And then didn't stick the landing?
The What If show after three seasons finally grabbed on to the idea that the fun ones are the most enjoyable episodes. They followed that logic all the way through for the most part, then had a pointless, tragic, self sacrifice for the finale.
Really?
(I have no idea why that space is so big, and cannot make it go away.
Oh wait, now it's gone it its own.
What If... Jeff didn't understand the platform he writes on?)
Anyway, here are some more accurate titles for each episode with some other thoughts.
"What If... The Hulk Fought the Mech Avengers?"
or
What if The Heroes with Actors Willing To Do a Cartoon Piloted Awesome Looking Giant Robots?
This one was much more based on cool looks than cool story. They could have focused on the mech design, operation and powers more, but it did have some great character moments for Anthony Mackie and Mark Ruffalo. Another instance of the MCU writers remembering Sam is a counselor. Hearing Oscar Isaac back as Moon Knight was a treat. The best part was the end, where the title should have been
What If The Hulk Turned Into Godzilla?"
"What If... Agatha Went to Hollywood?"
or
What If Two Of Marvel's Most Fun and Musical Actors Got To Do Giant Production Numbers?
(alternate - What If We Remembered Eternals Exists?). This was where the fun ones began! It was great having Dominic Cooper back as overenthusiastic film maker Howard Stark with his reluctant assistant Jarvis, played again by James D'Arcy. Agatha Harkness and Kingo from the Eternals, both played by their original performers, Kathryn Hahn and Kumal Ali Nanjiani went full on in terms of both musical passion and the positive side of both performing and humanity itself. They all gave us a fun story with a cast clearly having a blast delivering an uplifting message.
"What If... The Red Guardian Stopped the Winter Soldier?"
or
What If Sebastian Stan and David Harbor Made a Wacky Eighties Buddy Action Flick?
This was hilarious. David Harbor was allowed to play the character even goofier than he did in Black Widow (but maintaining the soul of a hero) and Sebastian Stan was a perfect, and honorable, straight man. The story had cool nods to the cannon, a boatload of fun and many sweet moments of the two of them bonding. It makes me look forward to The Thunderbolts even more than I already was.
"What If... Howard the Duck Got Hitched?"
Or
What If Every Cosmic Conqueror Got Involved In a Farce Chase Where The Universe Is Saved By KISS Music?
The second instance of "I Was Made For Loving You" showing up in a genre title. (The other was Godzilla X Kong.) My guess is that it is partially tied to KISS being willing to merchandise anything, but also because Paul knows Gene hates that song, and probably farms it out frequently the same way he made sure it was in every concert they did after it's release. The episode brings in a giant gang of heavy hitters from around the MCU, and a mixture of awfully sweet and incredibly silly moments. Kat Dennings and Seth Green as Darcy and Howard The Duck bring their top game, laughs, and the power of family to this one.
"What If... The Emergence Destroyed the Earth?"
or
What If We Did the Requisite Dark Future Story With Ultron or The Vision, but Added Mysterio?
I think What If in all mediums is contractually obligated to throw in post apocalyptic stories with controlling Artificial Intelligence in them every so often. This one put a couple of twists on it. The first is that the cataclysm itself was the Celestial hatching that the Eternals prevented fracturing the planet. The second is having Mysterio be the one to take advantage of the situation and bring a fishbowl headed iron fist on the world. The addition of illusions to his reign added extra levels of confusion and tragedy to a well executed story. It was dark, but had hope in it... which made the Watcher realize maybe watching alone isn't enough. Dominque Thorn's emotionally powerful performance makes me more excited for the Iron Heart show!
"What If... 1872?"
or
What If We Referenced Marvel's Vast Western Comics History With Some New Characters?
Shang-Chi and Hawkeye thrown into a spaghetti western! Yee Haw! Simu Lu and Hailee Steinfeld clearly had a fantastic time playing in the Clint Eastwood sandbox, as did Walter Goggins as their foe. Kung Fu as it should have been.
"What If... The Watcher Disappeared?"
or
What If The Key Original Characters From Each Season Worked Together... Along With A Mix of Cartoon/ Comics Storm?
Haley Atwell returns (because of course she did) as Captain Carter, along with Devery Jacobs as Kahori from last season, but they were joined by Natasha Lyonne as the grown up Byrdie The Duck, introduced as an infant (and egg) this season. Not only that, but the fourth member of their band was a character from the What If Comic, Storm wielding Mjolnir as the Goddess of Thunder. To make it extra cool, Storm was voiced by her Nineties X-men cartoon voice, Alison Sealy-Smith! The episode was full of adventure, action and call backs to multiple parts of the three seasons. With all that going for it, it still served as set up for the big finale.
"What If... What If?"
or
What If The MCU Had A Super Cosmic Level Knock Down Drag Out Fight Like the Comics Do?
Marvel comics have shown solar system obliterating power levels clashing with each other about once a summer for the past forty or so years. We've never really gotten to see that animated, until now. And frankly it was awesome. However, given that this was the final season of this show, and given I am quite sure Haley Atwell will come running in full costume if ANY Marvel project offered her a chance to play Captain Carter again, having her save everyone with a noble sacrifice at the end, with the only cushion being "Maybe she became a universe like Strange Supreme did last season" wasn't enough.
What if they ended on a happy note so I didn't have to rant for a change?
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