Thursday, August 18, 2022

The Mummy's Curse Through a "Kid's" Eyes

The last of the original Mummy films. 

For anyone who thought the whole idea of a slow moving killer going from movie to movie following one story line and killing those who survived the previous film started with Eighties slasher stories...
Nope, Kharis and friends did it back in the Forties. 

Granted all four of these movies are only an hour long. That likely means, if you took out the recaps, it's just about enough material for two films today.  Still I feel I was harsh at first stating the Mummy sequels really dropped in quality. These are all fun, and the continuing storyline through four films is impressive.

On the movie opening with the bartender lady singing a song for no reason:
Me- "Ah, Forties movies."

On the construction company clearing a swamp (where the Mummy sank in the last film):
Rosa- "Oooooh."

On an exposition update since she stepped out during the recap:
Me- "Twenty Five years have passed since the last film, which is odd since it was released in the same year, and it still looks like it takes place what was 'now.'
Also, even though the Scrips museum is still there, and its the swamp the Mummy sank in,
we are now in Louisiana with French names and people like 'Cajun Joe' when the other films were clearly in Massachusetts."
Rosa-  "Oh." *Shakes head*
On digging up the swamp:
Me- "Gasp! He found a strip!"
Rosa- "Oh. The moldy."
On strange Cajun name choices:
Me- "He's calling the foreman a Loup Garou?
The Wolf Man can't be in this one, Lon's already Kharis."
On the Egyptian from the museum being connected to the High Priests of Arkam:
Me- "We can’t trust the guy in the fez."
Rosa- "What a shock."
On the return of the Mummy after being dug up:
Rosa "Is that the same one?"
Me- "Yup, that's Kharis."
Rosa- "He's like a cat. 
He has nine 'no lives'."
On the request to bring three Tana leaves:
Me- "Oh, they're back to three to sustain him, and nine for rampage.
It's still during the full moon. They really should have crossed over."
Rosa- "Last movie they wanted to jump to nine all the time."

On the flashback scenes:
Me- "They couldn't afford a scrying pool, it's only a scrying teapot this time.
And they used the same footage from the first movie, meaning you don't get to see Lon Chaney Jr. out of makeup, and he's been Kharis more than anyone."
Rosa- "Awwww."
On the bulldozer unearthing another while Rosa was working on something: 
Me- "Look, a a hand!"
Rosa- "Frankenstein!!!"
Me- "No, Ananka."
Rosa- "Who?"
Me- "The girl Mummy."
Rosa- "But Frankenstein went in a swamp?"
Me- "That's the other series of movies."
Rosa- "Ah."
*Anaka washes off and is a young woman again*
Rosa- "Is that a different actress."
Me- "I think so," *googles* "Yes."
Rosa- "We've seen so many I get confused.
How were they apart when he was carrying her into the swamp.
Remember, he carried her with his bad arm?"
Me- "Yes, dear."

On Kharis attacking the bartender:
Rosa- "Awww, he killed the singer...
He has much less of a wedgie this time."
On expectations:
Rosa- "She doesn’t remember anything from the other movie?"
Me- "I don’t know. I never saw this one."
Rosa- "Really?!?!?"
On the Mummy's slowness finally shown letting people get out of his path before they know he's there:
Rosa *deep Mummyish voice*- "Oh.  Now I have to take the bus."
On Mummy clues:
Rosa- "Find the mold."
Doctor- "It looks like mold."
Rosa- "YES!!!!!"

On the Mummy's walking style:
Rosa- "He looks like me with my sciatic pain."
On Kharis's next victim:
Rosa- "Is he going to kill the poor doctor?"
Me- "Yup."
Rosa- "Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to warnings about the Mummy?"
Me- "Despite his lack of speed I think the mummy killed more people than any other monster."
On updating Rosa when she went into the other room again and Kharis grabbed Ananka."
Me- "He got her!"
Rosa- "Oh. He used his bad arm?
Me- "Yup."
Rosa- *Sigh*
On Raghib (who works with the guy in the fez) saying he will help Ananka:
Rosa- "Oh no. 
Be careful who you pick, lady?"
Raghib- "I meant no harm."
Rosa- *Psycho noises*
On - once again- just like each of these four movies, Kharis walks in on high priests fighting because one has fallen in love with Ananka and wants to share the Tana leaves to have her for themselves instead of bringing her back to Egypt with Kharis where they would finally be at peace together:
Kharis- *Stands up perfectly straight for the first time in four movies, and sags his shoulders in a heavy sigh*
Rosa and Me- "He is SO done."

 Click here for Universal Monsters Index 

No comments: