Fantasy Shows I Liked More Than Some Other People Part 2

Fine, Witcher: Blood Origin on Netflix wasn't as complex, or well made as the parent series.

It was still a hoot and a half!

 Warning

This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”

This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.

This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.

Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.

End of Warning.

What really puzzles me is folks who are fans of classic Eighties Sword and Sorcery films dissing this show. If you're singing the praises of Conan the Barbarian, The Sword and The Sorcerer, and The Barbarians, you should be eating this violent goofiness up.

The show opened with Jaskier swearing up a blue streak because he's about to die in battle. Followed by the arrival of a magical Minnie Driver, who is always awesome, to narrate the story we're watching to him. 

WOO!

Honestly, I don't think I've ever gone through a parade of "No, that's my favorite character" switches as quickly as I did in this show before.

First, we got Fjall, a huge, angry, Viking like, dude of an elf using a massive axe as a weapon. At one point he hurls it at a fleeing assassin because he's too tired to run after him. 

"Clearly," I think, "This will be my focal point character."

But then we immediately meet The Lark, a quick witted bard with a beautiful voice, who can take out foes with the unmatched speed of both her blades and her smart assed insults.

I instantly switch to,
"Well, now she's my favorite."

Until the two of them meet up with Scian, a sword master who kicks both their asses with only a scabbard...oh and she's played by the always fantastical Michelle Yeoh. 

"Of course! She's clearly the best character on this show."

Yet in the very next scene, Meldof the Dwarf wanders into a brothel and kills an entire company of evil elves with her war hammer named "Gwen" that she talks to, all while singing a song.

Honestly, it's a testament to the strength of the remaining three main characters of the group (two mages and a retired mercenary) that I noticed them at all after Meldof showed up.

Yes, there are seven of them on a seemingly impossible quest, meaning I was expecting the greater than fifty percent casualty rate that usually accompanies this kind of "Magnificent" revenge based, team up. I was quite happy that we only lost one of them. Furthermore, we lost that one in a way that made narrative sense, was a meaningful self sacrifice, and involved battling what was, more or less, a dragon.

However, I was sad that we also lost the awesome mercenary leader Uthrock One Nut. 

I mean...

Not too sad as he died in a hilariously over the top way, just after learning he will be immortalized in the Lark's new ballad titled:

"Uthrock Mighty Cock, He Who Hath Two Enormous Balls, That Slew an Empire!"

HUZZAH!

If the heroes were the only good part of this brisk four episode series, I would already be a huge fan.

However, the three main villains are HILAROUSLY Evil, to the point that they back stab everyone around them and get in each other's way continuously. If they could have worked together for more than two minutes at a time, they would have easily ruled the continent.

Entertainingly violent, fun characters, fantastic music, and an overall short run time.

Again I say- Basically, it's a hoot and a half.

There was no way to talk about this show without adding profanity. As mentioned the opening scene had a callback with Jaskier's extended dance mix of his previous profanity- 

Therefore in lieu of a true musical opening, that outburst, and the Lark's song title mentioned before, will have to do as we reach the highly special, (and fucking surprising even to me) Tenth  Anniversary George and Dana Awards for profanity in film and TV!

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