 

One of the reasons I started running fighters through the "Rocky Gauntlet" was to have a series of varied boxer types to test out and adjust boxers I downloaded, or made... including the peak stats middleweight I created to be Digital Dad. 

Dad was the first fighter I was able to win against Ivan Drago with, who until that point was undefeated by huge margins of points and knockouts. 

And yet, I had never recorded Dad's progress through the gauntlet, or even filmed his victories against the characters of this franchise.

To get a little variation, and more cinematic videos, this time I did not set up to record the "instant replay" the game makes accessible after the match (which I am terrible at controlling the speed and picking an angle for). Instead, I snatched  up my phone after every knock down to ensure I recorded the end of each fight, with the far more impressive, "slow motion close up, including commentary in larger venues" replay that is built into the game play portion. 

Naturally, after some normal performances when I reached this realization, on the following night when I was recording, much of the Artificial Rocky Film Cast performed far better than usual.

Either 

A) They knew they were being filmed and upped their game

or

B) Because I'm still in a cast from Achilles Tendon surgery, I didn't have my usual video game night beverage with me, and there was some sort of Johnny Fever-esque reflex enhancement due to alcohol in my system the previous evenings I had played this game.

Either way- ON WITH THE FIGHTS 

Dad Versus Rocky Balboa

Original Rocky Movies What If Part 2

The Mom inspired Mother's Day boxing posts continue. Not only did she point out that Rocky shouldn't lose, but she also said for the initial "Boxing What If" -

"The son shouldn't beat the father."

The initial intent was for this to be a one off "Bonus Fight" at the end of the "Rocky What If" story.

Original Rocky Movies What If Part 1

 With Mother's Day this weekend, it is logical to bracket it with boxing posts.

Creed 1.5 Let's Get Ready to Vortex!

What if...

After the First Creed Film, when Adonis was a Light Heavyweight contender, he fell into a time tunnel and the only way to return was to live through the life and fights of his mentor- Rocky Balboa?

That's a much cooler question than 

"What if, Jeff played video games all night instead of actually writing content?" 

isn't it?

Creed III- The Full Transition

 

Well, the day after Christmas is "Boxing Day!"

Some Slacking is More Slackful Than Other Slacking

"Great googley moogely, he's still talking about that stupid twelve year old game?"

Yes...yes I am.

The True Philadelphia Heavyweight Champion

Joe Frazier got short changed in both "real world versus Rocky" line ups. Therefore, he gets an entire post with videos for each confrontation in the "Gauntlet." I chose specific locations to make it seem like Joe had traded places with Balboa throughout the film franchise. However, I'm old and forget things now, making that less obvious than it should have been.

Real World Champions Fight the Fictional Gauntlet

 

While it is true I am wasting time here by posting about my video game playing activities, I could be wasting far more of it.

Clash of Fictional Champions

As my cheesy "talking about a video game and making it somewhat informative by adding real world information" posts continue, its time to hit a new low - substituting one fictional character for another.

My absolute favorite boxing movie is Diggstown.

The Other Italian Heavyweight Champion

 

After playing Rocky Marciano through the Rocky movie fights, I've adopted that "Gauntlet" as a way to enjoy myself with Fight Night Champion for an evening without having to spend time picking bouts. Since there's a lot of variety in the opponents, it makes for an interesting evening.

Classically Conditioned Champion Comparisons

I spent many a weekend night playing video games a while ago instead of writing…
Which leads to the inevitable group of posts about Fight Night Champion again.
 
Since I have no ability to stop the flow of usless information from my bucket like head, game information will me mixed with real world boxing history as well.
 
To highlight my laziness, this first bit lacks videos, and I was only watching the game have A.I. driven fights, not playing.
 
For a while, I wanted to see the outcome of putting the three shorter heavyweight champions known for their conditioning and damaging swarm punching against each other:
 
 Joe Frazier, Mike Tyson and Rocky Marciano.
 

One of My Father's Famous Quotes Verified

While I downloaded almost all of the extra boxers I use in Fight Night Champion, there were two I made from scratch. 

Real Rocky in a Rocky Versus Real Redux

Confession time-

My weekend night video game relaxation has almost exclusively been playing Fight Night Champion for a long time. 

Yes, open world games are more immersive, but they also take a lot more concentration and remembering what was going on, sometimes adding to stress instead of reducing it. 

I've been reading books and websites on boxing, leading to saving up ideas for which match-ups to do on the weekend, then blowing off the week's steam on this game. That leads to wanting to read more books and websites on boxing the next week, and the cycle continues.

Wrestling Moments: WrestleMania XX, March 14 2004- Madison Square Garden

I saw this moment well after the fact, 

and even weller after the days I watched wrestling in my youth. 

Therefore it shouldn't count as part of this list.

But it will, for "reasons."

I caught it on an "Undertaker's Greatest Matches" show before all the wrestling stuff vanished off of Netflix when the WWE (and everyone else in the world) made their own streaming service.

Wrestling Moments: Summerslam 1992, August 29, 1992- Wembley Stadium

It should be clear at this point that I am, and ever have been, an old softie. Three of these moments are finishes that looked like they would create or amplify feuds, but instead led to reconciliations.

I love a happy ending.

Wrestling Moments: WrestleMania VIII- April 5 1992 Hoosier Dome (Indiana)

Hey, remember back in the index when I said I didn't know which two moments would be replaced by ones I'd talked about before?

I lied, it's this one and the next one.

Wrestling Moments: WrestleMania VII, March 24 1991- Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena 2

After a brief anniversary break comes a reminder that, while some of the wrestling moments that stuck with me were highly emotional, such as the last one from this very WrestleMania, many others I remember for being silly.

Very few moments reached the heights of silly that this "blindfold match" did, and that includes the build up.  

Let's start with the participants:

Wrestling Moments: WrestleMania VII, March 24 1991- Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena 1

As Hulk Hogan predicted (and pretty much helped along) The Ultimate Warrior could not sustain the popularity Hogan had as the WWF Champion.

Hogan again took the title at WrestleMania VII, the same night the Warrior won what may have been his greatest match ever...

Under conditions that made absolutely NO ONE care about his triumph, and made the entire wrestling world focus on what happened after he left the ring.

Wrestling Moments: WrestleMania VI, April 1, 1990- Toronto Skydome

This face off between the two main "faces" was an interesting study of both the behind the scenes mechanics of Professional Wrestling, and why Hulk Hogan remained as popular as he did for so long.