Transformers Rewatch Original Season 2C

The Core

Another brilliant Decepticon energy gathering plan has the Constructicons drilling to the center of the Earth. I’m sure it’s fine. 
I love how Cybertronians are constantly stunned by their own technology. 

Starscream- “A HOLOGRAM!!”
The Constructicons get a boatload of screen time in early Season Two, meanwhile the new Autobots kinda loiter around. Wow! Their combination for Devastator is much faster now. However, yet again, a cable defeats a giant robot. I blame The Empire Strikes Back.
Can we pause a moment to acknowledge our two mad scientists, Chip and Wheeljack, create a mind control for Devastator, and Optimus Prime- scion of honor and free will- has the reaction of. “That’s fine.” 
Wait, the Autobots can stop the drilling by freezing the water fall powering them. That means they could have simply put explosives on the falls. Why bother with the complex mind control plan? 
Megatron sees the Autobot plan in action but decides not to go for the easy kill. Perhaps living on Earth makes you stupid.
Oh good, they brought Chip on yet another combat mission against giant, homicidal, alien robots, IN HIS WHEELCHAIR.
Decepticons decide to reverse the play and use Devastator as their mole. Luckily for them, the Autobots are morons and bring him with them into the Ark and elsewhere.
Um… When the Constructicons separate, they’re all still under the Autobot mind control. That’s not how the combiner personalities are supposed to work. 

AAAAAH! Devastator is free and on a rampage against EVERYONE! These are goofy but really easy to get invested in. 

Oh well, looks like Chip is dead again.
Hey Megatron, maybe you should have done the “Devastator goes nuts plan” in their house instead of yours? Earth does make you stupid.
Prime and Megatron team up time again!
Side note- There are a lot of perfectly spherical boulders around.
 
 

The Insecticon Syndrome

I think this Park Ranger has been in the woods too long. He doesn’t know what could be big enough to cause the destruction he is seeing. Literally the whole world saw the Insecticon swarm last year.
Hound’s hologram fooled the Decepticons once again. You figure they’d scan for those by now. Several individuals have been shown to have Infra-Red vision. Earth makes you stupid.
So…due to energy beams, other stuff and “for reasons” the Insecticons grow. 
There’s Bombshell with his really easy and powerful mind control, which he never uses.
Optimus Prime- “Bumblebee! Spike! Cover us!”
That’ll go well.
Spike does have a giant Cybertronian rifle again. That seems unsafe. 
Oh, NOW Bombshell remembers he has mind control pellets. Yet he only uses them on Decepticons.
Megatron and Prime team up! Again again!
And also again, Spike saves the day. This time by manually taking the excess energy out of him before Shrapnel blows up the whole planet.
Shrapnel himself, sadly, still blows up. 
Luckily Bombshell, along with mind control pellets that he forgets about, has a “completely rebuild my friend” ray.
Weird. But handy.
 
 

Dinobot Island 1-2

Bumblebee has a long-range jetpack. Maybe that’s how they get around so fast off screen.
Where the heck did these other Autobots like Powerglide (A10 attack jet...kind of) come from? Only the Decepticons have a Space Bridge. Either they all came in Cosmos and Omega Supreme (who we haven’t seen yet) or they took advantage of the fact that the Decepticons never actually guard their Space Bridge.
More important question: Why does Powerglide have a visible blue weenie?

Oh look, they found the Island of 1950s Dinosaurs!
The first appearance of the famous line from the film, “Beryllium Baloney!” Fitting that it is in a Dinobot story- said by Huffer, the tiny truck, this time.
The Autobots finally have their own boom box! Except that Blaster doesn’t shrink…Meaning he is a GIGANTIC BOOM BOX. Eh, it was the Eighties, he’ll fit right in.
Hey, let’s take the twelve-year-old (actually fifteen, yes, I know) to the island of dinosaurs. Good idea. 

Once he gets there- every five seconds- “Oh No! They’re going to eat Spike.”

Motivational speech from Grimlock- “Getting better but still not more better enough!”
Look, Blitzwing (triple changer, fighter jet and tank) and the new Seekers. They just show up with no fanfare. How sad.
Starscream, displaying his scientist past, is once more the only one who notices the “defying the laws of physics” energy collection method is dangerous.
The Dinobots are trapped in a ravine because they forgot they can fly. With them, this is not surprising.
Meanwhile: Time tunnels show up all over the world. We should listen to Starscream more.

Autobot plan- “Let’s get Chip to work on our computer to solve this.” They’re learning.
Ooh, Beachcomber, Seaspray and Perceptor get random, quick introductions. (dune buggy, hovercraft and microscope... I'll probably introduce them again later when they get a focus) It’s the new toys greeting episode!  

Tracks is here too… he’s a flying corvette. Why?  
Hey, all of the Autobots have Jetpacks. That really does explain their travel times. Maybe those aren’t combat approved?
Dinobots, who have been shown to take out the strongest Transformers of either side with a single shot, can shoot each other just for cleaning purposes with NO DAMAGE. Dang! More confirmation that Wheeljack is crazy.
Huh, the Autobots are losing again, and the Dinobots have to save the day. What. A. Surprise. 
OK, the Dinobots bringing an army of real dinosaurs with them is both really a surprise and a power move. WOOO!

Grimlock caps it off by speaking the greatest line in the history of the franchise: 

“YOU WRONG AND YOU UGLY TOO!!!” 

Contrary to how I have quoted it for the past thirty-nine years, he does not go, “ME GRIMLOCK SAY” first. Whoops.

The machine blows up and all the energy they harvested just hops back where it came from. Huh, convenient.
Optimus Prime says the Dinobots are welcome to stay in the Ark after saving everyone’s bacon - and the world - yet again.
I guess the other times didn’t count.
 
 

The Master Builders

Well, he’s only been here two stories and I already hate Powerglide. 
Spike is teaching these giant robots to play Basketball. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
Prime- “Am I drooling correctly.” You can step on him if he corrects you, Optimus.
More new Autobots are coming out of the woodwork. Hi, Hoist (tow truck) and Grapple! (crane) (Note- these two show up far too much, and I get sick of them very quickly.)
The Constructicons (who, remember, are massively oversized, bright green, heavy machinery with oversized wheels or treads) snuck up on the two new guys. Let’s ponder that. 
Huh. This is where we learn the Constructicons are from Cybertron. I’m sticking with Megatron lied to seem cool.
“Hey! Why would the Decepticons deceive us?” Wow, even for an Autobot, Grapple is a moron. 
Optimus Prime “Assemble a Strike force!” Cool! Oh, never mind, it’s the same guys he always brings…and Spike. Granted, Warpath the mini tank was added, I’ll give him that one. 
Wait, Devastator had the fastest change we’ve ever seen to play “Bumble” and put the beam thingy on top of the solar tower. Meanwhile, his mid-battle combining takes an hour and a half.
Optimus, you realize bringing Cliffjumper balances out the benefit of Warpath on the Strike Team. 
Hoist and Grapple- “Sorry we disobeyed a direct order, betrayed everyone and almost blew up the Earth.”
Optimus- “Apology accepted.”*Pat Pat* (I'm paraphrasing.)

You REALLY gotta work on discipline there Prime.
Realization- Oh this story featured, “the Season Two end credits guys.”
 
 

Auto Berserk

The Decepticons have built a Toho Maser. Oh, excuse me, it is a “negavator.”
Once more we see how much trouble Earth and Cybertron would be in if Soundwave had more ambition. He and the cassettes make him a one man army, and the best either faction has. Rumble takes out Optimus on his own!
Well, good thing Red Alert (Lamborghini fire chief car) was guarding the Ark. He just sat there at the controls and got blown up by a missile that came in at walking speed.
Why is Prime telling everyone to return to headquarters? They’re there. Oh, hold on. Sorry for being confused as the bunker they were in looks exactly like the Ark. Nice budget protection there, animators.
Why do the Autobots keep building stuff that’s almost completely useless to them but great for the Decepticons?
Update, Red Alert has gone completely paranoid because his logic and reason circuits are fried. Have some severe mental illness on an after-school afternoon, kids.
Not to be rude, but he was already kind of a jerk before he blew up.

Ironhide can’t tell Red Alert from a real car that has no Autobot logo on it. I feel like transforming is far more effective on Cybertronians. That would explain how none of them notice the blue Walkman with a Decepticon logo on it in their base any of the myriad times Soundwave spies on the Autobots.
Starscream normally acts like the insane Red Alert is now. Does his immortal Spark make him insane? (I’m getting ahead of myself.)
The Autobot bunker kinda looks like The Pit from G.I. Joe. (No, I’m not ahead of myself this time, that matches broadcast order, even if it doesn’t match my current watching order.) 
AAAHH!!! Giant robot squid guard! Did they use Quintesson tech? (NOW- I’m getting ahead of myself again.)
Starscream’s Null Ray cures mental illness. Let’s process that a bit. It’s almost like the writers had no clue what a “Null Ray” was.
Red Alert and Inferno. (fire truck) What a cute couple. Firespray is going to be jealous. (Once more- I’m getting ahead of myself again.)

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